Mechanical Difficulties
by HopelessRomantic79
Summary: This is not just a girl meets girl love story. This is the story of the evolution of Rosalie Hale. Rose picks Bella out of the crowd, but sometimes you have to watch what you say. Entry for the FML contest, continued into a full story. R/B AU/AH
1. The Fuck Up

****

FML Contest

Title: Mechanical Difficulties

Pen name: HopelessRomantic79

Characters: Rose/Bella

Disclaimer: I doubt SM would write this pairing, so clearly I am not her. I also do not own _Better Than Chocolate, _even on DVD. I should get that...

To see the rest of the entries in this contest, please visit the FML C2:

http://www . fanfiction . net/community/FML_Contest_Fics/77195/ (_remove spaces for link to work_) 

**A/N: Thanks SO much to Jaspers Sex Kitten for looking this over for me and giving me the thumbs up. Love you babe! ;-)**

The sun beat down on my back and bare shoulders as I lay in the quad on campus. People were moving by quickly- on bikes, on foot, on obnoxious skate boards- and I knew that they were all looking at me, staring, envying, desiring.

Because I am Rosalie fucking Hale, and everyone wants me.

I stretched, and felt like my back was going to crisp if I didn't flip over soon. It was the end of the semester, finals week, and I was "studying." All right, I needed an all-over tan to look killer in my bikini this summer, OK? I flipped onto my back, and settled back. I could hear gasps as they saw just how skimpy my bikini top was, and I smiled to myself. _That's right. Worship me, _I thought to myself, smirking to myself.

I turned up my iPod and let the sun beat down on me for awhile, before decided I'd been out too long. I was starting to see white spots in front of my eyes. I sat up, careful to make sure that my top didn't slip. I didn't mind giving the world a show, but I didn't want to give them the goods, too. Gathering my things, I swung my bag over my shoulder, adjusting my bikini top, and took one step.

I stopped.

There, walking across the quad with purpose in her step, was the most angelic, beautiful woman I had ever seen. And my heart gave a painful thud in my chest as my panties dampened. Fuck me sideways. She was an angel. Her porcelain, pale skin practically glowed in the sunlight, and her hair was a dark curtain around her face. And her body… don't even get me started. I wanted to pant after her like a fucking dog in heat, and perhaps even hump her leg. I laughed at my own ridiculous thoughts, but I couldn't help but think that if given the opportunity, I just might.

I was compelled to follow her, past the other sunbathers on campus, past the biology building, past the soccer fields, all the way across campus, until I figured out we were walking towards the library. Never in my life had I had stalkerish tendencies, that was something more like what my frat brother, Edward, might do. The song on my iPod didn't help my slightly disturbing behavior… "Every Breath You Take," by the Police. Great. There's irony for you.

But I couldn't help it. I was drawn to her. I had to know her. It was a physical need compelling me to follow her, to bump into her, to know her story, to get my hands on her soft, round…

A bike flew in front my eyes, startling me from my unblinking gaze at the brunette angel. I couldn't help the tiny scream that escaped my throat as my site was torn away, my concentration broken. I flipped off the rider's back, who seemed completely oblivious to me. Fucker.

I looked back up, and with a start and a shot of panic racing through me, I saw that my angel was gone. I scanned the flat campus, and like a mirage, she was gone. Through the trees, past the bike racks, in front of the buildings… nowhere. My heart sank.

Maybe I was sun sick. Because she was perfect. Best hallucination I've ever had. I frowned and turned back towards the engineering building. I had lab in a few hours.

* * *

I kept my eye out every day for a week. Each and every time I would step out of my sorority house, I would look for her. I never saw her. The first few days, I was eager. I spent a lot of extra time in the library, which actually worked out because I was finally studying the way I needed to for my finals. I'd have passed anyway, but this time it would feel like I really tried, which would be a miracle in and of itself. Maybe she really was an angel, sent from sweet baby Jesus Himself to get me to do well. That thought made me laugh. If the tiny holy infant had really sent her, He wouldn't have made her my personal perfection, the one creature on this planet I wanted to fuck until He brings down the wrath and we go to hell for our sinful, sexual ways.

I digress.

Every time someone walked by the table I'd picked right next to the entrance, I looked up hopefully. Each and every time, I was disappointed, and another pin poked a hole in my balloon, until I was utterly deflated. After five days of being a fucking idiot, I stopped. I convinced myself that my angel had really been a ghost, and I gave up in defeat.

That night, Tanya knocked on my door. She was President of our sorority, and I was her VP, and the two of us were thick as thieves and famous make-out buddies. We were legendary… the platinum blonde and the strawberry blonde going at it… No one ever complained.

"What in the hell is wrong of you?" she asked, plopping onto my bed before I could even so much as look up from my laptop screen. "You've been moping around and looking like you're searching for Waldo everywhere." She smirked at her own humor.

"Nothing," I said, still unwilling to talk about it. Tanya and I weren't serious in any sense of the word, and we often looked out for men for the other, but she had a bit of a jealous streak when it came to other women. "It's nothing, just busy with finals."

"Right," she said sarcastically, rolling her eyes at me. "I know it's more than that. But whatever you say, baby." She stretched out onto the bed, and I knew exactly what she wanted, and I knew that it was the one thing I needed right now. "Come on, relax, Rosie."

I smirked at her as I abandoned my final paper on bio-engineering, and crawled up on the bed with her. Before I could do anything else, Tanya's lips were crushed against mine, and I couldn't think or feel anything else but her. The woman always knew how to kiss me brainless, and God love her for it. Before I knew it, we were naked, and her mouth was on me, and then I REALLY couldn't think of anything else.

* * *

But later that night, when she was gone, my mind kept flickering back to my angel, my mirage. I had to find her. I had to. Somewhere deep down, it seemed essential.

The last day of finals, I had two tests, both of which were easy as pie thanks to all the extra studying I had been doing. I also had some packing to do, since I'd be moving out of the sorority house into summer housing, since I'd be staying and working on campus this year. I wasn't terribly thrilled about it, but it saved me from going back home to Texas to see my twin brother Jasper make out and dry hump with his girlfriend, Alice, on the couch all day long. I'd learned my lesson from Christmas break. Gag me.

So after I'd taken my celebratory shots of Jack for finally finishing this fucking semester, I got started in the with boxes. At some point in the evening, and about six shots into the evening, Tanya found me, and we made good use of her brand new double-ended dildo. We weren't going to see each other for an entire summer, and we needed to make the most out of our time together. Especially seeing as how it seemed likely I'd be celibate all summer. The only people who hung around on campus during summer were the lame kids who still wanted to have classes during their only free time. Insane.

When the night was over, Tanya kissed me passionately and told me that she'd visit… and bring along our new buddy. I bit down on her bottom lip hard and told her I couldn't wait, and then I was left alone for the summer.

The dorms I was going to be housed in were on the complete opposite side of campus, far away from the frat and sorority houses I knew like the back of my hand. These dorms were by all of the major department buildings, and it was the place I spent the least amount of time as possible.

It's not that I'm dumb. On the contrary. I get good grades most of the time, and I really was passionate about my degree: mechanical engineering. There are just so many other things I'd rather be doing than busy work and endless assigned readings. And the only reason I didn't like geeks was because they made me feel guilty about being lazy.

So with a heavy heart, the next morning, I moved into my assigned housing. It was light years away from my house; the carpet was dark blue, but it had been walked on so often by muddy shoes that it looked more brown, the walls looked like they really needed a good scrubbing to look even remotely white again, and I was more than a little afraid of the bed- it was at least a good four feet off the ground before you even hit the mattress. Sure, it would give me more space to keep all my shit, but _really?_

Gritting my teeth, I pulled in the first set of luggage I'd dragged along with me… up three flights of stairs, because apparently this school was too damn cheap to install an elevator. Grumbling to myself, I unloaded box after bag after garbage bag full of stuff into the dorm, which smelled oddly of cheese and faintly of Mr. Clean on the bottom floor.

It seemed pretty dreary. I knew that I'd need to do a lot of cleaning before I'd even consider walking around with bare feet, and there was no way in hell I'd ever let anyone fuck me against the wall. I could practically see the bacteria growing from here. Nothing seemed promising; not my social life, not my sex life, nothing. I felt my eyes mist up, feeling more than a little sorry for myself at this moment. I tried to think of happier things, like taking my baby out for a ride soon. I'd worked on my '67 Mustang until it was better than new, and I thought maybe tomorrow would be perfect to just drive, get the hell out of town for a day, and maybe hit up a bar or something.

I heard a knock on my door, and I turned to tell the nerd to get the hell out. The last thing I needed was a pair of black framed glasses telling me between hits with their inhaler that I would be OK, and that I was more than welcome to come talk to them if I ever needed, because we all know that's bullshit.

The snaky remark died on my lips as I turned to see my angel standing in the doorway, a giant bag of her own slung over her slim shoulders. My mouth watered. She was even more beautiful in person. Her skin was so pale it was like porcelain, and her mouth was pink and full. I noted that she bit her lip as she stood awkwardly at the threshold, like maybe she regretted knocking because I wasn't talking…

I wasn't talking! Now was my chance!

She beat me to the punch, pointing her toes together, rocking back and forth on her feet like maybe she was shy to even talk to me. "Um, hi, I'm Bella, and I'm your next door neighbor. I just wanted to introduce myself… Rosalie," she said, checking the name plate on the door. Extremely second grade of the RAs in this building… this particular gem had sea creatures on it; mine was an octopus with a cheesy toothy grin on it's body.

"Hi Bella," I breathed, watching her bite down on her bottom lip again. I wanted to do that… "It's nice to meet you. You… live next door?" I tried to keep the excited hopefulness out of my voice, but I think I failed miserably.

"Yeah, so… I'll talk to you later," she said, readjusting the bag on her shoulder, indicating it was heavy. Probably full of text books… but for once, I wasn't going to complain. That just made her more sexy, and infinitely more faceable. I wondered briefly if she had glasses…

When I finished with my inner musings, she was gone. I pouted as her door slammed hard behind her. Her name plate said "Isabella," and had a dolphin on it. I sighed. She didn't know it yet, but she was in so much trouble…

* * *

The next few weeks were spent vigorously (yet coyly) flirting with Bella. She was a shy and skitterish girl, and it took me three days to just get her to come into my room, but I finally broke down and we spent the next week hanging out in my room. She never let me into her room, and I wondered why, but I didn't want to push her. It was hard enough to get her to say anything to me period. And yet I never gave up. I wanted her.

"Rose, I brought along some popcorn," Bella announced as she knocked on the open door frame. I rolled my eyes at her and gestured for her to just come in. Honestly! The door was wide open. She was entirely too adorable. "What movie did you want to watch?"

I just know I got a wicked glint in my eye. "Well it's this movie a friend of mine told me about. It's called _Better Than Chocolate." _

"OK," she said happily, and gingerly sat on the edge of my bed like it was a bed of hot coals. "What's it about?"

"Uhhh… I don't know," I said, feigning innocence. "There must be chocolate in there someplace, though, and anything that's better than that… well… it's gotta be good!"

She laughed and my heart gave an erratic thump. I knew it was sneaky, but I had to find out about her attitudes towards same-sex diddling. She didn't even talk about guys to me, so I wasn't sure exactly where she stood on the topic. Maybe this would be the indicator.

I popped in the DVD and flung myself onto the bed next to Bella, but not before locking the door and dimming the lights… just in case…

I made sure to sit close to her, or at least as close as possible without seeming weird. I could feel the energy of my body reaching out to hers, but I wasn't sure if she felt the same tension as I did. I was electrically aware of her, and every single thing she did, I noticed. The way the pattern of her breathing changed, the way she licked her lips… Wait. I looked at the TV, and the two main characters were making out heavily. Oh shit. Was she turned on by this?

It was killing me to be patient. I had to wait until the first sex scene, where there would be naked boobs and fingering… and I'd never be able to handle it. My panties were drenched, just thinking about it being her and me, and all I wanted was to be between her thighs. Would she let me?

Bella whimpered softly beside me and shifted on the bed. The breathy, female moans on the TV weren't helping either one of us right now, I could tell.

And I couldn't take it any more. Three weeks of fingering myself at night to images of her face, of biting my tongue to keep from propositioning her, of trying to keep my fucking hands to myself were about to explode. No more.

Before either one of us really knew what was happening, I had pinned Bella to the bed and spread apart her thighs so I could rest between them. She let out a scream, which I covered with my mouth, and because I was desperate, I thrust my tongue eagerly into her hot little mouth, brushing my tongue against hers. My hand found itself cupping her breast, kneading the soft flesh as I felt her nipple harden in my palm. And I realized that she was kissing me back, and her hips were thrusting up against mine, and we were halfway to fucking already. My body and heart rejoiced as she whimpered into my mouth and ground herself hard onto my thigh.

It was becoming more and more necessary for oxygen, but I didn't want to pull away from her. This kiss was becoming too essential. My thumb brushed against her nipple again and she moaned into my mouth, her hands now insistently tugging in my hair. I pulled away from her mouth only to drop kisses on her neck, and I fought the urge to bite down on the juncture between her shoulder and neck. Her pulse was pounding through her veins.

"Oh God, Bella," I moaned, sampling her skin there with my tongue. "You have no idea how much I've wanted this…"

She froze beneath me, her hands tightening in my hair. Her lips were swollen, but they were tied up in a frown, something I did not like to see. "I'm sorry," she said. "I can't-" She scrambled up from the bed, not even caring that she physically pushed me aside to get up. "I have to go."

"Wait!" I said. "You… I mean you…" I was still slightly disoriented.

She bit her lip, and I wanted to moan. "I've never done anything like that before. And yes, it felt good. But you're my friend, Rose, and I can't-"

"Please, just give us a chance," I pleaded. "Come out with me tomorrow. I promise, I'll be on my best behavior. I just like you so much, Bella…"

Wow. I was in the fifth grade again. Because Rosalie Hale does not beg. But for Bella Swan, I would. Because she was too sweet and tasted way too good to ignore.

She frowned at me again, studying my face. After a long moment, she spoke. "Alright," she said. "One chance, Rose. I don't take these things lightly."

"I understand," I said, because I already knew Bella didn't make any decision lightly.

"I have to go," she said, but I could see her rub her thighs together gently, and I wanted to push her up against the door and fuck her with my fingers. Because shit, that would be just too perfect. "Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow," I grinned.

* * *

We agreed to meet at a local pizza place. Casual, low key, and familiar to both of us. I didn't want to freak her out. I was there ten minutes early, which made me seem overly eager, even to myself, but I didn't care. I was psyched for this. When Bella walked up to the front of the place three minutes after me, I grinned and fought the urge to plant a kiss on her mouth. Not here, not now… Maybe later? I could only hope.

"Hey," she said, her smile sweet. "I need to go get my car from the lot across campus after this, is that OK?"

"Why don't we get it now?" I suggested. "It's really crowded right now anyway." Sure enough, the entire place was packed, and the line to order was at least twenty people long.

Her eyes widened and she said yes quickly. Part of me wondered if it was because we were two women on a date, and she was nervous, or if she just had a phobia of crowds. I hoped for the latter.

We took my car, since it was several miles to the lot, and she told me about her day. She was taking extra classes this summer so she could graduate early, which made me sad, but I decided to not think about her leaving just yet. Despite the fact that she was my exact polar opposite, I really did love spending time with her, and not just because I wanted to suck hard on her nipples and make her ride my face.

We pulled into the lot, and she pulled out her keys out of her bag, which for once wasn't heavy laden with endless novels and text books. "It's just right over here," she said with a smile, and I followed her like a lost puppy across the full parking lot.

I love cars. I'm not going to lie. It's half the reason I want to be an engineer… someday, I'd love to design my own, from the ground up. It's not a practical dream, but it's my deepest one. My father taught me how to change the oil in our old Camaro when I was six, and ever since then, I'd been hooked. So it was not uncommon for me to check out cars the way that I'd also check out a potential bed mate.

Unfortunately, being in college meant that most cars on campus were old, rusty, and had expired plates. I was used to seeing shitty cars on a daily basis. But as we walked in comfortable silence, one in particular caught my eye, and not because I wanted to be thrown down on the hood and fucked on it, as was my fantasy with most cars. No. It was because this thing looked like it could barely hit thirty, much less fifty-five on the road. It would probably literally shake apart. The fenders had rust so bad there were holes in it, and the bumper looked like it had been beaten in with a baseball bat more than once. Even the window was duct taped to the frame, making me wonder how the driver could even see out of it.

"Holy shit," I laughed, and Bella looked over at me inquisitively. I pointed. "Look at _that _piece of junk!" Her gaze followed my finger, and for the second time in two days, she stiffened. I kept walking until I realized she hadn't kept up with me. "What?"

"That's my car," she said, her tone business-like, and my heart fell. The look on her face was one of pain and anger. "My dad bought it for me, it's one of the only things-" She stopped talking, because her throat was choked with tears. FUCK!

"I didn't mean-" I tried to backtrack, but it was too late. Damage had been done. I knew that she and her dad weren't particularly close, so this must have really meant something to her… I'm such a fucking dumbass.

"I'll see you around," she said quickly, not looking at me as she unlocked the door, but I knew that was probably the last time she'd ever talk to me. She slammed the door behind her as she turned the ignition, and the sickly car sputtered to life, the engine roaring weakly as she revved it a few times. She looked relieved, and I was sure that it didn't always start right away. I could have fixed it for her… but she was gun shy and I had gone off too soon. I sadly watched my angel pull away, as fast as she could in the old clunker, and my heart sank, knowing that was the end of that.

Fuck my life.

**Today, I was on a first date with this girl I've been talking to. I met her and she came with me so I could park my car in the student lot. On the way back, I saw a beat up car with its window duct taped up and exclaimed "Haha! Look at that piece of junk." It was her car. FML **


	2. The Aftermath

**A/N: I want to give TheMonkeySong credit for making me continue this. I mean, I was going to anyways, but she kept persisting, and here it is! This story has personal meaning to me... it reflects something in my life that I'm still dealing with. So... yeah. Hope you enjoy. :-)**

**Disclaimer: As if SM would write about girly love. *snort* Clearly, I am not her.**

My angel was gone.

The weeks passed by, and Bella ignored me. I felt like I should have been over it by now, but I wasn't. Her disappearance from our failed first date haunted me. I was constantly reminded of her, and not just because I had to walk past her (closed) dorm door every time I walked to the bathroom. Occasionally, I passed by, but she didn't offer so much as a tiny smile or even eye contact.

And it ate away at me. I had felt something between us, raw and honest and deep. Was it all in my head? I couldn't bear to think that it might have been. That kiss… I thought of it over and over, dreamt about it, fantasized about it… It was torture.

"Why do you care so much?" Tanya whined into the phone one balmy evening. I was sitting at my desk with my bare feet propped up on the window sill, a fan sitting in the window to get in some cool air. I was dying. "You guys kissed one time, big deal."

"It _was_ a big deal, and that's the point," I said, gritting my teeth. Tanya was sexy as hell, and a fucking good lover, but she was pissing me off. Her jealousy was grating at me. We never said we were exclusive, and God knew she was with others besides me.

"Well, you won't have to worry about it, because Kate and I are visiting you next weekend," Tanya said with a grin in her voice. Kate was a fellow sorority sister and the most hippy of any sorority girl I'd ever met. She loved her wheat grass and henna tattoos and her huge nose ring she made me watch her get a few months ago. Disgusting, by the way.

"It's amazing you got her away from Garrett," I said dryly, and Tanya laughed.

"No kidding, I thought I'd have to surgically remove her from him," she said with a snort. They were the most unlikely couple in the world- they met at a protest rally. She was protesting him, essentially, as a worker in a meat packing plant, and somehow… miraculously… they became a couple. He was straight laced but she loosened him up and I think she was trying to convince him to get a peace sign tattoo or some shit. I don't know, but she cracked me up and I was looking forward to see her. "We'll be there next Friday, OK?"

"Sure," I said, my spirits slightly lifted. Even though I was clearly nuts about Bella, the prospect of potential sex had me thrumming. My vibe wasn't doing it and I didn't have the time or energy, nor the desire, to try to seduce any of the geeks in my building. Most of them studied all the time anyway, I think I was the only one that had the TV on most nights, the rest of the building was so quiet.

I'd changed the batteries in my vibe like… five times already.

And every single time, I got off to thoughts of her. The scent of her skin, like vanilla, the fullness and taste of her lips…It drove me insane every single time.

I was a mess, and it was puzzling to say the least. If I had REALLY wanted to, I could have found someone else to fuck. There was a whole town out there of townies I could… Yeah, never mind. But still, I COULD if I had wanted to. And the only one I wanted was _her_.

I thought about calling up Emmett. He lived just an hour away and was the best (male) lay I'd ever had. He could make me breathless and dripping wet within minutes. We hadn't hooked up in several months, but he was first on my booty call list and I on his. The chemistry was undeniable, we just didn't work as a couple. He was a little too keg stand and I was a little too margarita, if that made any sense at all.

I was about to pick up the phone and hit call when there was a tiny knock on my door. I recognized that knock… could it be…?

The plain, mousy girl in my doorway was not my angel. I had noticed this girl before, seeing her tape things to people's doors, or walking busily- always with purpose. I surmised she was the RA.

"I'm Angela," she said, pushing up her horn-rimmed glasses. "And I'm your RA for the summer. I was supposed to do these rounds a few weeks ago, but you know how it is…" She laughed lightly, and I laughed along with her obligatorily. "We have a hall meeting tomorrow night, and it's mandatory, but don't worry, I have some fun games to play to get to know each other!" She sounded so damn eager, I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes. "So be sure to be there! Everyone will be."

Everyone? My interest was suddenly piqued. "Like, the whole hall?" I asked casually. Normally my indifference would be genuine.

"Yes!" she beamed, seemingly glad I hadn't slammed the door in her face as was typically custom with me and RAs. "So I'll see you then Rosalie," she said, clutching her stack of papers to her chest and skipping off. There was a future Girl Scout leader if I ever saw one.

"Bye Angela," I said, still playing the game, and gave a little wave. She grinned back at me, and I swung the door closed before she could hear my groan.

Tomorrow. I buried my face in the pillow, despite the heat, and sighed. I could see her tomorrow. But would she want to see me? Apparently I'd deeply offended her somehow. I knew that truck was hers, but it was a piece of shit. Could she not see that? Wasn't she used to jabs and jeers at the rust bucket? It wasn't worth losing her over.

A trickle of tear came down my cheek, but I chalked it up as sweat and rolled over onto my back.

Later. I'd think about it later. Right now I had… _tomorrow._

_XXXXXXX_

I spent all day getting ready like a fucking idiot. I felt completely inexperienced- like I was twelve again. Royce King had taken a lot away from me the summer I was thirteen- more than I'd ever wanted to give him- but at least it had taken away almost all of my shyness in my coming years. Until now. I was all about confidence; knowing exactly what I wanted and taking it. I moved past the bullshit (but not without a little therapy) and got on with life.

Now I knew what I wanted, but I had no idea how to get it. It pissed me off.

The heat was still stifling, so I pulled my hair up into a bun and off of the back of my neck. I hated it when I sweated. It's hard to feel sexy when you've got drips going down your back and tickling you. I peeled off the purple tank top I'd been wearing all day and replaced it with a threadbare white tank. Yeah, blatantly obvious, especially when my bra was black, but no one ever said I was modest or subtle.

There was five more minutes until the meeting was set to start. I heard doors starting to slam as the others got ready, and I grabbed my keys to join them. I didn't recognize anyone in the common room, just a couple of dorky looking guys who played ping pong obsessively, Angela, and a peppy looking girl who'd introduced herself as Lauren. I was pretty sure she was in Kappa Delta, our rival sorority, and I instantly disliked her on principle. Bella was nowhere to be seen.

Angela cleared her throat and began making all sorts of boring announcements about the shared laundry rooms and keeping the hallways clear and making sure that we attended campus events to ensure a fun summer! Kill me. My mind was on Bella. I wanted to see those soulful brown eyes and I know I hadn't just dreamed them.

One of the ping pong twins kept staring at me, the one with dark hair and crooked teeth, and I rolled my eyes in his general direction. He gave me a shy grin. Ugh. Men.

"Has anyone seen Bella Swan today?" Angela said with a slight frown on her face. She was checking through the roster of the building and seeing who wasn't there.

"Um, I think she was seeing her dad tonight or something," Ping Pong Twin Number Two volunteered. His smile was lecherous. I felt instantly protective.

"Thanks Mike," Angela said with a smile. He beamed like the tool that he was, and I rolled my eyes. Ugh. Losers. I was surrounded by losers.

So Bella was out with her dad? I hoped it wasn't for long… my entire being pined for her. I was getting ridiculous. I felt myself getting obsessive, and I didn't like the sensation. I wasn't that kind of girl.

I played with the ends of my hair for the rest of the meeting and tried to calm down my thoughts. I was going to call Emmett tonight. I needed a night out to get my mind off of things, and I knew he'd do just the trick. It was entirely too frustrating to feel like this; like there was an aching, pressing need inside me that I didn't know how to get rid of ever since she entered my life.

I raced upstairs after the meeting was finally and mercifully over, not caring about the heat. Distraction, distraction. Rosalie Hale did not pine. She moved on. "Hey Emm? It's Rose…"

XXXXXXXX

"So why haven't you called me?" Emmett said with that dimpled grin I could never resist. "It's been like a month."

"I know," I sighed, taking a sip of diet Coke through the bendy straw. "I've been busy." Only half a lie- my job on campus was time consuming at least; during the day I worked full-time in the admissions office.

He quirked his eyebrow. "Really? Huh."

I ate a French fry to busy myself. "What have you been doing?"

"Construction," he said with a grimace. He was the son of a wealthy doctor, so I knew he wasn't used to working, but in a sudden act of nobility, he decided to pay for college himself instead of asking for his parents help, so he was now apparently doing a summer of hard labor for it. And I couldn't deny he was getting even more sexier because of it. His muscles were out of this world and the deep tan he now had made his blue eyes sparkle that much more.

"Mmm, that sounds fun," I said with a wink, dipping my fry in ketchup and taking a slow bite. Emmett swallowed hard, and I knewexactly where his mind was now. Easy as pie with this one.

"Loads," he said with a smirk and a roll of his eyes. He was so handsome… for the first time in many, many weeks, I thought of something other than Bella and her doe eyes. I thought of this man in front of me who could give me pleasure and make me laugh too. That was so rare… Tonight, I'd just let myself enjoy it.

XXXXXXX

_Such _an amateur move, I thought to myself as I did my best to cover up my hickeys. Things went down exactly how I'd planned last night, and though the dark marks on my neck made me feel like I was a teenager again, it felt nice. Emmett was the perfect balance of gentleman and scoundrel, and it really was too bad we didn't make a good couple. I was hoping to see him again soon. I was still… frustrated, despite his best efforts, which I enjoyed and appreciated thoroughly.

As good as Emmett was at distracting me, his power seemed to only be in effect when he was actually in the same room as me, lips on my body, hands wandering everywhere, other appendages… in places… Now I was just alone and bumming hard.

It was too hot to wear a scarf, so I went the makeup route, though I was sure I'd have to retouch because the damn office didn't have air conditioning. They can put state-of-the-art speakers in the hundred year old building but not air conditioning? Bullshit.

It took me fully ten minutes to take care of the "rash" on my neck, so by the time I was done, I was running late for work. Esme would have my head- normally she was pretty relaxed, but I think she and the hubby had been having problems in the bedroom or something because lately she was lashing out at everyone. It was kind of like a former beauty queen going insane… it was fearsome to behold for sure. And I couldn't afford to lose this job. I didn't have a supportive family like Emmett did in case he needed help, I was pretty much in this alone.

Grabbing my keys, I practically sprinted out the door and down the stairs. The office wasn't too far from the dorms, but in the heat, everyone else was walking slowly and I just didn't have time to dodge people. I'd have to bring a bike next semester. I was visiting home in a month, maybe I could strap one to the back of my Mustang on my way back.

I was in such a rush that I didn't see the blur that was trying to rush past me on the stairs before I crashed head on into it. With one breath, I knew it was her. My angel. My Bella.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, picking up the books and papers I'd apparently made her drop all over the place. Despite my rush, I knelt to pick them up with her. It wasn't like in the movies, where the shy girl has twenty files that go scattering, but it was still a mess, and it was the first time I'd spent more than two seconds with her in a long time, so my heart was pounding out of my chest and making me swallow hard. The thin little tank top she was wearing, clearly braless, wasn't helping much either. It had little pink flowers all over it, and she just looked damned adorable. Delectable.

Our fingers brushed as we reached for the same book, and _then _it was like the cliché… our eyes locked and I couldn't breathe. "Bella," I whispered, lost in those eyes that haunted my dreams at night. Her face was brilliantly red, just like I loved- her tell all blush that gave her away in an instant. I could just picture that blush and how far down it went…

"I… um…" she stammered, snapping her hand back like I'd electrocuted her. "Well, I'll see you around," she said, snatching the paper from me and racing up the stairs. My heart sunk as she retreated, and I sat there in a daze until I heard her door slam faintly.

"Fuck," I muttered to myself, pissed that I'd just frozen and not seized the moment. Did I know what I wanted to do? Hell yes. Wrap her up in my arms and kiss her until we couldn't breathe. Did I know what I _could _have done to make her talk to me? No. I sighed in defeat and rushed off to work because really, life would suck if Esme caught me sneaking in the back entrance again.

**A/N II: Reviews make me write faster!**


	3. Hot N Cold

**A/N: You have no idea how many times I was about to delete this story. I had no inspiration, regretting continuing it... but I figure, why not give it a shot? It won't be a long fic but hopefully it'll be some fun. Thank you everyone who has sent encouraging reviews and expressed hope that I'll update. Without them, I wouldn't keep going.**

**Disclaimer: I write lady love. SM would faint. What do you think?**

The knock on my door that evening was small and timid. But I was sick of hope. I was tired of waiting patiently and pining over someone who clearly didn't want me. I sat my magazine down on my bed and waited to see if she'd just plain go away. I was Rosalie fucking Hale. I didn't do this shit. Not anymore. Not ever again.

There was silence at the door, and I thought she'd gone away, so I picked up my magazine and browsed through ways to make my skin glow sans the sun. My uncle had gotten skin cancer a few years ago, and I was finally starting to believe tanning wasn't the best solution. So I brushed up on how to make sure the stuff wouldn't smear until I heard another tiny knock on the door.

"Goddamn it," I muttered, and threw the magazine across the room. It landed with a loud thunk against the wall as I marched to the door, unlocking it and flinging it open. "What?" I said, jaw tight.

My angel... err... Bella stood in the hallway, frozen, eyes wide. "Um... is this a bad time?" she asked, looking around my shoulder, maybe to see if there was someone else inside.

"Maybe," I smarted off, arms crossing over my chest. "Do you need something?"

"I just... I just wanted to apologize," she said, and then I felt like a huge bitch. "I know I was rude and I wanted to explain why."

"I'm listening," I said, my heart softening but my voice not, my lips twisted impatiently as I leaned against the doorframe.

"Would you like to come to my room? I have some brownies I made downstairs..." She bit that plump bottom lip nervously, her hands clasped behind her back, her foot turning to the side like a nervous school-girl. My heart softened even more. Goddamn it.

"Fine," I said, turning to grab my keys off the hook next to the door and following to her room.

I'd never been here before. Each time we'd spent time together was in her room, on my bed, in my safe spot. Not hers. It was just as tidy as I'd expected, though with less pastel colors. Bella apparently liked brown. A lot.

I gingerly sat on the edge of her chocolate brown comforter, and cursed myself when I noticed it was the same color as her eyes. Bella paced a bit in front of me before perching on her desk chair. It was the same hideous blue as the carpet.

"Listen, I behaved horribly," Bella finally spat out, staring at the toes of her shoes. "I'm really sorry Rosalie."

I sniffed. "I guess I just don't understand why you reacted like that. It's just a car."

"It was a gift from my dad," she said softly. "You don't understand Rose." She finally looked up at me, big brown eyes forming with tears. "He's- he's not a very open guy. We barely know each other really. And..." She let out a huge sigh. "He's dying Rose."

My mouth dropped open, I had no idea what to say.

Bella kept going. "So... this truck is the first and probably the last gift he'll ever give me. I know it's a piece of crap, I hate the thing really. It's just that it stupidly means a lot to me. It hit the wrong nerve and I overreacted, I'm really sorry." Her voice cracked at the last word.

"Oh Bella," I whispered, and before I knew what I was doing, I was standing up to gather her into my arms. Her breath hitched and I felt her body start to wrack with sobs as her hands curled around my forearms. I'd never held someone as they cried before- hell, I barely cried myself- so I wasn't sure what to do. I felt as awkward as my dad was when my mom had some sort of personal crisis. Hold her stiffly, pat her on the head, and hope it all stops soon...

Emotions and I did not get along particularly well. And still, I felt the urge, the need to hold her.

After an excruciating amount of time, she sniffled and pulled back. "I'm sorry," she said in a watery voice, and I didn't kill the urge I felt to wipe her errant tears away with the back of my thumb; I gave in.

"Don't apologize, that's horrible," I soothed. "I'm sorry, I mean I had no idea..."

"And I should never have punished you for that," she said, voice still wobbling but firmer. "Can you forgive me?"

It was frustrating. All I wanted to do was scream NO to her, to tell her to leave me the fuck alone because all this screwing with my head was really starting to irritate me. But I knew, the second I looked into her eyes, and I mean really looked into her eyes, that there was no other way, no other option.

"Yes."

* MD *

Things were shaky with Bella, but slowly we started to rebuild our friendship. I was cautious, mainly because the last thing I wanted was to get caught up in the shitstorm of feelings and uncertainty I'd felt before. It was all so unlike me, I barely even understood what had happened. I couldn't let it happen again.

Per her request, we didn't go out on any official dates and nor did I try and kiss her like I so wanted to. We didn't hang out much except for the occasional lunch or dinner in the dining hall, and I never saw her on the weekends. I learned she was going to visit her dad to, in her words, spend as much time with him as she had left.

It truly was very sad and my heart went out to her. Even though I wasn't necessarily close to my parents, I still knew they were healthy and present if I ever needed. Bella never spoke about her mom, so I wondered if she had died too, or if she had left at some point.

And then Tanya called me on a Wednesday night crying. "Oh God, Rosie, I think... I think I'm pregnant."

Before I could stop myself, I replied dryly, "But we used a condom darling."

"Shut the fuck up Rosalie, I'm serious!" she wailed. I was surprised, just because Tanya was much more famous for going for chicks over dicks. I knew this very well. "I'm seriously like three weeks late."

"Did you take the pee test?"

"I'm waiting for the results now." She sniffled. "What if it's positive?"

"Then... go see the doctor?" I didn't know much about babies. I was barely around them and I didn't necessarily have the most maternal instincts. I was pro-choice but if Tanya wanted to keep it that was, well, her choice.

"Yeah." Her voice was distant, not like my Tanya at all. "Can you just be on the phone with me, while I wait?"

"Of course honey." No matter what, Tanya was my best friend. "Whose is it?"

"I don't know," she said fretfully, and we were silent for another two minutes before her timer went off. "I don't know if I can look at this," she sobbed. "I don't want a baby, I don't want an abortion, I don't..."

She was silent again.

"Tanya?" Silence. "T?" Nothing. "TANYA!"

"It's- I mean... you're going to be an aunty."

"Does this mean we're going to the Maury show?" I quipped pathetically.

* MD *

"What do you think she'll do?" Bella frowned as she handed me a bottle of water from her mini-fridge. "She's so young..."

"I don't know," I sighed, twisting the cap open and waiting for the little cracking sound. It was way too hot to be doing anything but what I was doing now, which was laying spread eagle on the ground, in the shadows, in front of a floor fan. Curse old buildings with no A/C... "I'm worried though."

"I'll bet," Bella said, popping open her own water bottle. I tried very hard to ignore the little beads of sweat dripping down her bare chest until they soaked into the green band of her tank top. Being "just friends" was not working out for me so well. Bella continued, oblivous to my ogling. "I went to high school with a girl that had a baby when we were still in school. It was difficult for her to say the least."

"Well, Tanya's older," I suggested logically.

"Maybe in years..." Bella trailed off, clamping her lips together in a grimace.

I snorted. "I guess you're right. I have no idea what she'll do but something tells me she's going to keep it."

"Well if that makes her happy, then good for her. Life's too short to have regrets..." Bella got that faraway look in her eyes again, like every time life or death was brought up. She had confided that her father, who was diagnosed with prostate cancer just six months prior, was taking a turn for the worse, and after she got done with work on Friday she was going home to see him and take a week to care for him. I got this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that it was to say goodbye.

Bella cried a lot nowadays. You could see it in her face, the paleness of her skin, the dark circles under her eyes. I wondered why she was here instead of there, why she only visited her dad on weekends instead of spending what was likely to be their last summer together with him. It was still very puzzling to me, but I was too chicken-shit to ask, and obviously she never brought it up.

I cleared my throat, hoping to ease a little tension. "You think you want to go for a walk with me tonight? When it's cool out?"

"Oh I heard there was a man on campus harrassing women at night," Bella said in a scandalous voice. "And we have to be safe." Ever the Cop Kid.

"Ugh, I'm just thinking of how fucking hot it is," I moaned. "Maybe I need a cold shower."

Bella giggled, and I felt that damn tugging at my heart again. When did it change from only making myself happy, to finding happiness in her joy?

Then she shocked me. "Maybe we could go skinny dipping in the fountain."

I could only think of her naked, running around campus. God, I was sex-starved. "I-I mean... I- I-"

Bella burst into another round of giggles, my mouth still hanging open like the Grim Reaper. "I'm just teasing," she laughed, hands now splayed over her shaking belly. My mouth snapped closed, about to form some biting retort when she added, "But maybe we could go swimming at the pool, I think we have access."

"Oh, we do," I said quickly, trying very hard not to think of the evening Tanya, Kate and I had utilized the after-hours swimming sessions. I also tried very hard not to think of Bella wet. Because Bella wet would make _me _wet. And not in a chlorine and water kind of way. "Wanna go?"

"Um..." Bella paused for a long moment, fingertips on her bottom lip. Goddamn, I wanted to bite that bottom lip. "Sure. Let's go."

* MD *

It was incredibly hard for me to keep my eyes to myself as we got ready in the locker room. There were a few other women wandering around, some wrapped in towels shyly, some bold and nude, but the pool was quiet when we stepped out onto the deck.

I'd half expected Bella to wear something plain and modest- every part of her seemed to shout out "shy"- so I was shocked when she pulled off her towel to reveal a bright blue bikini. I should probably also mention the top was strapless and held together with a silver round loop so you could see the gorgeous pale skin of her chest and just a hint of cleavage. "Oh God," I whispered. She was toned, but soft, rounded in all the places she should be. Creamy white skin, legs a mile long even though she was a good five inches shorter than me...

I was staring.

Ogling, actually.

Bella cleared her throat. I guess I didn't realize she'd been talking. "Ready?" she asked, tilting her head to catch my gaze. Her eyebrows raised and I caught a hint of a blush on her chest and cheeks as we made eye contact.

"Um... yeah," I said, and dropped into the pool before I could make a bigger idiot out of myself. I don't DO dumbstruck and lusty. I did aloof and knowing- they all want me. This unsure thing drove me nuts.

Bella splashed beside me and I made the mistake of looking over. It was seriously a bom-chicka-wah-wah moment, like the whole slow motion-wet-throwing her hair back-mesmorizing thing. Bella was smoking hot. Not my angel right now. The devil.

"Rose is something wrong?" I snapped to attention at her voice. "You're actually really... spacy."

"No, I'm good, it's fine," I said, attempting to act cool, before I kicked off the wall to do lazy back strokes. There were only two others in the pool at the moment, and they were on the opposite side, leaving Bella and I to the last lane. We swam, passing each other by, and I finally found myself relaxing as I did the back stroke slowly. I stared up at the ceiling, giant lights above me, and tried to zen out as best I could.

Of course, zenning out meant by the end of my lap, I hadn't turned and I ended up jamming my hand into the wall. "SON OF A BITCH!" I screamed, slamming my back to the wall, clutching one hand against the slippery tile so I could examine my newly throbbing fingers.

"Oh no, is there blood?" Bella asked as she doggy paddled towards me. "I hate blood." She bit her lip.

"No, there's no blood," I said crankily. It was really beginning to ache. "But I think I should get out, it hurts bad."

"Yeah, let's get you taken care of," Bella agreed, and we were met by the lifeguard at the ladder. I noticed Bella frowned a lot at him, and muttered something under her breath as he wrapped my fingers for me.

* MD *

I took a huge bite of my spinach salad and watched Bella across from me. She was poking at her bento with her chopsticks, and she'd barely touched a bite. "What's wrong B?"

"Nothing," she said quietly. "I'm leaving in the morning instead of tomorrow night."

That couldn't be good. "Do you need anything?" I asked, not wanting to probe but feeling the need to say something, anything. "I can maybe do something..."

"No, it's OK, I really don't think there's anything that can be done," she dismissed, and as if her expression wasn't pained enough, a dark shadow passed over her features. "Your lifesaver is here."

"Huh?" I turned to see who she was talking about when I saw the lifeguard from the pool earlier walking towards us with the cheesiest grin on his face that I'd ever seen. At the time, I'd been in so much pain I hadn't noticed, but he was incredibly hot. Like, twelve-pack abs kind of hot.

"How's my patient doing?" he smirked, kneeling at the side of my chair so we were at face level. He toyed with the bandage on my finger.

"Fine," I smiled. I mean come on. He was hot. "You're... Felix. Right?"

"And you are Rose," he grinned. "And... oh I'm sorry, I forgot..."

"Bella," she snapped and set down her chopsticks with a small clank. "Listen I gotta get up early Rose, so I'll see you when I get back."

"But-"

"I'll be OK walking back, the dining hall's not far or anything." Her tone was entirely too snide for my liking. She stood quickly, her chesnut hair flying behind her as she went.

And with that, she was gone.

"What got up her ass?" Felix asked with amusement in his voice.

_GODDAMN IT!_ "I have no fucking clue."

* MD *

**Rose,**

**Sorry, I remembered something I had to do just then. I'll text you if I find the time. See you next week.**

**-Bella**

I read the scrap of torn out notebook paper that had been taped to the outside of my door three times before I folded it up and threw it in the trash. I was completely at a loss.

I hadn't done anything wrong, I couldn't think of anything I'd said that would have upset her. I was being so careful with her.

Well I was done with that shit. If she wanted to come to me, she could come to me. If she wanted to explain why the fuck she was acting like I had the plague, she could go ahead and do that. But I was done. So fucking done with this pining shit. No more.

I picked up my cell phone and dialed the new number added to it just an hour ago. "Hey Felix? Yeah, it's Rosalie. Uh huh... yeah. I was wondering what you're up to tomorrow night..."

**A/N II: Leave me love! :-) Whatcha think? Theories?**


	4. Shift

**A/N: I will admit... I based Felix off of a recent experience. *laughs* Yeah. Not fun. **

**Anyways, this is a turning point for our ladies... I never thought I'd do what I did... but I did and that's that. I'm so vague. Haha. This hasn't been beta'ed so it's all on me! I needed to get my writing juices flowing again so I just wrote this and am posting it for inspiration more than anything.**

**Disclaimer: I get no money off of this. Clearly.**

Felix was a terrible lay. Like, stare up at the ceiling, count the seconds til it's over, definitely no orgasm kind of terrible. The second I'd stepped into his apartment, it was pretty apparent he wanted me, but once he practically rammed his tongue down my throat, I wasn't amused. I humored him, panting and moaning in the appropriate places, checking under my nails when he was hovering over me, slobbering all over my neck, pretending his tiny peen aroused me. Seriously. His dick was as long as my palm is wide.

Not good.

"Wow," he panted as he flopped on the bed next to me, clearly much more pleased at his performance than I was. I didn't even blink as I stared up at the patterns in the ceiling panels. I was pretty sure I could just make out the shape of a dragon and a racecar. "Rosie baby, you were fantastic."

"Well that's good," I said dully, and rolled over, picking up my pants off the ground.

"Baby, where are you going?" he pouted, catching my wrist and attempting to pull me back onto the bed. "I'm not done with you yet."

"I've got work SO early," I lied, grabbing my mint green tank off the ground. "Really, Felix, I need to get some sleep."

"Then sleep next to me," he said in the single most suggestive tone I'd ever heard, and I heard a whole lot of suggestion. "I promise I don't snore."

He'd also promised me a monster cock and a meeting with God. I didn't think so. "No really, Fe, I've gotta go." I stood, fully clothed, and gave him a half smile. "Thanks for the evening, I'll see you around."

I think he finally caught on to my attitude, but he didn't try and chase me down either as I walked out of his apartment, ignoring the wolf-like gazes of his roommates who had apparently heard the travesty in the bedroom and thought it was more exciting than it actually was. "Hope to see you around again soon," one particularly smarmy looking guy said just before I slammed the door in their face.

I shuddered, eager to get away and forget that latest mistake. I knew exactly why I'd gone and done it, and I think that had disturbed me more than the pitiful sex.

Bella texted me just as I was climbing into my car to go back to the dorms. **Just letting you know I got here safe and I'm with Dad. It's not looking good. I don't think he has much longer. Have a good weekend. Bella, xxoo**

The guilt crushed me like a ton of bricks. I had known exactly what I was doing- fucking Bella out of my system with Felix. The problem was, it just made it worse. The more he fucked, no matter how poorly, and probably especially because it was so bad, the more I wanted her. The more I thought about what awful thing I'd just done, the more I realized that it felt like I'd cheated on her even though we had no ties to each other whatsoever.

I resolved that then and there I would talk to her the moment she got back. That is, if the moment was right. If her father had just died or something, I didn't want to be all nosy and inquisitive about what _we_ were. She was easily the scariest person I'd ever met, and I meant that in that she ran like a little bunny every time it seemed like I was getting closer.

But I had something in her eyes that night, I had realized hours later. She was... angry. Upset about something. Dare I say, _jealous? _It almost seemed like too much to expect from her, and yet, it was the only thing that made sense.

I shot her a text before I went to sleep that night, hoping she was awake. **I hope everything is OK, let me know if I can do anything for you, OK? -Rose**

That was the best I could do for now. Sit on my hands and wait.

Ughhhh, I hated this.

* MD *

"So why do you think she affects you so much?" Emmett asked again. I growled into the reciever. Since when was he a therapist?

"I don't know," I snapped. I flopped my head off the end of my bed, staring at my freshly painted toenails, which were up in the air above me. I was deathly bored, and deadly angry at Emmett for making me explore my _feelings. _I wasn't one for introspection. There was too much crap in there, stuff I didn't want to even remember let alone think about.

"Rose, I think you do know," Emmett said, and if he had been sitting next to me, I would have punched him in the gonads for being right. I did know and that was what was bothering me.

"Fine!" I burst out so loud I think the guy in the dorm three doors down heard me. "I do know, OK? Satisfied?"

I could practically hear his smirk. "As long as you know..."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I growled, and I hung up without saying goodbye. My hands covered my face and I rubbed it vigorously, in frustration more than anything. I hadn't heard from Bella in several days, and it was driving me up the wall. I wanted to hear her voice, or at least have some sort of contact with her. Anything. But knowing she was with her dad, maybe mourning... I knew I couldn't bother her. If she needed me... like I hoped she'd need me... she'd contact me.

The conversation with Emmett rolled around in my head, until I drifted off to sleep, curled upside down on my bed, my feet propped up on a pillow, hair falling off the end of the bed.

* MD*

I woke up only a half an hour later when my phone rang, the phone buried under my back and the vibrations surprising me, lightly tickling me. "Holy!"

I picked it up and nearly did a fist pump when I saw it was Bella.

"Hello?" I said in a breathy, soft voice. Much more breathy than I would have preferred. "Bella?"

"Oh Rose," Bella sighed. My Bella-buzz was busted. Something was off in her voice. Tired. Defeated. Sad.

"Bella... is...?" I couldn't bear to say it.

"Yeah," she whispered. "He's gone."

* MD *

I drove to Bella's hometown that evening in a mad rush. I'd never been to Forks before, but it wasn't hard to find. There's only one road coming in, and only one going out. I pulled up in front of the house she'd told me the address to, and got out without even thinking about what I'd say or do. All I knew was she'd asked for me in her time of need, and so here I was.

There were a lot of other cars parked in the neighborhood, far more than what was probably normal. Neighbors. Coworkers. Friends. Family. Bella blew right past them as I walked through the door, flinging herself into my arms. "I'm so glad you're here," she whispered, clinging to me.

If it had been anyone else, literally anyone in the entire world, I would have flinched. Turned to stone. Patted her politely on the back and then moved away.

But in that moment, I found myself clinging back just as hard, grasping for her, needing her touch just as much as she needed mine.

"Can we...?" she asked, looking up the stairs after we pulled back. People were milling about, and I could sense that it was stressing her out.

"Yeah," I said, and followed as she took the stairs up two at a time, glad to get away from the people who didn't know this strange blonde girl currently going upstairs with. I didn't feel like small town gossip, even though I'm sure the thought that I might be attracted to her was probably completely off their radar.

Bella's room was tiny, and her bed was even tinier. I thought dorm beds were a pain in the ass, but that was nothing compared to little twin pushed against the wall, no headboard, nothing but a faded old quilt covering it. The rest of her room was the same, a little faded, a little worn, a little antique. "It's not much but..." she began, but I grabbed her hand, and she stopped abruptly.

"Bella, I didn't come here just so you can apologize for your bedroom. I came here to be with you cuz..." I couldn't finish.

Her fingers squeezed around mine and she gave me a sad smile. "Thank you."

"Always."

* MD *

There were a lot of people to talk to after we went back downstairs. Bella had taken a nap, and I had tooled around on my phone, pretending I wasn't watching her as she slept. She was peaceful when she slept. The worry lines disappeared, her mouth upturned slightly, not into a smile, but no longer the pained grimace she was wearing earlier. Like she was going to cry at any moment, but not in front of anyone else.

I looked around the little house while Bella was in a deep conversation with one woman I'd been introduced to as her dad's best friend's widow, Sue, who wasn't too friendly to me but seemed kind to Bella. The house was modest, dark, and comfortable. I walked around her living room, next to the tiny little potbelly stove in the corner, looking ats all the pictures of Bella when she was a child, and they made me smile internally. There was one of her wrinkling her nose at a fish she'd apparently just caught, holding it stiffly away from her body. Pictures from when she was a kid, as a little baby with little ringlets around her face. But no one else. Not even of her father and herself. Just Bella, growing up. The newest one was when she'd graduated high school, blushing like crazy and holding her diploma like it was gold next to her truck. The truck I'd once insulted.

This whole time, my mind was working a million miles an hour, taking everything in. I was beginning to understand the quiet, mysterious, and to be honest perplexing Bella. She didn't want to show weakness. Probably because of her father. She had to be strong for him. And she didn't let her guard down in front of anyone.

And yet today she let me in. She never reached for my hand, and only hugged me that one time when I got to her house. But she kept close to me physically, making sure I was with her when she greeted and thanked all of her guests, assuring them she would be fine and that she just needed some time to grieve on her own.

"Do you want something to eat?" Bella asked when she finally said good night to the last person. I realized with a startle she had no family left behind. She hadn't introduced me to anyone as "aunt" or "cousin" or "grandpa." Did she really have no one else?

"Um, yeah, I could eat," I replied, going through my memory and seeing if I could recall her ever mentioning another family member. I came up short.

"Well I've got plenty of casserole," Bella laughed, peering into the full refridgerator, though her laughter was shrill and shaky. "Tuna noodle or something with stuffing in it..." It looked like every family in Forks had contributed a meal to Bella. There were marked dishes on every level. It was obvious many people cared for the Swan family.

"Bella, let me," I said, getting up from the stool in the corner, reaching out to grab the plate from her. Her arms retracted, stubborn as ever, and began serving helpings of food to go into the microwave. "Bella..."

"It's fine, I can... I can do this... I..." Bella's eyes were full of unshed tears as she slammed down a spoonful of tuna noodle, punctuating her frustration. My hand ran over hers, feeling her fingers relax over the spoon.

"Bella," I whispered.

She stepped back slowly, and then it all came apart. One tear dropped and I pulled her into my arms as one tear became twenty and then a hundred and she lost it, shaking in my arms as she fell apart. I could feel every inch of her melt, like her entire facade was gone and now she was left with nothing but the emotions she was truly feeling. Nothing but the fact that her dad had just died.

I cried with her after I'd guided her to the couch, wrapping her into my arms, or rather, letting her wind herself around me until it was hard to tell where she ended and I began. I stroked her hair and let the tears fall, my heart breaking for her. She cried herself to sleep, her face sticky with tears and snot, buried in my neck. I didn't mind one bit. For once, I wasn't thinking of myself. I wasn't thinking of anything but her.

How this was all suddenly so much more than wanting her.

**A/N II: Short chapter. But I think there's a lot there. What do you think? Let me know!**


	5. Fixer Upper

**A/N: I wrote this partly before, and partly after two people very important to me both lost their fathers on the same day. And so writing this suddenly felt very different than what I started out writing, simply because it felt more real. My heart goes out to them right now, and for anyone else who has lost a father. I know I'm lucky... **

**As always, this is unbeta'd, just little old me writing a little old story.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do own a rusty old truck.**

I woke up forgetting where I was and who was beside me. It took me a moment to get my bearings... Forks... _Bella._

She was warm in my arms, facing me in her tiny twin bed. My arm was around her, resting on the swell of her hip, her arms folded in between us. She was still completely out of it, even my shifting in the bed didn't disturb her, and I wanted to make sure it stayed like that. She needed her rest.

I regretfully pulled away, sliding out of the bed and tucking Bella into the covers. She stirred for a moment, but didn't wake, and I used the bathroom adjoining her room before I crept down the stairs as quietly as I could with the creaky wooden stairs under my feet.

The living room wasn't very large, but there was a big, soft couch that I sunk down into, rubbing my temples in circles. I was in over my head, and yet I didn't want to run. This was the first time in my life that I hadn't run at the first, or twenty-seventh, sign of trouble, and I knew it had to mean something. I desperately wanted to seek Emmett's counsil, but a quick glance at the clock told me it was far too early, especially on a Sunday morning. I toyed with my phone, texting out a few words, deleting them, and typing them in again, unsure of what I wanted to say, but in the end I just cancelled the message and crossed my arms over my chest.

It was quiet in the house, nothing but the tick-tock of the clock on the wall to fill the silence. I decided that Bella would be hungry when she woke up, and though I had no idea when that would be, I had to be prepared.

The fridge was chock full of food, but mostly dinner type foods. Cooking wasn't my specialty, but I could at least have a cereal bar waiting for her, and maybe a fruit salad...

I was still chopping up an apple when Bella's bedroom door opened. "Rose?" she called, though her voice sounded cracked, like someone who was sick or had been crying her heart out. And I think we all know which one it was.

"I'm in the kitchen Bella," I replied, sucking the juice of the fruits off my thumb as I set the knife down. She was still in the PJs she'd changed into last night, her hair standing on end, but only on one side. She was adorable. And so sad looking.

"What is this?" she asked, pointing to my assembly of chopped and sliced fruit, still in individual piles on the cutting board.

"Breakfast," I shrugged. "I thought you might be hungry."

Bella burst into tears. My expression must have been one of alarm because she was immediately apologizing. "No, this is so nice, thank you, thank you," she cried, little sobs still escaping her throat. "No one's ever... I mean this is just so..."

I pulled her into my arms, rocking her slowly, whispering "shhh," as I held her. She melted into me, but this time her tears didn't last the morning; after a few hiccups, she was done and pulling back. My arms mourned the loss of her.

"Thank you," she rasped, and grabbed a piece of mango off the board and popped it into her mouth. "I really appreciate you being here. I know I've been... horrible... to you but it means so much to me that you came."

I chuckled. "Well neither of us has exactly been innocent," I admitted. "But there was no other place I could be than here with you."

Her eyes lit up a little when I said that, and I took a step between us, closing the gap. She didn't move away, so I took another step until our bodies were just a few inches apart. There was definite tension between us, but I was afraid to act on it. What if I freaked her out? Even though I'd gotten us this far, I needed her to do it first, I needed for her to make the first move...

She seemed to read my mind as she pulled me close, shocking the hell out of me. She was much shorter than me, and her fingers traced my jaw, I found myself bending over to make my mouth level with hers. Her eyes were darting from mine to my mouth and back, like she was trying to decide, like she was fighting with herself.

Her lips were like an electric shock against mine, so soft and warm against mine. It wasn't like we were kissing exactly, it was more like pressure, but even so, she was initiating it, and it felt like a miracle. Hesitantly, my hands moved to her waist, pulling her body closer, and her arms wrapped around my neck, pressing our lips more firmly together, moving slowly against mine.

She gasped a little as my togue darting out to trace her lips, silently begging her to part them, and I took the opportunity to slide my tongue between her lips. She let out a little whimper, which was my downfall. My hands automatically slid into her hair, long luxurious strands between my fingers, keeping my lips molded to hers. Her fingers ran over my hands, grabbing my wrists and holding on for dear life, trapping me to her.

The kiss was endless, sweet with the promise of more, and my heart was racing when I finally pulled back for air unwillingly. "Bella..."

"This time I'm not apologizing," she gasped. "I can't, I wanted it too much to regret it."

A pathetic little moan escaped my throat, one of happiness and hope that I really hadn't ever expressed before. "Thank God," I whispered, and kissed her again, softly this time, not wanting to break the spell. Her lips were just as eager against mine now, and before I knew it, I had her back against the counter and her hands firmly on my ass, pulling me closer.

I thought I was going to have a heart attack or something. She was perfection in my arms, even better than I'd ever imagined, and I'd imagined a lot. Her mouth, which was so timid with words, wasn't timid now. It was like everything we'd been holding back had been let loose, the dam had been broken, and we were pouring everything into the kiss.

The only thing that could have pulled me away was reality, and it hit far too soon, when her phone rang. I tugged on her bottom lip, pulling it through my teeth before breaking the kiss. Her eyes were so dark and I just wanted to kiss her again, but the ringing was so harsh through the kitchen, far too loud.

"It... it might be Sue," she gasped. "It might be important."

I nodded and pulled back, hating the loss of her warm body against mine. She picked up the phone, and I loved to note that she sounded breathless. It seemed that it was Sue, and Bella went into a stream of mumbled affirmations and "mm hmm"s. I ate fruit as I watched her talk. She was apparently against something Sue was saying, because she kept saying,"No, that's not what I want to do. Please, don't ask me to do that." She shot me a helpless look and I walked over to gather her back into my arms, seeing that she was about to fall apart again. After a few minutes she hung up and stepped out of my arms.

"They want me to talk at the funeral," she finally said. "And I don't think I can do that. I know everyone thinks I'm strong, but that's the one thing I can't-" Her voice broke then, and my arms immediately sought her again. She sighed and melted against me. "Thank you."

"Don't need to thank me," I said, surprised at how my throat ached, how thick my voice was. Her pain was killing me; knowing I couldn't do a thing to take it away was the worst thing I'd ever felt in my life. "What can I do?"

"You're already doing more than I ever could have asked for," she admitted, and brushed my bottom lip with her thumb. I fought the urge to kiss her again. I had no doubt she'd wanted to kiss me earlier. But when the emotions this strong, this diverse, I couldn't risk it snapping. The situation was tenuous and the last thing I needed to do is wreck it with enthusiasm. "I'm going to need to see Sue today, she is pro at planning things, and she was close to my dad. She knows how to handle this. Um... you can come along if you want or you can wait here, I won't be gone long."

"Whatever you need," I promised her. "I'll do whatever you need me to do."

"It's selfish, but I need you to be my anchor right now," she admitted, and my heart swelled. "I want to know I can come home to you and know that you will hold me..." Her face flushed a deep red. "I'm sorry-"

"Don't fucking apologize," I laughed, grinning at her. "I'll be here. I'll be your rock. I want to be the one you come home to."

I didn't fail to notice she shivered a little at my words. "I'll be back in a few hours, OK?"

I silently nodded, and she ran back upstairs to shower and get dressed.

I sat on the couch, thinking about what I could do for her while she was gone. The house was unfailingly tidy, probably thanks to Bella's visits, and I could only guess Sue as well. I pulled out my phone and texted Emmett with my dilemma. I knew it was odd to keep going to him over this issue, especially considering how many times we'd slept together, but he was truly a great friend and I needed a friend in this moment.

I got a text back just as Bella was headed out the door. Apparently Sue was picking her up, because I heard her say "Hi," and slam the door on a running car. _Do something nice for her. Show her you really care._

That was it! An idea struck like lightning and I was typing quickly in response. _Emmett, you are a bloody genius! _I texted back, and jumped up from the couch. I would fix up Bella's truck. I didn't know how to do everything, and I didn't have the tools to do many of the things it probably needed- I couldn't do body work or a bang up paint job- but I could do little things. My dad had taught me well, and I had confidence in my work.

The rusty old thing was sitting in her driveway, and I pulled up the garage door with a little effort. It was dirty- clearly Bella didn't come in here often, and with his illness, I was sure her father hadn't in a long time either. The stale air swirled into my lungs as I took a quick survey of the space. There was a big work bench that was covered in bottles of oil and screw drivers; odds and ends that every person would have in their garage. The floor was littered with boxes, and there was a long white deep freezer in one corner. I remembered the photos, and wondered if Bella's dad caught a lot of fish, or maybe went hunting.

There was a blue, slightly rusted tool box sitting on the end of the work bench, and it was there that I found the tools I needed. I carried it, surprised at just how heavy it was, and set it in front of the truck. I lifted up the hood and began my work.

* MD *

When Bella got back, I was on my back, looking up at the bottom of the rust bucket I had re-nicknamed The Red Monster in the hopes of becoming less disdainful of it. I saw her flip flops headed my way, and I shimmied out from under the front of the truck. I looked like a royal mess; I didn't need a mirror to tell me that. My hair was shoved up into a messy ponytail, I knew my fingernails were covered in oil and dirt, and my face and chest were flushed from hard labor. And yet the look she was giving me when I sat up... made me feel like I was a fucking goddess.

"What are you doing?" she whispered, gesturing to the open hood.

I looked up at her with a small smile. "Just working on The Red Monster for a bit." I wiped off some of the grease on my hands with an equally dirty rag, moving to stand.

"But... why?" Her voice cracked, and for a moment I was afraid she was going to be mad at me for working on her truck withouth her permission. I realized with a bolt of blind panic that she had been extra sensitive about her truck because her dad had given it to her... shit.

"I wanted to do something nice for you..." I mumbled.

She flew into my arms in the next moment, her lips finding mine. The panic melted away into what I could only identify as _love, _which gave me a moment of fear, but that was erased as her hands wrapped into my hair and tugged me closer. "Thank you," she breathed against my lips before kissing me again.

Far too soon, she pulled away and beamed up at me. That was it. My heart was officially stolen. I was in love. "Want to help me wash it?" I suggested. It was the only thing I could think to say at the moment.

She gave me another brilliant smile that took my breath away, and nodded. "I'll get the rags."

**A/N II: Let me know what you think! Reviews are my lifeblood.**


	6. The Next Level

**A/N: Sometimes inspiration doesn't strike... but to make up for it this chapter is almost a thousand words longer than the last one! Who's ready for a little citrus? ;-) Super special thanks to weavingcerulean and sererah for being my awesome prereaders/betas. :-D Love you girls!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, I just make them fool around.**

The memorial service for Bella's father was a quiet affair. Charlie Swan had been a respected member of the community, and a beloved chief of police. Many people stepped forward to give small anecdotes or lengthy stories about how he had affected their lives, done something for them, taken them fishing. Bella held my hand between the stories, crying and laughing at appropriate intervals. I was so proud of her. She spoke, her voice shaky, but the love was evident in her voice. She was close to her father, that much was certain. I couldn't even imagine doing what she was doing now.

Sue sat beside us, on Bella's left, rubbing her shoulders and handing her Kleenexes periodically. I watched her; it was plain as day to me that she was more to Charlie than just a friend. She was acting strong for Bella's sake, doing more for this funeral and in general than just a normal friend would do, but her dark eyes were rimmed with red and her body was shaking with tears even more than even Bella's was. I guessed the burden of hiding her emotions was beginning to take its toll on her, and it genuinely hurt to see. Maybe I was becoming more and more like my brother, who always seemed to literally feel someone else's pain. I'd once called him a wuss... Now I was starting to understand.

I was by Bella's side throughout the day, and no one ever questioned us holding hands, not even in this small town. I was surprised, but glad. We didn't need drama on top of... well, drama. It felt right, natural, to be beside her like this, and moreover, I wanted to comfort her, be there for her. No one seemed to question it.

Maybe, as Emmett pointed out in a text a few nights later as I was brushing my teeth, I was growing up. Maybe she meant more to me than I ever expected her to. Maybe she was the best damn thing that had ever happened to me, and I found the real reason to wake up in the morning.

It felt weird to think about it, but maybe he was right. I pulled my hair back into a high ponytail so I could wash my face, and as I brought up my dripping face from the sink, I took a good long look at myself. I felt older, even in these few days. Like the things that I usually thought of had no importance, or held less urgency for me. Not like I didn't care about my family or work or friends anymore, but the shallow things didn't seem to matter anymore. Normally I freaked if I didn't have a manicure weekly but my nails were the last thing on my mind now. It sounded stupid, even to myself, but I could sense that things were really changing in me now.

It sounded stupid, even in my head, but Bella was changing me, for the better, into the person I should have been long ago. Caring for her was the best thing that had ever happened to me.

Of course, some old instincts die hard, and I still really wanted her. But there was that unspoken rule, the one that told me to wait, to not push her in any way, especially when she was still mourning. Each night I held her, and ached for her. We still kissed, but that's all it was.

Not that I was complaining. We came to each other equally now; my kisses matched hers in eagerness. She initiated them as often as I did, sometimes even more. I held her close to me when we slept, spooning her from behind in her small, creaky bed.

Bella had changed too.

One morning after breakfast, three days after her father's funeral, Bella and I sat on her couch and talked, taking a break from all of the things we'd had to do after the funeral; none of it was easy to do, emotionally. This break was necessary, if for nothing else but our own sanity. We sat on opposite ends of the couch, our feet tangled up together, faded old crocheted blankets strewn over our legs. I fingered the yarn and took a deep breath. The conversation had slowly turned from flirty and fun to heavy and very, very honest.

"When I first saw you, you took my breath away," I admitted, still picking at the blanket, embarrassed. I rarely blushed, but I could feel the heat rising, settling on my cheeks and chest as I spoke. "And I wanted you. I thought you were playing a game or something, and I dunno, maybe you were." I laughed a little, and Bella chuckled with me, her foot rubbing slowly against the arch of my foot, making me shiver. "But it infuriated me, and then you freaked out at me about your truck," I continued. "And I almost gave up on you."

"I know. That's my fault. I mean," she paused and bit that luscious bottom lip, just as I had earlier during breakfast. "I'd never been attracted to a woman before."

"Really?" It wasn't shocking, but it was awfully flattering.

"No, and it terrified me. I mean, look around." She swept her hand around the living room, but I took it to mean a general survey of Forks itself. "I didn't exactly grow up in the most liberal of places. And I hardly qualify as the most sexual being on the planet. I'd never even had an orgasm until-" She stopped mid-sentence and turned positively scarlet, bit her lip again.

"What?" I demanded, sitting up a little, eyeing her carefully. "Tell me!"

"No, it's embarrassing!" she protested, looking everywhere but me. A gorgeous blush had settled on her cheeks, and a little painting her chest.

I crossed my arms over my chest, giving her my best bossy look, my voice mock-threatening. "Isabella Swan, you will tell me now or so help me..."

"Fine!" She finally looked up at me through her eyelashes, and the look was smoldering. Devastating. "It wasn't until after you kissed me. That night in your room."

Heat spread through my body just thinking about it. "I remember," I breathed. I came hard that night thinking about it too. "That was really the first time you came?"

"Thinking about you," she affirmed, and I about melted into the couch. "And I did it a lot after that. It scared me how much I wanted you. Like, I've barely even kissed men, and yet all I wanted was to lay you down and fuck you into oblivion with my fingers, mouth, whatever."

My jaw literally dropped. Lust filled me into every nook and cranny, just thinking about her touching herself, wondering what her O-face must look like, how she sounded as she came. And to think about her taking charge... my entire body thrilled at the idea. She always seemed so timid, and I wanted to see that change.

She giggled, clearly amused by my reaction, and that snapped me out of my cloud of lustful thoughts. Instead of attacking her with my lips like I'd been contemplating, I was crawling up her body slowly with my hands poised to tickle just under her ribcage.

"NO!" she squealed, and curled up into the fetal position to bar my fingers from brushing against her body. "Stop! Rosie stop!"

I hovered over her body now, both of us breathing hard from our laughter. "I like it when you call me Rosie. No one could get away with that but my dad and you."

"Really?" she breathed, beaming up at me.

"Really," I confirmed, and then I leaned down to kiss her, my lips barely brushing over hers.

But what started out as a soft, slow kiss turned into something deeper. It was torturously slow, our tongues playing together. I started sucking on her tongue like I wanted to suck on her clit. She moaned into my mouth and pulled me closer, digging her fingers into my bare shoulders.

I groaned back when her leg hooked around mine, grinding her center into my thigh. Holy fuck. This was like our first kiss, only this time I knew she probably wasn't going to push me away. And this time, I knew I had to. Goddamn it.

I savored her lips, her eager movements for a while more, and then I paused, pulling away so reluctantly a pathetic little whimper escaped my lips. Did... not... want... to... pull... away...

"Bella, wait," I whispered, but all she did was yank my head back and crush her lips to mine again. I couldn't protest, all I wanted was to feel her. My hands fisted in her silky hair and just let my body enjoy the pleasure, if only for a few minutes longer. Her thigh was sliding between mine and I found myself rocking on it, needing the goddamn friction like I needed air.

"God, Rosalie," Bella panted when we finally parted for air, the burning in my lungs proving oxygen was actually necessary. My hands moved to her breasts, massaging them lightly, and she arched her back towards me. I felt powerful, but weak... she had power over me too. I felt almost sleepy; the need for her was so thick, I could scarcely breathe.

"We should... stop..." The words sounded weak, even to my ears. I didn't want to fucking stop, I just knew it was something I should probably say.

"But why?" she whispered, nipping at my throat. "I don't want to stop, and I know you don't really want to stop either."

Her logic was flawless. So flawless I just didn't have it in me to protest, especially when she looked me in the eyes and gave me this pouty, puppy dog face. I was a goner. "No, I don't want to stop... but shouldn't we?"

"Why?" Her tongue had found its way to the shell of my ear, and I shivered against her, my body weakening to hers. I was soaking wet and realized hazily my hips were still grinding slowly against her thigh.

"Well..." I cupped her breast more fully in my hand and massaged it in time with my hips, feeling her nipples harden at my touch. Her cheeks were flushed, and her eyes were as hooded and dark as my own. There was no way I could say no. Neither of us wanted to, clearly. "I was just... thinking..."

"No thinking, not right now," she plead, and then her finger found my hair, winding and twisting through it, tugging harder than I would have expected, and loving it even more. "This is what I need."

"Your bedroom then?" At the very least I could take her in a respectable location. The need was twisting hard inside me, and if I didn't move us soon, I was going to take her on the very afghan blanket she'd told me her Grandma Swan knit years ago. Not exactly kosher.

She didn't answer me, but dragged me up the stairs, without another word. There was determination in her eyes, as well as the lust. She wanted this just as much as I did and the boost was incredible. Everything had changed in these last few days. I still caught glimpses of Shy Bella, she would always be there. But the Bella who was dragging me to her room so we could finally give into what we truly wanted, that was a Bella I loved. I had yet to say it to her, but it was only a matter of time. I was dying to say it out loud, to tell her.

Bella's bed was big enough for us to share each night, but now we sank onto the bed together, Bella on top of me. Her legs immediately straddled my hips as our mouths met again. She tasted like cherries and maple syrup from our breakfast, and it was making my head spin. I hummed against her lips and the kisses got more aggressive, more persistent. My hands inched up her waist, pushing her shirt up to the bottom of her breasts, right where I wanted to feel her the most. Well... not the very most, that was a little further south. The slick folds of her pussy were calling out to me; if she was half as effected by this as I was, she was a friggin' flood down below.

Bella pulled away briefly, tugging her shirt up over her head, and I gasped when I saw she wasn't wearing a bra. Perfect brown nipples bounced in front of my face, and I couldn't help it when I leaned forward to kiss each one slowly. I may or may not have slipped my tongue over the left one, gauging her reaction. I looked up and saw her throw her head back a little, a sexy gasp escaping her lips.

"Oh Rose," she murmured, and I kissed back up her collarbone, to her neck, until I was sucking and nibbling just underneath her ear. She gave a delicious moan, and I held her even closer to me, her naked body brushing against mine. I had to feel her against me, so I pushed her back so I could sit up and throw my shirt off. She gasped and ogled much like I had, and I used her moment of distraction to pull her closer to me and bury my face in her chest again. She squealed, but then it turned into a moan as I dotted her milky skin with kisses and licks.

"Your skin tastes like sunshine," I murmured, caught up in the cheesiest moment of my life. The words just spilled out of my mouth, and I felt embarrassed, but instead of giggling, she started moaning, pushing her chest out further to my mouth. I obliged her by sucking on her nipple again, marveling at how it hardened at the touch of my tongue. God, she tasted amazing. All in due time, I was sure I'd find out how she tasted in other places...

"Rose, that feels so good," she gasped. "Don't stop, please!"

"Never," I promised, murmuring against her breast, and I spent what seemed like eternity just there. My hands wandered over her body, cursing the fabrics still between us on our lower halves. I ground my body slowly against hers, bucking up, and she moved slowly against me too. This felt like torture. But in such a sweet way, I couldn't stop, I couldn't find the will to even fathom ending this.

Eventually we found ourselves on our sides, facing each other, our mouths fused together again. We were naked now, except for our panties, and it still wasn't enough. My fingers dipped under the band of her boyshorts, and she moaned into my mouth, which only spurred me on more. I wasn't sure how far she wanted to go, and it was taking every ounce of strength in my to not flip her onto her back and finger fuck her into oblivion. I couldn't push her... but God, I wanted to push into her.

"Rosalie," she gasped, and my heart leapt at her deep, husky tone. "Please."

"What do you want, Bella?" I asked, looking her into her chocolate eyes as we pulled back, panting for air. She bit her bottom lip, which was swollen and berry red from our kisses, and I leaned in to lick it slowly, sensually. Her moan vibrated against my tongue, and I felt my folds get infinitely slicker. I wanted to know how she'd feel on my fingers, against my lips. All of her.

"Please, make me cum," she whispered, wiggling her hips against my thigh. "You make me feel so good..." Her words ended with an adorable little whimper as my fingers skimmed the front of her panties.

"Jesus Bella, you're soaked," I groaned, burying my face in her neck. I realized now I could feel it against my thigh where we had been grinding, and I sank my teeth gently into the juncture of her neck and shoulder in response. So damn hot. I wasn't going to survive this. I'd never felt even half of this before, and I wasn't even touching her yet. Not like I wanted to be. "What do you want me to do?" I whispered. "I'll give you anything Bella, I promise. Tell me what you want..."

"Fuck Rose, I don't know... I want you," she panted, pushing her pussy towards my hand. I took the hint and rubbed faster over where I knew her clit was. She cried out and moved with me.

"Tell me what you need Bella, and I'll give it to you," I promised, teasing her lightly, pushing the sides of her panties aside just a fraction. Hell, I was teasing myself too at this point. Waiting felt like torture.

"Touch me! Rose, please! Touch me... I wanna feel you... inside me," she finally panted, her eyes now shut, her voice pleading. I took no further prompting, pushing under her panties and diving my fingers inside her slick folds.

"Good God," I gasped. "You're so wet Bella!"

"All for you, Rose," she whimpered. My fingers slid along her clit, feeling just how swollen and sopping wet she really was. It was unreal, even just thinking she might want me the way I wanted her. I pushed a finger slowly into her, and her body tensed around me.

"Is this OK?" I asked softly, watching her face to gauge for signs of discomfort or hesitance. Her body clenched around my finger, almost painfully, but when I went to pull back, she grabbed my wrist.

"Really, I'll be fine," she breathed. "I've just never..."

"Never touched yourself like this before?" I guessed.

"No," she shook her head. "I've got a toy, it's just... It doesn't feel like that. I usually don't put it _in me._"

My eyes widened thinking about her holding a vibe to her clit, rocking it against her flesh like I was now doing with the heel of my hand. "We'll have to discuss this toy later on," I smirked, and slowly eased my finger back inside her. She flushed from head to toe, but her grip on my wrist relaxed and her breathing started to deepen as she closed her eyes, hopefully to enjoy the sensations I was giving her. "Are you OK baby?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," she slurred. "That feels so damn good."

"Better than your toy?" I teased, and she nodded against the pillows. I slowly pushed her onto her back so I had better control and access. Her thighs fell open, and I watched in pleasure as her wetness grew, seeing it drip down my fingers. I desperately wanted to taste her, but I contented myself to kissing her stomach, her breasts, her thighs, anything to keep her relaxed. I couldn't push this first time, I couldn't fuck this up. Maybe I'd sneak in a taste after my fingers stopped pumping inside her... Fuck.

"Fuck, Rosie, fuck fuck!" Bella started mumbling, thrashing her head against the pillows as she got closer. I used my other hand to circle her clit, keeping my eyes on her face, slowly rubbing my thighs together. Watching her come undone was the sexiest thing I'd ever seen. Her cheeks and chest were flushed, her breathing fast and shallow now, and she was biting her bottom lip. "Shit!" Her body tensed around my fingers before spasming around me rhythmically. God, she was gorgeous as she came. My lips quickly found hers, and she moaned loudly into my mouth, hands flying to grip my shoulders to pull us closer together.

As she came down from her high, I slowly stilled my fingers, and eased them out of her. I was covered in her juices, and I laid them to rest on her stomach as we gave into the kiss. She was perfect, this was perfect. I was overwhelmed to the point of near fear. She was essential to me now.

This line of thinking could have something to do with the stickiness between my thighs. But it also had something to do with my heart.

* MD *

"Are you sure we have everything?" Bella slammed the hatchback on my car down and wiped the dust onto her pants. My Subaru needed a desperate cleaning once I got back to Seattle.

"Yeah, but I mean, it's your house, you tell me," I laughed. We were driving back to school after two weeks in Forks. It put a major dent in my paycheck and Esme was not pleased with me, but I didn't care. If she had a problem with me, she could have her panties in a twist all she wanted. It wouldn't change a thing. But now it was time to leave Forks, return to our lives at UW and try to readjust. Our lives had been this bubble of tragedy and love mixed into one, with barely anyone to interrupt us, and now we'd have to deal with everything else. It had been easy to slip into comfort and what could best be called a slow burning romance, but we both knew that would change at school.

After Bella had done one last run through the house and we stopped by Sue's place to say goodbye, we were off on 101 heading east, my Subaru following The Red Monster. We stopped in Port Angeles for gas and snacks, and then slowly made the trek along the Sound. We'd decided to stop in Olympia and spend the night... one last night together before dorms and jobs and classes started up again and we had less time to spend together.

I could barely wait.

**A/N II: What do you think? Are they going too fast? What'll happen when they get back to UW? Let me know what you think! :-D**


	7. More

**A/N: I'm so sorry this took me so long! For awhile, I was disheartened, I barely had any reviews compared to past postings, and I guess I thought you guys didn't love this fic anymore. But I got some amazing reviews that lifted my spirits, and then life got a little less crazy (there's been surgeries in my family, a couple of days out of town, and just a crazy work schedule). So here we are! I'm debating on how long I want to make this fic... I never intended it to be longer than 10 chapters to begin with, and I think I might be sticking to that, but I'm never exactly sure how long any of my fics are, so we'll see. **

**Thanks as always to sererah for being my awesome beta/spell checker, and for my girl for being my sexy inspiration. ;-)**

**Disclaimer: SM's idea of sexy is fade to black... I give you the goods... ;-) And you should see my bank account. I make nothing off of this, trust.**

Bella greeted me with a motel key once we pulled in for the night in Olympia. It was the old school kind of motel, where the doors were all outside facing the parking lot, and there was a walkway above if you were on the second floor. As it was, we were on the bottom floor, on the very end.

"I requested it," she said, and flushed scarlet.

I fingered the plastic card and looked up to grin at her. "I like the way you think," I told her, and the blush deepened, which I had not thought possible. Clearly her thoughts were as dirty as mine, because all I could think of now was how loud I could make her scream tonight, if anyone else could hear her. We parked in front of the room, our cars beside each others, and even though the hotel had less than fifty rooms, it seemed that we were miles away from the other occupied spaces.

Tonight, we would be alone.

I held her hand as we grabbed our bags and walked quickly to our room, 112. The door squeaked a little as we swung it open, and it was dark inside. One flick of the light switch flooded the tiny room, in all of it's burgundy and mustard yellow glory. The curtains were dusty and hunter green, but at least provided a heavy protection from the outside world. Now that Bella was mine, I didn't quite feel like sharing.

"Well, it's clean, right?" Bella laughed a little, running her finger over the top of the TV and holding it up to prove it was clean.

"I guess so... it'll do," I smirked, setting my bags down. Bella visibly gulped as I said it, and I knew her mind was just about where mine was now. To the not so distant future where I would be touching, licking, and kissing her until she couldn't take anymore. I chewed on the inside of my cheek, pulling myself back from jumping her. _Later, _I kept telling myself. The night was young.

"I'm starved, wanna grab something?" she asked, and I nodded. I'd had granola bars in the car to tide me over, but I was starving. "We might need energy for later," she added softly, so quietly I could barely hear her. An enormous grin spread across my face as I took her hand, and we walked to the nearest restaurant just around the corner.

We talked some more as we waited for our orders. It turned out the place was a pancake house, so I'd ordered a stack of waffles with strawberries, and Bella picked a shortstack of buttermilk pancakes with blackberry syrup. "It was my dad's favorite," she said with a small smile, tracing the edge of her glass with her fingertip. There was definite sadness in her eyes, but a happiness there too. She'd loved her father very much, that much was apparent, but there was a lingering question I had to know.

"Why didn't you introduce me to any of your family?" I asked. "At the funeral, I mean."

She blew out a big breath of air. "I suppose that's because Sue is the closest thing I have to family now. She and my dad were nearly inseparable, after Sue's husband died, that is. Harry and Charlie were best friends, and after his heart attack, Sue spent a lot of time with my dad. When he got sick, it only made sense that she be his... I guess caretaker is the best word. He didn't have anything or anyone else, except for me." She bit her bottom lip, and for once it didn't feel sexual.

"How come?" I asked, knowing the question was stupid before it was even done being said.

"Why didn't he have anyone else?" she clarified, and I nodded. "Charlie was an only child, and his parents died when I was a kid. We were pretty close, and I took it rough. Let's just say I now have a mortal fear of cancer. It's taken too many people. And my mom, she left when I was a baby. Just walked out, hated Forks that much I guess." She shrugged, probably a fact of life she'd said a hundred times in her life. It was sad, how she could just say that, that her family had left her. Knowing Bella, hearing her stories, made me want to reconnect with my parents, my brother, even his annoying girlfriend. I was learning how selfish I had been, hell, most of my life, and I wanted to put a stop to it.

"So anyways, tell me about your family," she said, and I smiled, launching into a brief history of my family, and how I was thinking about visiting them soon now. "I'd... like to meet them someday, I think," she said.

The waitress, who was wearing obscene red lipstick and had talons just as crudely painted, smacked her gum and asked which of us ordered the cakes and which the waffles. As if it were difficult to keep an order like that straight. The waffles were buttery and just the right kind of crispy as I sunk my fork into them, and I took a huge bite before answering her, licking my lips free of the sticky syrup. Bella's eyes were locked on my lips when I looked up, and I gave the bottom another lingering lick before finally responding to her comment.

"I want you to meet them too," I said sincerely. "I think you might like them."

"I'm sure I will," she grinned.

We ate up quickly, as if we both knew the faster we ate, the sooner we'd be alone together. Her feet played with mine under the table, and I marveled at how easy this felt, how right, and how she seemed to be going along with it just as much as I was. As we walked back to the hotel, hand in hand, I had to ask. "Were you ever attracted to women before me?"

"Yes... and no," she replied, and after a moment's pause, she continued. "I was always fascinated by women, but I'd never had one in mind before, ya know?"

I laughed lightly. "I know what you mean."

"But... you've had experience before," she said, her brow furrowing a little.

"Well yeah, but that was more experimentation, I guess you could say," I explained. I'd never really thought about what I'd done in the past before, but now was as good a time as any to explore it, and I was surprised how easily the answers came to me. "I liked it, don't get me wrong, but I never had real feelings for the girl I was with. That's..." I paused and swallowed hard. "That's how it always was with me, when it came to sex. Fun but no meaning..."

"Ever?"

"Well, I liked Emmett," I finally admitted. "We get along great, even when we're not in bed. But he's more just like a protector, my friend. Until you I-" I stopped mid-sentence, feeling my own cheeks flush. I was worried I'd let too much slip, but then she squeezed my hand and grinning, and I relaxed. Expressing my feelings wasn't something I was good at, even the slightest hint of revealing how I truly felt about things terrified me. But Bella, she prodded more, like she wanted to hear about all my jumbled thoughts, and I gave in. "Until you, I didn't think of sex as something with meaning. I just... had it. I used it because I thought if I had sex with whoever, somehow I'd be happy. That I could escape. It doesn't work that way, as it turns out," I chuckled.

Her brown eyes were shimmering with tears as we walked, but the grin on her face told me they were happy tears. "I never thought I'd find anyone like you Rose," she said finally, and pulled me to a stop, right there on the sidewalk. Our lips met, her hand in my hair, controlling the kiss. I let her, giving back everything I could into the kiss, until we pulled back, walking twice as fast towards the hotel.

My heart was racing as we got back to our room. It had little to do with exertion, and far more to do with the fact that something was changing between us. I didn't know what it was, maybe our open discussions, maybe going through something difficult together, that we'd passed our first physical barrier... in any case, I felt closer to her now than I'd ever truly felt with anyone else, and one thing was desperately clear. I was in love with Bella, and I think she loved me too.

The door shut behind us, we sat down our purses and kicked off our shoes... and suddenly the bed was sinking beneath us. It was slow, not unlike our beginning kisses, but there was so much more heat behind them now. We weren't frantic, we took our time, exploring each others mouths with our tongues. My head was spinning as I memorized her taste, running my hands over her body, up and down her curves as we laid on our sides. Her leg hooked over mine, and we moved so much closer, my hips settling against hers.

Her shirt was the first to come off. I was impatient, I wanted to feel her skin against mine. Like she was reading my mind, my shirt came off moments later, and I groaned as our breasts brushed together more intimately, though still in our bras. "More," she whimpered into my mouth, and soon, we were both completely naked, still kissing slowly, hands exploring each others bodies now.

I guided her hand between my thighs so she could feel how wet I was for her. She gasped, and I realized this was the first time she'd done this before. "Show me, Rose," she whispered, and I helped her find my clit, gasping as circled it slowly like I'd done on her before. "God, you feel so good," she said in amazement. "I had no idea..."

"Bellaaaaa," I moaned. My hips bucked up to her hand, my body eager for more. She kissed me again, thrusting her tongue against mine, making me dizzy again. When she pulled back, I moaned her name again. She had added a finger, very very slowly, tentatively, and I pushed back down on her finger to encourage her more. My body was so ready for her, needy and aching and desperate for this release. She was adorable, as I looked at her. She was concentrating so hard, biting her bottom lip, like she was studying me and my body. I spread my thighs a little more, and she added another finger. "Just like that baby, yes," I panted.

"Rose, you're so beautiful," she said, and our eyes locked. My body's reaction sped up then, as I looked into her gorgeous brown eyes and realized, without a doubt, that I loved her, and that she loved me. We just had to say the words.

"Are you close?" she asked, she was so earnest, so eager to please.

"Yessss," I sighed, feeling my walls start to tremble. "Bella, oh God!"

"Please, let me make you cum," she pleaded, and I came, feeling the wetness soak onto the sheets beneath me.

"Oh," she gasped, and kissed me hard, swallowing my cries of pleasure. When we broke apart, I kept mumbling her name, over and over. She pulled her finger out slowly, and I grabbed her hand.

"I want to see you taste me," I gasped, still coming down from my high.

She hesitated a moment, before raising her finger to her lips, and giving it a tiny lick. Another hesitation, and she was sucking it all off, moaning. "You taste really good," she admitted. I kissed her then, letting our tastes mingle together on our tongues.

* MD *

Hours, many many hours later, we were laying side by side again, whispering in the darkness. We were exhausted, sated, and maybe even a little sore after all of our explorations. I now knew how she tasted, how to get her to gush on my tongue, how she looked while she was on her knees, spread open on her back, and hovering right above me. That she liked the vibrator held on the right side of her clit, and that even though I'd now seen her in nearly every single way possible, she would still blush when I told her she was beautiful and sexy.

"Rose, I never knew it could be like this," she whispered across the pillow.

"Me either," I admitted, just as quietly. Her hand ran over the curve of my hip, and my body couldn't help but react. "When I first saw you, I knew I wanted you. But now..."

"It's more," she breathed, finishing my sentence.

"I don't just want you now," I said. "I need you."

"I was so afraid to want you," she murmured. "And now I can't picture anything but you."

I wanted to tell her, the words were on the tip of my tongue. The words "I love you" had never seemed more difficult to say than this moment, even though I knew the words themselves would come easy. That I meant it, that I felt it. But I couldn't. I felt cowardice wash over me, but then Bella rolled over, the sheet falling off her chest, with the sexiest "come hither" look I'd ever seen. I couldn't dwell on serious things when my girlfriend was inviting me to ravish her again.

* MD *

Campus seemed a lot bigger when we got back, but the sun seemed to shine more brightly. Our dorm rooms seemed to be miles away instead of just twenty feet or so, but for a few days, the only thing that really concerned us was whose room we were going to stay in that night. When we were busy with work and class, it felt like part of me was missing. When we met back, in her place or mine, I felt whole again. Even if we just watched movies together, it still felt right.

"Do you want some ice cream?" she asked one particularly toasty evening. The fans were pointed at us, and we were so hot, we weren't even touching, sitting more than a foot apart from each other on the bed. Sharing body heat did not sound appealing in any way to me.

"Yeah, we could go get some," I said, though I dreaded the walk to the snack shop a few blocks away. "Or I have some water bottles in the freezer we could use as personal ice packs."

Bella giggled, and hopped up to grab them. It looked like she was going to say something, before there was a knock on the door.

"Hall meeting in twenty!" Angela chirped when Bella opened the door. "Oh! Hey Bella! I'm glad to see you, I keep coming by your room to talk with you, but you're never there."

Bella tucked her hair behind her ear and looked sheepish. "I have a lot of classes, and I'm studying a lot." That, at least, was partially true.

"Yes, I've heard you studying in here several times," Angela quipped with a wink, and Bella turned scarlet. "I'll see you two at the meeting!" and away she went.

**A/N II: Whatcha think? Leave me love!**

**P.S. If I can't respond to your reviews, it's not because I don't love you back, it's because FF . net has been a whore-bag lately.**


	8. Coming Home

**A/N: It's a quick one, but I had so much on my plate lately that I wanted to get this out, and I'll be able to concentrate more on longer chapters when the chaos of these next few weeks are over! Graduations, family reunions, work, work, more work, more family things, even more work... you get the picture, and I'm sure you're all dealing with it too! Thanks as always to sererah for being my amazing spell checker, and to my girl, for inspiring me. I love you...**

**I also just wanted to thank everyone for their wonderful reviews, you keep me going and make me want to keep writing this fic. You make me proud to write! *hugs for all***

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't think this would happen in Steph's world. Just mine. Maybe yours too. ;-)**

Summer melted into fall, and my senior year of college began. Bella was sad when I moved back into my sorority house, and I had to admit that I wasn't fond of the idea anymore either. I missed her being just down the hall, or in my bed any night. She had moved too, but to an apartment on the complete opposite side of campus as mine.

It wasn't easy, but each day it became more and more apparent that we were in love. That we wanted to be together. And that neither of us had the guts to say so.

"I love... being with you," I'd whisper as we held each other, naked in bed. We spent the night with each other often, but these days it had to be planned out, which I didn't like. I wanted to be able to stride down the hall, gather her in my arms, and just... be.

"I love it too," she'd echo, and kiss me harder than before.

She was becoming bolder, and somehow I was becoming softer. I didn't view it as a bad thing. I realized pretty quickly that I hadn't been the best of people in the past. And Bella was transforming as well. She initiated things as often as I did, and we were finally able to communicate without jumping to conclusions or making rash decisions.

When classes started, we both had to throw ourselves into classes. We studied every night, sometimes together in the library, and sometimes in her apartment, which she shared with one of her fellow classmates, a tiny little sprig of a girl named Rebecca. 'Becca' was never around, spending most of her time in the library or at one of her millions of organizations, which suited Bella and me just fine.

"When will she be back?" I panted against Bella's lips as we laid sprawled on the couch, books long forgotten. I was too busy studying the curves of her body, and her hands were giving my ass the massage of a lifetime.

"Mmm, she said she wouldn't be back for hours," Bella moaned, now slipping her hand into the back of my pants. My girl was very much an ass woman, I was discovering. I kissed down her jaw, down her neck and towards her chest. I was half and half. I loved her boobs too.

"Good," I said as I nibbled at her collarbone, and for long while, we didn't talk, or do anything except strip off our shirts and kiss more fiercely than before. My body shimmied down hers until my mouth was latched on her nipple, and I was sucking and licking and lightly scraping with my teeth.

"Fuck, Rosalie," she moaned, arching her back towards me, encouraging me in that irresistible, sexy way she had. She was so pliable, so ready for me, warm and soft and mine. "Please, more baby."

My hands had just reached her bra, unhooking it and throwing it to the side, when the door burst open. "I forgot my book for Shakespeare, Bella," Rebecca said, walking in, throwing down her keys and bag, and striding quickly towards her bedroom. "Did you borrow it earlier? I can't remember."

Bella and I had scrambled up, in the meantime. She'd pulled on her shirt, and I was in the process of pulling mine back over my head as Rebecca came back into the living room. She stopped, mid-sentence, and took us in. Her eyes widened as she started at the top, where our hair was mussed, our lips red, and our eyes far too bright, down to our midsections, where my nipples were hard and Bella's were clearly unrestrained, to our feet, where I was stepping on the strap of Bella's bra.

"Um..." she started, looking embarrassed and shocked. "This is... new."

"Not necessarily," Bella piped up before I could say anything. "Um... we've kind of been together for awhile." Her voice was too loud, too shrill. Like she was trying to be strong, but incredibly nervous about it.

"Oh." Rebecca's tone was short, curt. "Well then, I'll just be going back to the library." She cleared her throat, nodded once, and walked out again.

We watched as she shut the door behind her, and then Bella flopped back on the couch, clearly upset. "Bella?"

Her eyes were glistening with tears as she looked up at me. "We should have told her," she said, her voice thick. "I could tell from the beginning she wouldn't be OK with this, did you see her face? She was kinda disgusted, couldn't you tell?"

If I was honest, I hadn't, so I shrugged. "Maybe she was just surprised."

"I'll bet she was!" Bella exclaimed, jumping up so she could pace around the coffee table which was full of our notes when we had been legitimately studying. "Oh God, I'm going to have to move, aren't I?"

"Why the hell would you have to move?" I exclaimed. "So she doesn't like that we were making out on the couch, we'll just move to your bedroom when we want to do stuff." I had the feeling I was very wrong, but I was trying to push it down, be positive.

"You don't get it, do you?" Bella shouted back, tears falling now. "She won't accept this, I just know it. You should have seen Rosalie... and I know she's really traditional and stuff, we should have been more careful."

I tried to convince her she was wrong, but I did it only half convinced myself. If I was honest, I was used to people being used to homosexuality. The idea that not everyone would be accepting hadn't occurred to me, which was naive, I suppose.

The rest of the night, we stayed in the living room and studied. Bella insisted we stay in the living room so when Becca came home, she'd see that we hadn't been going at it all night. When Rebecca came home, she barely said two words to us, or gave so much as a glance towards us.

* MD *

It went like that, for awhile. Rebecca never dropped the Ice Queen facade, and Bella was a wreck about it. "I don't want to have to move," she'd fret as we would study together, or after we finished making love. "But she's being just awful, and I can't live with anyone who wouldn't accept us. Even the people in Forks didn't seem to mind!"

I still hadn't told her I loved her. I wanted to, the words were there, the feelings were there. I guess I was waiting for the right moment, though I wasn't sure what kind of moment I was waiting for. She hadn't really said anything either, I think we were both in limbo. Waiting for the other to say it so we wouldn't have to be the first.

I was careful with my next words. "We could... I mean if you wanted... we could get a place together..." I cleared my throat and grabbed a thick text book, pretending to rifle through it.

"You... I mean... you'd want to?" Bella stumbled over her words.

I shrugged lightly. "I'd like it, but we don't have to, not if you're not ready."

It was a few weeks until Christmas, and we'd been together for almost four months. It was fast, but it didn't feel _too _fast. I'd already bought the heart necklace for her with the hopes that it would lead me to the three words I wanted to say so much. I knew I wanted to be with her, that I would love to live with her... We were practically living together already as it was.

"I think I'd like that," she said finally, weaving her fingers through mine.

"Yeah?" I tried not to sound too hopeful.

"Yeah."

* MD *

San Antonio was blessedly warm as I stepped off the plane. It was good to be home, and I hadn't even realized how much I'd missed it until I saw my dad, mom, Jasper and Alice waiting there for me. I raced towards them, dropping my bag as I flung myself into my dad's arms. I hadn't seen him since before I spent time in Forks with Bella when Charlie died, and I hadn't forgotten my vow to myself that I was going to appreciate him more, be the best daughter I could while I still had the chance.

"Hey kiddo," he chuckled as he set me back down on my feet. "Miss us much?"

I was shocked that there were tears in my eyes. "Yes, I did. So much."

My mom swept me in her arms next, and she was crying too. I hadn't realized reuniting after nearly a year would be so emotional, but there I was, blubbering like an idiot in the airport. I even clung to Jasper a little longer than I normally would have, and grinned when Alice swept me into a hug. She barely came up to my shoulder, even in four-inch heels.

"Well," my dad boomed as I pulled away from Alice, wiping away tears, "Care to introduce us?"

Bella was standing ten feet behind us, smiling bashfully. Her cheeks were painted with her beautiful blush, and she was standing pigeon toed, something she only did when she was extremely nervous. She looked tiny, standing there with all of her bags draped over her shoulders, and she must have picked up my bag as I dropped it behind me, because now she looked like a spindly bag rack.

"Here young lady, give me those," my dad said, strolling up to her with a big grin. I noted he had a larger bald patch on the back of his head than I remembered. Bella hesitated for just a second, and then broke into a grin as she handed him the bags.

"Thanks, they were getting kinda heavy," she replied. She looked shaky but relieved. She'd confided in me that she was terrified to meet my family, despite my reassurances that they would love her. How could they not?

"Now honey, let the fellas take care of those, and give me a big hug!" my mom said, pulling Bella into her famous bear hug. They hugged for a long time, rocking back and forth like friends long reunited. When Mom pulled back, Bella was looking amused and a little dizzy. "I'm Charlotte, please don't call me Mrs. Hale or I'll get more gray than I already have." She patted her impeccably blonde hair and smiled. "Come on, Peter and Jasper will take those," she admonished Bella as she reached for her smallest bag, "and us girls can go for a walk and talk." Alice joined us, and linked arms with me. She was beaming, and I just felt like smiling back at her.

* MD *

"Your family is so nice!" Bella grinned as we settled in my bedroom after dinner. Bella had been incredibly embarrassed when my mom had showed me to my room, and told her she wouldn't let Bella stay in the guest room when "it's so obvious you two don't want to be apart."

"They like you," I told her, and I didn't have to lie. I could tell, just from my mom's smiling expression, from my dad's wide grin, and from Alice's bouncing enthusiasm, that my family was enamored with her. Even Jasper seemed comfortable around her, which was rare in and of itself. We had all been shocked when he brought Alice home almost two years ago, and had never let her go. He'd never even been on a date before her, despite his good Hale looks.

"Oh I hope so, I don't want them to think of us like Rebecca did..."

"Rebecca was full of shit," I said as I wrapped my arms around her waist. "My family might be Texan but they're not small minded. They're happy because we're happy."

"I am happy," she whispered. "More than I think I ever have been." Her lips ghosted across mine, the tip of her tongue flicking against my top lip. We stood there, for a long time, just kissing. It slowly dawned on me that I was in my childhood bedroom, and that I'd only ever had bad experiences here. I wanted to change that, and now.

Slowly, we laid down on the bed, beside the suitcases we'd left open there. I kissed up and down her neck, my hands moving up her body. She was overheated, soft, and I devoured her mouth when she turned her lips towards mine. Our tongues played together, and I sucked on her tongue when she pushed it into my mouth, humming with pleasure. She moaned, shoving her hands into my hair. My heart was going to bust out of my chest, I was so steeped in her, so full of her.

I kissed up and down her neck some more, when air became necessary, nibbling on her skin, tasting her. "I love you," I whispered in her ear, it was all so natural, and neither of us froze, neither of us freaked out. This was the moment, the one we'd been waiting for. She melted into me and told me she loved me too. I kissed her deeply, and we undressed each other slowly, savoring each other, fully aware we were making love. It wasn't the first time, but this time, we knew. We could feel it in our tissues, in our very bones.

We were in love.

**A/N II: Awwwww, the three little words... How do you think the rest of the trip will go? Whatcha think? Let me know! :-D And I'm sorry if I don't get back to your reviews. FF . net has been such a jerk about letting me reply lately. :-/**


	9. Deck the Halls

**A/N: Thanks as always to my lovely friend sererah for checking my spelling and such, and to my girl, for always inspiring me. 5 more days... :-D And THANK YOU SO MUCH for all of the amazing reviews! I've been really fail at replying to them, but I adore each and every one of them, and we're almost to 150! Yay, you guys are the best. :-D **

**Disclaimer: I only make them do loving and naughty things together. ;-) I make like no money at my real job, so why would I writing this? LOL**

I was standing just outside the kitchen, eavesdropping like I was seven again and my parents were discussing how they'd tell Jasper and me that we were going to Disneyland for the first time. My heart was racing, like I knew I wasn't supposed to be overhearing anything, and I was scared to even breathe, not wanting them to know I was there. And most importantly, there was a fucking stupid/happy grin on my face that simply would not go away.

"I can't tell you how happy Rosalie is now that you're in her life, Bella," my mom said, in the happiest tone of voice I think I'd ever heard in my life. You could practically hear the sunbeams and rainbows sprouting out of it. "She seems so different, but in the best way."

Bella laughed lightly, and my heart pulled towards her instinctively. "I've noticed she's changed too, I mean, obviously I haven't known her as long but..." She trailed off, clearly slightly embarrassed. But it was true, I was a different person than the one she knew just a few brief months ago, the one that chased her with an endless ego and treated everyone like my own personal sex toy.

"Well she's never brought anyone home before," my mom said, setting down what sounded like a glass or mug on the counter. It grated against the tile in a sound I had to cringe at. "You're special."

"Maybe?" Bella guessed, still sounding like she might be blushing.

"Oh, no, I already know you are, darling," my mom said and then there was a moment of silence. I peeked my head around the corner and saw that they were hugging. My heart warmed, blossoming like never before. The Grinch had nothing on me.

I walked in the kitchen then, nonchalantly pouring myself a glass of juice. My mom and Bella broke apart, and my mom came over to kiss my temple. Bella was beautiful, her hair shining in a halo around her head in the morning light. She was beaming, but her eyes were rimmed with red, like she had been crying. I deeply hoped they were tears of happiness.

"Morning," I said, watching how they interacted together. Natural, comfortable. Bella was still nervous, but I could tell it was because she wanted to make a good impression on my family. Moments later, Alice and Jasper came into the kitchen, rumpled and sleepy looking.

"Wow, Rose, you're up already?" Jasper said incredulously.

I stuck my tongue out at him. I was notorious for sleeping in late, especially when I was visiting home. They often teased me about the Christmas morning when I was nine and they couldn't wake me up, and poor Jasper had to wait for hours to open his stocking from Santa. I sleep like the dead, just ask anyone. "Shut up Jasper, it's not Christmas morning or anything." His mouth drew into a thin line and I laughed, as did my mom.

Breakfast was quiet, but nice. Bella held my hand under the table, and as I am not a lefty, this made eating cereal difficult, but her hand was so soft and warm in mine that I didn't mind. My family kept shooting us surreptitious

glances, and everyone was smiling, so I took that to be a good sign. I felt so happy to be home, so lucky, probably for the first time in my life I knew I could appreciate my family.

* MD *

The next few days went by seemingly too fast. Today was Christmas Eve, and some of my family members were coming over for dinner and gift exchanging. Bella was freaking out.

"Does this sweater match my hair? I mean, I don't look too yellow or anything do I?" she asked as she held up a burgundy cardigan that made her eyes look even more beautifully brown. Her mouth was set in a frown, and I really really wanted to kiss it away, so I did. "Rose, this isn't funny!" she exclaimed as I pulled back.

"I wasn't laughing," I pointed out, and she scowled at me for a second, which made me kiss her again, and she sighed with resignation when I pulled back after a long, wet kiss.

"I'm just scared they won't like me," she admitted, biting that amazing bottom lip I loved to suck on. "Your parents are great, but not everyone is going to be-"

"If they don't like it, I'll kick their ass," I said sincerely, and there was a small part of me was worried about what they'd think, but for the most part, I felt it was safe to make her promises. "And I don't think my mom will let anyone talk shit about us."

She smiled, and pulled on the sweater.

* MD *

I was right. My mom didn't let anyone talk shit about us, although I knew there was definite gossip going on while backs were turned. I had never come out to my family, and hadn't even officially come out to my parents, though I'm sure they saw enough clues over the years, and Bella was proof in the pudding. I guess since I'd dated men in the past, none of my relatives had figured I'd be with a woman, but to their credit, they were at the very least polite.

My cousin Carmen was the most polite, and she hovered. "Rosalie, you are looking amazing, and who is this cute friend of yours?" she gushed, pushing her short dark hair out of her eyes. Physically we were opposites, and I always had the vibe that she silently worshipped me. We were just a few months apart in age, and we had spent our entire childhood together. I was the leader, she was the follower, and despite drifting apart over time, and the fact that I had been a bitch to her over the last few years, she still seemed to like me. She was like a very friendly dog that wanted to lick you all over the face, but you just didn't want the attention. Harmless and slightly annoying. "She's just darling."

"Well, that's my girlfriend Bella," I explained, and watched as Bella talked with my aunt, holding a mug of hot chocolate tight in her hands.

Her eyes widened for a moment, but recovered quickly. "Girlfriend? Wow. Well she's beautiful."

"Yes, she is," I said, and smiled. It felt awkward but necessary to lay everything out on the line, and I may as well start with my most adoring cousin. "She's amazing."

"Well, I imagine, I mean she's with you." Carmen beamed at me. I wanted to slap her around a little, tell her I was no role model, that I fucked up more than I made the right choice, and that Bella had rocked my world to my very core, and changed me at my most fundamental levels. That I was lucky. "How did you meet?"

"School," I said simply, and the answer seemed to satisfy her. "How about you? Anyone for you?"

"Well there's this one guy..." she said, blushing, though her Spanish (from her mother's side, not the Hale's) olive skin hid it well. She launched into the story of how she met this guy in her chemistry class, how he was an exchange student from Europe, how she wasn't sure if he was going to ask her out or not, but that she really liked him, and how she often caught him looking at her out of the corner of her eye.

"Well ask him out," I offered. "You never know, he might say yes." She stared at me as if I'd suggested she strip down and dance with a hat of fruit on top her head. "It won't hurt to try," I added with a shrug.

"Well... I mean if you say so..."

"I know so," I said confidently, hoping she'd catch on. She smiled, a little more reassuredly, and I patted her on the arm. She was a pretty girl, and if she just believed in herself a little more, I was sure she'd get the guy she wanted. "So what are your plans after graduation?" She was just a few months younger than me, so naturally she was in the same year of college as me. I had no plans, but it was the obligatory question everyone always asked each other at such a pivotal point in life.

"Try to avoid moving home as much as possible," she laughed, and we carried on the conversation for a long time after. Her dad, my dad's brother Marcus, slid next to me on the couch, wrapping his meaty arm around my shoulder, the three of us talked together for some more as well. That is, until he opened up his trap.

"So, I hear you and your friend over there are a little more than that," he boomed, and it seemed like he was speaking through a megaphone, he was so loud, although it was probably my imagination. There was a look of concern on his face, and it immediately put my alerts up. "How's that going?"

"G-good," I replied, stuttering a little in my surprise. Carmen eyed her father and me carefully, probably unsure what to say now. She was like my shadow, but she was also Daddy's little girl, and probably had no idea whose side to take.

"Well, that's nice," he said, with a fake looking smile. "You know, I was just talking to Pastor Benjamin the other night..." And he launched into a long speech about the pastor in his church, and how wonderful it was to be in the holy union with God.

I was raised up going to church, but I didn't subscribe to it now. It was something that used to be expected of me, but it just wasn't my thing. But it was certainly what most of my family was into. They weren't Bible thumpers, but it meant a lot to them, and I knew they wouldn't approve of my relationship with Bella, even though I hoped they'd at least pretend to accept it. But Uncle Marcus was trying to make his point without actually saying it. A little reminder to Rosalie that she was stepping over the toes of the Lord.

Carmen watched us awkwardly, nodding or smiling when she thought it was appropriate, adding in her own comments about a potluck or prayer group here or there, but mostly she stayed quiet and I could almost feel waves of pity coming from her. The only thing was, I wasn't sure if she was pitying me, or my uncle for having to do this little "intervention."

I found out, hours later, after everyone had said their goodbyes, opened their presents, and swallowed their last glass of wine.

"I heard Marcus talking to you earlier," my dad said when he and I were alone in the kitchen. Bella was helping my mom and Alice fold the wrapping paper up to be reused next year. Typical Hale behavior... Waste not, want not.

"Yeah, that was..."

"Awkward?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"The look on your face was pretty telling," he smirked. He reminded me of Jasper when he did that, young and devilish like he still was from time to time. My mom loved it. I was just glad they were still happy together after all these years. "You looked like you wanted kick somebody's ass out there."

"God, I love you Dad," I laughed, and he rubbed my shoulder like he did when I was a kid, just about when he was about to impart some wisdom upon me, like he was Mike Brady.

"Hey, I'm looking out for you kiddo," he said. "I'll talk to him."

"No, really, that's fine, I mean if he wants to talk shit, let him. I don't really care, it doesn't change anything."

"I'm proud of you Rosie. You never take anyone's crap. I guess your ma and I did something right."

"So..." I traced my finger along the rim of my mulled wine. It was getting cold, but I felt like I needed the booze. "You don't agree with Uncle Marcus?"

"Hell no." I looked up, and saw nothing but steely resolve in my father's eyes. He was serious. "I love you no matter what, and so does your mother. We don't care who you love, as long as you're happy. And Baby Girl, you look happy."

"I am."

"Well then." He took a long swig of his mulled wine, and winced as he swallowed. "Damn, that was cold."

* MD *

Bella stretched over in bed, eyes shut closed against the sun. I loved that she reached for me even in sleep.

Yesterday had been trying for sure, but she made it all worth it. She was so sweet, so warm, so trusting and loving. It had hurt her, to hear my uncle go on and on the way he had. hell, it had been hard on me too. She had cried that night, she had heard every single word spewed about sins and giving people chances to end their sinning ways and come to God, getting forgiveness for all their "deadly mistakes." I had held her, whispering reassurances and words of comfort. Eventually I cried too, I hated disappointing my family in this way. I didn't care what they thought about us, but I did care that they weren't accepting like I'd wanted them to be. But even through all that, I was reminded that Bella made everything worthwhile.

"Baby, wake up," I whispered. She groaned and buried her head more deeply into her pillow. It was impossible to wake her in the morning. Not that I was an early riser or anything, but she made me seem like Little Miss Sunshine-Up-Her-Ass. "It's Christmas..." I gently reminded her, a sing-song tone in my voice.

That perked her up right quick. "Wha... what? I'm up..." she gasped, scrambling instantly to her feet, pushing the covers off of me in a blast of cold air.

"Hey!" I protested.

"Sorry," she slurred, still insanely groggy and trying to push the covers back onto me. Her hair was sticking up in every direction, her eyes puffy and blurry. "It's Christmas!"

"Yes," I chuckled, and grabbed a sweatshirt to pull over my head, pushing off the covers fully now. It wasn't cold like Washington, but it wasn't exactly balmy either.

"I've never had a sunny Christmas before," Bella pondered, pulling on her plaid robe I knew she'd snagged from her father.

Oh God.

Her first Christmas without him.

I pulled her to me and kissed her gently, wanting to silently comfort her in the best way I knew how. But when I pulled back, her eyes were wide and dreamy. Before I could say anything, she had pulled me back into a deep kiss, her tongue instantly moving to my lips, seeking to part them.

"Ohhh," I gasped, sighing into her mouth. Our hands began to wander, and our lips moved more furiously together as time passed. I was getting needy, knees instantly weaker. "Yes..." My original intentions were flying out the window with each stroke of the hand, each nibble of the bottom lip.

I would have taken her right then and there, except we were ever so rudely interrupted by a sharp rap at the door. "Breakfast! Rosalie come on, wake up," Jasper whined. "It's Christmas." It was like he was five.

Bella was flushed when I pulled back, but she was giggling at us being caught. "Fine!" I called through the door, and grinned down at her. "Wanna...?"

"Yes!" she beamed excitedly, and I started towards the door. I was halfway down the hall before I realized Bella wasn't with me. I double-backed and found her waiting in the doorway, looking sheepish and younger than usual. "Um..."

"What baby?" I frowned and watched as her face turned a dark shade of red.

"It's nothing," she mumbled.

"Tell me baby, please?" I ran my hands down her curves, resting my palms on her hips. "Please?"

"Do... do we open stockings first things first?" she asked, clearly embarrassed.

"Yes," I said, trying not to smile. She was so innocent in times like these. I imagined it had to do with the fact that her dad was gone, that she wanted to keep some of her traditions in this strange place. "We don't even eat breakfast until we've opened them."

A huge smile split across her face, and she took my hand, letting me lead her down the stairs. My fingers entwined with hers, and we stepped into the living room where my family waited.

"Merry Christmas Bella," I whispered, and kissed her softly.

"Merry Christmas Rose."

**A/N II: Please leave them love... aren't they just adorbs? Hehe. Have you ever been in a relationship your family didn't instantly approve of? **


	10. Cardboard Boxes

**A/N: I'm SO sorry I've been MIA lately! I got a promotion at work and I've been working hard! Add on family issues and stress... Plus I'm planning my trip to see my girl in a few days, so needless to say, life has been a little hectic! Thanks for everyone who has been hanging on with me, I still love this fic and have plans to further it a little more, so please give me a little patience, and I'll try to get my schedule a little less crazy. :-)**

**Thanks to my girl for looking this over for me! I love you!**

**Disclaimer: But of course, I make no money off of this fic.**

"Rose, have I told you how much I love this?" Bella lightly fingered the heart-shaped locket necklace dangling from her neck.

"Only sixty times since I gave it to you," I laughed. I loved thinking about when I gave it to her for Christmas, the smile that split across her face as she opened the small white box. Inside I knew it held a photo of her father on one side, and of me on the other.

We were unpacking boxes together in our brand new apartment. It was tiny, but it was us, and so long as we had enough room for a brand new king sized bed, I didn't care. We were going to break in said bed tonight. I couldn't wait.

It was mid-January, and it was freezing, quite literally. There had been a massive ice storm, blowing in from Canada, leaving all of Seattle in a thick layer of glittering and deadly ice. It had delayed our move-in date by a week, which had been frustrating. The mattress guy had laughed at us over the phone when we'd tried to schedule delivery. "Lady, you see the ice out there? We'd break our necks!" I'd demanded to speak to the manager, who had subsequently also declined, albeit more politely.

So a week after we'd planned, Bella and I were moving in together. She had more books than I could count, and she teased me about how her half of the closet had been reduced to a quarter, but generally speaking, we were ecstatic.

It felt surreal, moving in with her. I'd never lived with anyone besides my family, and Tanya when we'd been roomed together in freshman year; she and I had once been lovers, but we were horrific roommates. We'd nearly killed each other by the end of the first week.

And to live with someone I loved, well, that was a whole new thing too. There was so much more at stake now, and I was terrified I'd do something to fuck it all up. Bella had reassured me that no matter what, it was the right thing to do... for us. And I silently hoped she was right. I was jumping in head first, heart first. I never would have expected to, before she came into my life, that is, but it didn't feel wrong or like a mistake. Until Bella, I'd never realized that you could have a relationship that might never end.

"Babe?" Bella sounded amused as she watched me come out of my slow daze, my inner monologue. "You've been wiping that counter for like three minutes straight."

My hand reeked of ammonia when I pulled back. The small spot of dirt I'd been trying to clean was long gone, and I observed my wrist was sore. "Oh. Yeah. It's clean."

She laughed, set down the pillow she was shimmying into a pillow case, and walked over to rest her hands on my hips. "I can see that," she said, her voice full of mirth. "Are you OK love?"

"I'm perfect," I smiled down at her. She was shorter than me, maybe that's why sometimes she seemed so young. Right now though, the look she was shooting up at me wasn't young or innocent. It was full of pure lust, absolute need.

"Want to get something to eat?" she asked huskily. "Take a little break?" I could hear the suggestion dripping in her tone. I didn't remember the exact moment my Bella had become a seductress, but the longer we were together, the more confident she was, and the more I found myself tempted to bed by her as often as I dragged her there. I loved to know how much she loved and wanted me.

"What did you have in mind?" I smirked. I brushed her hair out of her face with the back of my fingers, tucking it behind her ear. She tilted her head into my hand, smiling back at me sweetly. Sweet and spicy. That was my girl. I loved her sweet, but now I was definitely ready for some spice.

"Maybe a little... pudding?" Her eyes were sparkling as she pulled away, stepping backwards towards the fridge. I remembered our shopping trip, and the little packages of pudding we'd picked up as a last minute purchase. I liked where this was going. I leaned up against the counter, watching her pull off the top and take a long lick off the lid. She was teasing me, her eyes glinting with mischeif.

"Sounds good to me baby," I said, and crossed my arms across my chest, watching her play. She was still new to the concept of seduction, and sometimes her moves were a little corny. I adored her "sexy voice"; it was high and breathy and sometimes sounded like she was straight out of a porno.

Bella had been the first to introduce true porn into our relationship, and holy shit had it been hot. Just as I had turned on _Better than Chocolate _when we'd first met, one night as we were lounging in bed, Bella had casually flipped on the DVD player in her bedroom, and on popped a video entitled _Luxurious Ladies. _My eyes had widened as I looked up at her, noting the blush that covered her entire face and neck.

"Bella, what is this?" I had asked. The blush deepened. "Bella...?"

"I just thought... maybe this might be fun," she had mumbled, clearly nervous about what she'd just done. The girls on the screen were now making out. I liked the way they worked. "I can shut it off if-"

I had turned up the volume, rolled over to face her, and said, "Monkey see, monkey do."

She had gulped.

My focus quickly snapped back to my girl, live and in person, as she swirled her tongue around her finger, savoring the chocolate pudding she'd dipped her finger into. God, I wanted my lips to be the ones wrapping around her finger. Or better yet, my tongue swirling around hers, sucking lightly and tasting the sweetness off of her. I couldn't wait anymore.

"Baby, give me a taste," I whispered, and before she could scoop some of the pudding onto her finger again, I grabbed her free hand and smashed my lips against hers, instantly deepening the kiss, sucking on her tongue lightly. The flavor of chocolate and Bella exploded on my tongue, and I moaned loudly.

There was a moment where Bella fumbled to set the cup of pudding on the counter, and then she was pressed up against me, her arms around my neck, her leg hitching up around my waist... She was whimpering and moaning just as I was, as our tongues played together in the rhythm as old as time.

I don't know how long we stood in our tiny kitchen making out, but eventually I needed to lay down. Bella's kisses always made my knees a little weak. "Bed..." she mumbled, as if she were reading my mind. We kicked off our shoes, disconnecting our kiss just for a moment, panting into each others mouths as we moved back towards our brand new bed.

We were going to christen the hell out of it...

She spun us around so that my knees hit the back of the bed, and we went tumbling over the edge, her weight pressing against me as we kissed again. We parted when we tugged each others shirts over our heads, but otherwise we were fused together, not wanting to break the bond we had, the connection. The energy flowing between us was unlike any I'd ever felt, with her or anyone else. I wanted and needed her more than I ever thought possible; I wanted to worship and caress her, make her know how much I loved her.

We'd made love before, but I wanted tonight for tonight to be the one where she knew without a single doubt in her mind that I loved and adored her above all else, that I wasn't planning on going anywhere. That someday I wanted the white picket fence, the house in the 'burbs and maybe even a baby. The American Dream with two missus.

When we were both naked, and her gloriously warm body was pressed up against mine, I sighed, and pulled her into a deep, passionate kiss. Our hands drifted, hers grasping at my chest while mine moved over her curves, resting on the swell of her ass. "I love you so much baby," I moaned against her lips. I wanted to get closer, crawl inside of her so we could be one.

Her hips ground against me as I kissed down her neck, scraping my teeth lightly against her collarbone. "Yes," she hissed, and tweaked my nipples with her fingertips. "Yes Rosie, please!"

"Ride me baby, rub your pussy with mine," I whispered. My hands slid down her thighs, parting her legs until they straddled mine. She sat up, her fingers trailing down my chest, between my breasts, and resting on my stomach. Her eyes were heavily-lidded, looking deep into mine as she started to grind against me. "Shit..."

I grabbed her hips and helped as she rode me slowly, our eyes locked together. She was gorgeous as she rubbed her pussy on mine, and I could feel how with each passing movement, she got wetter and wetter. And so I was I. I could feel it coating my thighs, feeling how swollen I was because of her. Always from her.

"Oh Rose," she gasped, grasping my hand and holding on tight as she sped up. I could feel my body start to tense at the friction, gasping as Bella pulled away for a moment, only to set our pussies more perfectly together, and increase the friction. "OH!" She threw back her head as her mouth fell open. "FUCK!"

"God, I know baby!" I cried out, knowing exactly how she was feeling right about now. I was right there with her. I couldn't stop moaning, panting, grasping for her. I think my fingers were digging into her so hard I'd leave bruises, but I couldn't stop. I was so close...

"AH!" she cried out once more, her hip thrusting faltering as she came hard against me. I wasn't far behind, calling out her name as my pussy clenched hard, aching for her fingers or her tongue to fill me next. Mmm, maybe next time...

Bella collapsed against me, and I kissed the top of her head as we both came down from our highs. Her slick skin felt like heaven against mine, and I left an open bite on her shoulder, tasting her salty skin. "I love you so much baby," I whispered, and she whispered it right back. This was right. This was the place I wanted to be, quite possibly forever.

* MD *

Classes were officially kicking my ass. It was the very last semester of the last year as an undergrad, and I wanted to go out with a bang. But so far, I was barely going to pass with a pop. I was behind on everything, and living with Bella wasn't exactly helping. She was always a welcome distraction, and at first, not much changed. But as time progressed, it was becoming more and more clear that I needed a study space, a place to focus so that I could come home and not feel guilty that I wasn't getting my bio-engineering reading done.

"Babe, I'm going to the library tonight," I called as she looked up from the pile of books, laptop, and papers surrounding her on the couch. She was adorable in her black framed glasses resting on the very bottom of her nose, her lips puckering into a small pout.

"Why? I'm almost done. I was thinking we could watch something tonight and have some popcorn." Cue the doe eyes that always had me melting.

"That's so tempting baby, but I have to get this reading done or I'm going to have some real problems in class."

Her shoulders drooped even as she nodded. "OK, that makes sense. Well..." She looked down at the mess around her. "I guess I can work on this a little bit longer then too. Call me if you need me to come get you."

I grinned and nodded, grabbing my bag that must have weighed fifty pounds. "I'll see you later baby."

She was already buried in her books again as I went to shut the door behind me. I hated leaving her but I knew I needed focus. My parents would tolerate anyone I brought home with me, but poor grades they most certainly would not.

The library was quiet that time of night. Most people were hanging out near the computer lab, and the study rooms were only half full as I passed by, heading to the back of the third level of the library, to my favorite corner. Yes, I, Rosalie Hale, had a favorite spot in the library. So sue me.

I sunk into the leather chair and opened up my bag. I had over two hundred pages to skim over thanks to my procrastination, but at least all it was was a reading assignment or I really would have been fucked. I dug in, but after an hour, my eyes were already blurry. I thought about putting on my iPod to wake me up a bit, but I knew that would just lead to other forms of procrastination; it always did.

Still, even without the mechanical distractions, I jumped when I heard something slam behind me. "Shit!" I exclaimed, as I turned around and saw my classmate, James. "You scared me, douchebag!" James was a guy from another frat that I knew somewhat well, and had hooked up with once on a drunken Halloween. I was the sexy nurse, he was Navy captain. He was a decent kisser, but a lousy lay.

God, I felt guilty when I thought about my past...

"Rose, what the hell are you doing here?" he asked, setting down the rest of his stuff on the table just behind me. "I didn't know you even knew where this place was. There's no tanning beds around here." He laughed as if he were the most hilarious person on the planet.

"Ha. Ha," I deadpanned, and turned back to my book. He didn't take the hint.

"For Jenks, huh? I gotta get that shit done too," he said, in a lame attempt at conversation. He was failing; I wasn't interested. "So you hitting the Sig party next weekend?" he went on, and I sighed loudly.

"No, I won't be," I snapped. "James, I'm trying to read-"

"Is it cuz you're with your little chica now?" I spun around in my chair to glare at him, only to find him smirking at me. "It's all over campus. I didn't know you really meant it Rosie, I thought that was all for show."

"Maybe it used to be," I seethed. "But it isn't now."

He laughed, throwing back his head and revealing his ponytail. I hated ponytails on men. Loathed them, really. "Why don't you bring her by? I'm sure she'd like to see the way you used to party."

OK, that was it. I snapped my book shut, and shoved it into my bag so hard I heard a seam rip. "Shut your goddamned mouth, James," I warned, and stormed off before he could get in another word.

I was in tears by the time I got home. My head was filled with negative thoughts and seedy memories that I wished I could scrub away with bleach. No amount of therapy could take away the guilt I felt pressing against me.

Bella was zonked out on the couch, and barely twitched as I came in the room, even as the wind blowing through rustled her papers around. She was so perfect, so innocent. When had she ever used someone? Slept with a stranger, smoked anything that wasn't legal, used blowjobs to get what she wanted? Never, that's when. A sob escaped my throat as I looked at her, sleeping on our couch, undoubtedly waiting for me. Trusting me with her heart.

What had I done? Why had I been such a... a... slut? A bitch? A terrible person who deserved every single remark I was given. And why did it bother me so much? I never used to care. I never used to give a shit about what people thought about me, and now it all seemed to matter. I didn't care who I stepped over so long as I got what I wanted.

And why did it matter? I knew the answer to that already. It was all because of Bella. For better or worse, she had changed me. And all I could do was hope and pray that my past wouldn't matter to her. Because it was time to lay it all out of the table, be honest. She had to know what she was truly getting herself into.

**A/N II: Has your past ever come back to haunt you? Leave me some love! Your reviews truly keep me going. :-)**


	11. Shit, Meet Fan

**A/N: Sorry about the wait, I'm still settling into my new position at work! Someday I'll learn to balance everything. **

**Disclaimer: Nah, I don't own it. I do know all about loving a woman though. ;-)**

By the time Bella woke up, I had calmed down. I had moved some of her papers and settled on the end of the couch so I could stroke her ankle where her pant leg had ridden up. I was pissed off at James, and I still felt a wash of shame when I thought about my past, but the panic that had slid around my stomach and came close to wrapping around my throat had dissipated. Just being next to her helped me calm down, and the red that had been flashing before my eyes faded.

"Hey," she whispered groggily, turning towards me. The papers she had been laying on rustled as she moved. "Was I sleeping?"

I laughed lightly, squeezing her calf. "Just a little bit, yeah." I'd been sitting beside her for almost an hour now, lost in my thoughts. "You're so cute when you sleep."

She smiled at me, and the final tiny knot that I'd still felt melted away. Bella already knew my past was less than stellar. She'd known it before she'd ever started a relationship with me. I had to have faith that she wouldn't hold it against me now.

"Did you finish your reading?" She struggled to sit up. "Ouch, my arm is asleep!" She whacked it a few times, and we laughed together.

I helped her up, and she snuggled into my side. My arms wrapped around her, and we just sat there for awhile, holding each other. I was trying to find the courage to say something, anything. I didn't like secrets; I was always known, at the very least, to be candid and honest. Even through all my faults, no matter what, people knew exactly how I was feeling.

"I saw James at the library, remember that guy with the gross ponytail?" I finally said.

"Yeah?" Bella's face was slightly muffled into my left breast. It tickled, and I rubbed my cheek into the top of her head a little more.

"Yeah. He... he said some things that upset me." I swallowed hard, and concentrated on the poster of Audrey Hepburn we'd hung over our TV. "Things you should probably know if you're going to be with me."

And then Bella did something that shocked the hell out of me. She turned to me, her eyes blazing, and said, "Don't listen to that fucker. He doesn't know what in the hell he's talking about." Her jaw was so tight, I could have sworn I heard her teeth grinding together.

"Wha- what do you mean? How do you know what he said?"

She sighed and slumped down in her chair. "I saw him in the library once too."

Now it was my turn to grit my teeth. "What did that motherfucker say to you? What did he tell you?"

"That part doesn't matter," she said, waving her hand with dismissal, talking quickly. "I barely listened. I don't care what things you might have done in the past. I know that's not you now. I know you'd never do those things to me. Your past doesn't matter to me, just the present and future." She said this all fiercely, and I knew she really meant it. I believed her.

She left me breathless.

I didn't know what to say, so instead I leaned forward, tilting her head up so my lips could find hers. She tasted as sweet as her heart was, and I could feel my own heart splitting open with love for her, swelling so quickly it felt like I almost couldn't breathe. This woman, this person I loved with all my heart and soul, she loved me too. More than I ever thought I could deserve.

We stayed like that, kissing and silently reassuring each other, for several minutes. They weren't kisses of lust or passion, but of tenderness and love, and I didn't want them to end. So when Bella pulled back, I just moaned and pressed my lips to hers a little more closely, deepening the kiss ever so slightly. "No..."

"Babe, the-" she started, but I pounced on her once more. Our kisses were intensifying, even as she seemed to pull away. "Babe..." she moaned once more against my lips. "The-"

I was getting lost in her, needing to touch her, be closer to her. This didn't start out as sexy, but I was more than willing to change the pace a bit. And then hazily, barely discernable, I heard a knocking sound. The blood was pumping through my ears, a dull roar, so it took a minute for me to realize there was a knock on the door. "Dude, open up!"

I pulled back from Bella with a resounding groan, one that she shared with me. Despite her half-protests, she was looking as twat-blocked as I felt; her eyes were narrowed at the door as if cursing the door and whoever was behind it.

I knew exactly who was there, and I was _so _not in the mood for it right now. "Fucking Tanya," I growled.

"Rosalie, I know you're in there!" she called, pounding on the door with what sounded like her open palm. "Please answer!"

My legs felt like rubber as I stood to answer the door. I shot Bella one last apologetic look before unlocking the door and swinging it open. There she stood, my ex-lover of sorts, shivering from the cold, dark mascara running down her face. "Oh my god Rosie, you won't BELIEVE this-" She pushed past me, barging into the living room, and babbling about something in the sorority house. "And why you ever left us I will never understand, in our SENIOR year, Rosie, SENIOR! Oh!" She had noticed Bella. Her face morphed from hysteria to a certain kind of coldness that I had seen many times, mainly when she thought someone was lesser of her. I didn't like it one bit. Bella gave a small smile, and I just stared between the two of them.

Well, this was awkward.

Bella, to her credit, stood and offered her hand. "It's nice to finally meet you Tanya," she said sweetly. "I've heard a lot about you."

"Um... same..." Tanya said, getting that neutral look on her face when she was clearly trying not to say what she really thought. I knew all of her facial expressions, seen this particular face before, thousands of times. I hadn't ever minded before, but now when it was directed towards my girlfriend... yeah. Not so indifferent now.

"I'm going to brush my teeth now," Bella said, pointing towards the bathroom and nodding silently to me. She was giving me space to talk to Tanya. Be still my heart, my girl was a saint. "See you later Tanya."

"Yeah sure," Tanya said dismissively, flouncing on the couch to take Bella's spot. I sighed, willing Tanya away. I realized then I'd never truly seen my friend before. Not the way I was seeing her now. I'd seen her as a party girl, as a make out buddy, as an occasional sex partner, a sorority sister I'd leaned on for everything from shopping trips to makeup disasters. Now... It was plain to see our friendship had had little substance and had more to do with using each other. Like she was doing now. "Oh my GOD, Rosie, I just can't believe Kim would do this to me! I mean honestly, she stole Jerry... I mean... um... Jared, right from out under my nose! It was SO obvious he was into me, and I walked away for a split second and I turn around, and her tongue is down his fucking throat and I mean, come on, I could get anyone I want, but Jared was looking so fucking hot, and I just know he wanted me, cuz who fucking wouldn't, and Kim is supposed to be one of my best friends..."

She kept on like this for more than twenty minutes, rambling about her lost hookup, and how mad she was at Kim, now that she and said potential hookup were apparently going hot and heavy now. She kept talking about friendship and betrayal and how not even Kate could console her these days. I wondered briefly if Garrett was still around or not. Kate was favoring female to male more often than not nowadays. Not that I could blame her... _Geez Rosalie, random thoughts much?_

I shook my head slightly and tried to focus on the words that were spilling from Tanya's raspberry painted mouth. There was a smidge of lipstick on her front tooth, and I stared at it, wondering if I should tell her. I just didn't know what to do. I felt so distanced from that life now, and while a small part of me ached for it, missed those days when gossip and drama lived first in my heart, I just couldn't bring myself to muster any enthusiasm for it. I loved the nights where Bella and I stayed up talking, about our lives, our future, our families. Where we had been and where we were going. Of building a real life with someone. No one could live in the sorority house forever.

"Well, maybe it's just a sign that you aren't meant for Jared," I finally offered. "Maybe he and Kim are really happy."

Tanya stared at me as if I'd grown a second head. "Jesus, Rosie, I thought you were my friend."

"I am your friend," I insisted. "I'm just saying... maybe you should let this one go. You'll find someone else T. Besides, you didn't even remember what his name was."

"I can't believe you!" Tanya exclaimed, sounding incredulous and three octaves higher than before. Oh Lord, here we go. The infamous switch inside of her had flipped, the one that made it so difficult for me to be her roommate when we were younger. It was like she had gone undiagnosed with bipolar disorder or something, the way her mood would snap so fast that no one could make her see reason. "I need you to tell me he's missing out, that he's a loser and she's a bitch! My real friends would back me up on this! Goddamn Rosie, you've changed. Is it Little Miss Priss over there?" Her face was flushed now.

"Don't you dare talk about her like that," I hissed, my guard instantly going up as she brought Bella into the conversation. "You don't even know Bella, and whose fault is that? You stopped coming around as soon as I met her. I never stopped calling you, asking you to join us on nights out, texting you, posting things on your Facebook. All I did was move out, that's all that changed between us, minus, you know... that... and suddenly I'm the bad guy? Leave her out of this!"

"You just disappeared on me, Rosie! All of a sudden it was all about her, you dropped me like I didn't matter anymore. I just wanted to hang with you, not with you and your little... side thing! Did you ever think that I might not have wanted this to end between us?" She gestured wildly between us. "That it was more than just a little romp for me? And now you've moved on, literally, and I can't do anything about it! _Saint_ Bella-"

In this moment, I was beyond reason too. I was sick to death of this shit, especially after my little encounter with James earlier, and I found myself retorting nastily. "You just want someone to be there for you on your every beck and call Tanya!" I shouted. The red I was seeing earlier, oh yeah, it was back, and with a vengeance. I'd never been one to fight, but now I was livid. I was about to deck a bitch. "You used me too, ya know? I was just as convenient for you as you were to me. You never wanted me, you just wanted someone to take care of your _needs." _

But I clearly hadn't analyzed the situation properly. Tanya's face crumpled, and I immediately felt like shit. In that flash of an instant, somehow, I realized I was wrong about her, at least in the way she had felt about me. For me, it had all been fun, something and someone to do between boyfriends or when I was feeling down. It had been more for her. And I felt like a complete bitch. I hadn't even realized how my supposed best friend had felt, hadn't really taken three seconds to contemplate her. Had I really been such a terrible person before? Fuck my life.

"Tanya, I'm sorry-" I tried to backpedal, but even then I knew it was fruitless.

"No. No, just... no," she said, a tear falling down her cheek. "I'm done Rose, I'm done. Have a good... life, whatever, I don't care anymore." Her face was pale, her flush of anger completely gone.

"But..." She was walking out the door, slamming it behind her. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck... I could feel the tears well up, the words rise up into my throat as I collapsed onto the couch. Well, that did not go well.

Bella cleared her throat behind me. I didn't even know I had been crying until I looked up at her and the tears began to land on my cheeks, fat and extra wet. Today was a day from hell, and subconsciously I knew I'd had it coming, but I swear, I didn't realize it until just now. What kind of monster had I been? It hadn't even been that long ago, less than a year. Could I really have changed so quickly? Or was I still the same person, hiding away and waiting to use Bella when the time was right? No. I refused to believe that. But it was hard to believe, now that sobs were starting to wrack my body.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, and then folded into myself. It was silent in the room, except for my sobs, and I thought Bella had walked out, just like Tanya had, just like everyone else had in the past, but no. Seconds later, Bella was on the couch beside me, wrapping her arms around me, kissing my temple and rocking us slowly.

"Just let it out Rosalie," she whispered. Her warm body was so comforting, and I wondered again what in the hell I had done to deserve her. What did I owe karma for her? "Just get it out, don't let it build up and fester."

My pride broke down totally and I cried and cried and cried, letting the sobs carry me until I was hiccuping and snorting and looking as much like hell as I had ever let myself look like in front of another person. No one had ever seen me this way, not even my parents. But then, until now, I had never felt remorse about my past acts. And now it all had come crashing down, and I was dealing what with adults had always called "consequences." Well, I see what they were going on about now. And it fucking sucked.

"I'm so sorry," I cried again. The front of Bella's t-shirt was covered in tears, snot, and slobber, and I pulled back to wipe at it a little. "I'm sorry about all of it. I don't know how I can make it better..."

"Let's go to bed," she said softly. "We can talk about this later, if you want to. But you have nothing to explain to me."

I followed her to our bed. So many mixed emotions were going through me that I felt suffocated. But Bella reached out to me, pulled me close, and let me cry myself to sleep. Because somehow, some way, she loved me. And I didn't know if I could ever fully wrap that around my brain, to know that she loved me so unconditionally.

I didn't deserve it, but I'd take it.

**A/N II: Oh dear... When it rains it pours, eh? I know how that feels. Did you ever have one of those moments when you think, "How could it get any worse?" and then it does? Reviews are love. ;-)**


	12. Can of Corn

**A/N: Another update? What is this? Well, lately I've just felt like writing, and so here you go. Another chapter in the saga of Bella and Rose. LOL. I'm honestly not sure how many more chapters there will be. Life, as I've said before, is crazy, but I'm trying hard to not forget about my stories, and keep them coming to you! I appreciate each and every review. :-) You guys are great. **

**Disclaimer: I make money selling undies. Not books. Yet. ;-)**

Spring break was just around the corner, and Bella and I were trying to make plans. Key word: trying. We couldn't decide where to go. Money, as always, was a factor, and of course, we both had entirely different ideas of what would be fun.

"But baby, don't you want to be warm? Lie out on the beach, grab a book, maybe get a little tan…" I rubbed my fingers down her arm suggestively, grinning when she blushed. "Come on, it'd be fun."

Bella wrinkled her nose. "That sounds so_ boring_. When I go on vacation, I want museums, historical sites; you know… stuff to do. Just laying in some dirty sand sounds horrible."

I made my best persuasive pouty face. "Come on, it's not dirty. Not where I'd take you. I promise, it'll be quiet, beautiful, warm…" I kissed her neck for effect. "And there's probably some like, pirate wreck we could go visit."

She chuckled lightly, even as she shivered under my touch. "Babe, I highly doubt there were pirate wrecks off the coast of California. Particularly not near San Diego."

"Hey, you never know!" I said defensively, even though she was probably right.

"Baby, why are you pushing this issue so much?" she asked, wrapping her arms around me. "Can't we compromise? How about San Francisco?"

"The beaches aren't warm there," I whined, but that was the furthest reason from the truth. I had just found out that Tanya, Kate, and a few of our other sorority sisters were going to San Fran for the week, and I didn't want to go within a mile of those girls right now. Tanya was a persistent gossip, and I knew how she acted when she was hurt. According to her, right now I'd be Public Enemy #1, even if the girls had no idea of the real reason Tanya was mad at me.

I'd have Bella and I vacation in Florida, or even back home to Texas if we could have afforded the flights. San Diego would do nicely though. I'd spent a summer there with Jasper and our aunt when I was sixteen, and well, let's just say I'd spent a little too much time "down by the docks" as it were. Military men were yummy. But I digress. This would be an entirely different experience with Bella though. I couldn't wait.

That is, if she'd agree with me.

"Do we really have to go someplace warm?" she asked. "I hate heat."

"This time of year it won't be hot, I promise. Just warm enough that you won't need your jacket all the time."

"Well that does sound nice…" she hedged, and I could see the walls she'd put up against the San Diego idea start to crumble. "Can I think about it and get back to you on it?"

I laughed at her adorable office talk. "Sure, just don't think too long, I found some amazing deals on the flights and hotel, and I don't want to miss out on it. They'll get grabbed up really fast these days."

"OK." Bella cuddled closer into me, and we turned back to the movie we'd been watching.

Things between Bella and I since the little blowup with James and Tanya had been… not different. Just slightly more tense in some moments. Whenever we'd get frisky, there'd be this moment where I could tell she was thinking. I couldn't read it plain across her face, but I could tell she was remembering the words Tanya had said, the things that James had said to her. I know she didn't judge me for my past; everything she ever did proved that to me in spades, on a daily basis. But I know she could hear those words echoing, and it killed me.

I vowed that this trip would erase all those thoughts from her brain.

Later, after the DVD was well over and we were making out on the couch, Bella pulled back, just as I was doing that thing with my tongue that I knew she loved, and announced, "I think we should go to Arizona."

"Wait, what?" I was still in a Bella haze.

"Arizona. It's warm, so you can't complain, but there are things to do. Pueblos and baseball and stuff. The Grand Canyon even."

"Umm… you were thinking of all this as we were making out?" I tried to sound offended, but really it just made me want to laugh. She was so cute sometimes. Wait, make that always.

"Well, I mean I was just thinking…" Her voice dropped down, along with her face. She was staring at her hands now.

"What is it babe?" I asked, whispering to match her tone. I tucked her hair behind her ear and waited for her to speak.

Her hand rose up to the necklace around her throat, and I started to piece things together. Then she spoke. "My dad always wanted to go to spring training. They do that, the Mariners, in Arizona. He'd been saving up to go down there, but then he got sick…" She drifted off, her eyes clouding with tears. "Anyways, I think it would be nice, in his memory, you know? And I don't think the tickets would be that expensive. I mean the Mariners aren't exactly the best team in the AL, now are they?" She laughed then, and a tear dripped down her chin as she did.

I couldn't help but give her a puzzled look. I knew zip about baseball, and even less about how and when they trained. But it was something that was important to her, and after the hell I'd been putting her through lately with all the drama and angst and self understanding, I needed to give this to her.

"Well… I've always wanted to see the Grand Canyon," I told her, and she grinned. "Maybe there'll be a pool at the hotel we could stay at."

She beamed at me. "Exactly."

"Should I look up tickets?" I asked.

"Mmm, we can finish kissing first," she said shyly.

"Well I have no plans on stopping soon, so if you want to make reservations, we should probably do it now," I teased.

*MD *

Two days before the flight to Phoenix, I had a revelation. It had come to me in a flash, just as I was going to bed. Tanya. It was something she'd told me months back, before Bella and I had even gotten together. _"It's- I mean... you're going to be an aunty."_

I don't know why it hurt, that she'd lied to me. The subject had been dropped so quickly, and then Charlie had died, and I'd been so involved with Bella that I hadn't realized Tanya had never grown, never had a baby, not even told me she'd gotten an abortion. I supported her right to choose, naturally, but that she hadn't told me she'd done it… that hurt. Especially since she'd been somewhat adamant that she wouldn't get rid of it.

Sometimes people just don't make any sense, I guess. And it was just further evidence of the crumbling of our friendship. She hadn't trusted me enough to confide in one of the biggest decisions of her life, and I suppose I hadn't included her in many of mine lately either.

It hurt, having a friendship fade that had once meant so much. Even on a shallow base, it had been important at the time, and no matter what, it sucks to lose a friend.

I shook my head. A lot of this process of... whatever I was doing... growing up I supposed, had to do with moving on. Changing the things in my life that were weighing me down. As awful as it sounded, Tanya was a big part of that, and I needed to accept that that part of my life was well and over.

It was time to pack up and head to Arizona.

* MD *

Bella was right, it was pleasantly warm in Phoenix as we deplaned. The sky was bright blue, unlike Seattle, and a balmy 75. There might not have been a lot of water in Arizona, but I could definitely sunbathe in this.

We held hands as we walked through the airport with our bags, following the signs for the rental car place. "Wow, I forgot about how busy this airport is," Bella laughed as we dodged people left and right.

"You've been here before?" I asked.

"Well... a few times actually," she said, frowning a little. "I don't know if I ever mentioned. My mom used to live here. Years and years ago, when her husband worked down here. She never had custody of me, but my dad let me come visit her a few times, that is once she had a stable house and everything."

"So she doesn't live here anymore?" I asked.

"God, no. My mom is a gypsy. Or at least, she loves to move. I doubt she's stayed in a place longer than a year before moving on. The only reason she stayed in Phoenix for three years or so is because she met a guy, who's now her husband, and his team was here."

"Team?" We were fast approaching the car rental counter.

"He's a minor league baseball player," she explained. "Well, when I was a kid he was. Now he's a coach, I think. He was never very good. But they live in Florida... or maybe New York now... I honestly don't know. She dropped all contact with me after I turned twelve."

My mom and I barely went a week without an email. Bella hadn't heard from her mom in more than ten years. I couldn't quite wrap my head around that. "Does she even know Charlie passed on?"

"No, and I doubt she'll ever know," she shrugged. She seemed nonchalant, but I knew Bella was pro at brushing off her feelings and acting like it didn't bother her. I dropped the subject as we got our keys for the car.

It was gorgeous, a black Dodge Charger, and I revved the engine a few times before we peeled out of the parking lot. There was nothing sexier than having a powerful car beneath you, feeling the smoothness of the engine-

"Geez Rose, slow down!" Bella squealed, interrupting my thoughts, and I wiggled my eyebrows before pushing the pedal a little harder. I rolled the windows down and let the wind whip through our hair as we sped down the freeway. I loved how the earthy tones of the land met with the clear blue of the sky, how dry and warm it was compared to the gray dampness of Washington that we'd been experiencing lately. I could get used to this. Bella held my hand, maybe more out of fear than affection, but that didn't matter to me. I had realized just how great this week was going to be.

* MD *

"So how well do you know baseball?" I asked as we walked sideways towards our seats. We held pop and hot dogs in our hands, and I was wearing a black baseball cap. The sun was already beating down on us, even though it was an early game, even in baseball standards. Bella had chastised me for the hat. "_You're a Washingtonian now Rose, you should be supporting the Mariners!" _She was wearing not only an M's cap, but a jersey with 51 on the back, for Ichiro. He was apparently the champion of the Mariners, and had been Charlie's favorite player.

"Well enough," said Bella, sitting in her seat and hissing as it radiated heat into her delicate skin. The sun was baking now, hotter by the minute, and I busted out some tanning lotion. Hey, when opportunity knocks… "I only grew up watching, at the very least, a game a day in the summer. Plus my dad would coach the little league teams I was on," she added.

I tried to picture Bella as a child, swinging a bat that was too big for her and racing across the bases. Adorable. I imagined she would have gotten the same determined look on her face that she did now, whenever she was facing a daunting task. She'd get little wrinkles in her forehead, waiting for the ball to race her way.

"My dad's into football," I said. "It's kinda huge in Texas. He really hoped Jasper would play in high school, but he never made it past the PeeWee teams." We laughed. "I did sports when I was a kid, but only cheerleading and swimming in high school. I was never one for competitive sports."

"That's funny, I imagine you'd kick some ass if you were on a team," Bella smirked. She was always teasing me that I was kind of like a pit-bull; tough, determined to get what I want, and surprisingly sweet when I wanted to be. I supposed that was a compliment…

Bella gave me a running narrative as the game began, and it was instantly clear that she knew exactly what she was talking about. Her father had taught her well. I tried to keep up, but she was so into the game that there were times when she'd stop giving me a play by play, to jump up and start screaming at the umpire, or to encourage someone to "run faster, you dumb bastard!" We laughed and cheered and devoured our hot dogs as the game went on. It was a blast.

But then there were moments throughout the game where she seemed wistful, sad. She fingered the locket around her neck often, and my heart went out to her. I knew that no matter how much she loved me, she didn't want me here, not really. She wanted her dad, and I wished more than anything that I could give that to her.

The Mariners lost, which according to Bella wasn't a big surprise. "They've got all newbs out there," she said disdainfully. "They traded so many great players that honestly, they've only got a handful of players that truly know the game and can lead them into a good season." She sighed. "Oh well. Maybe this'll be the magic combination, the year we go to playoffs. You just never know with baseball."

It was late afternoon now, and even though we'd eaten hot dogs, I was starving. "Wanna go get something to eat?" I asked. I had Googled some good places to eat around the area, and there was a Mexican place that sounded divine just a few miles down the road.

"Sure, sounds good to me," she smiled, and we headed through the crowds to our car. Bella dropped her voice and whispered in my ear as we walked hand in hand towards the Charger. "And after dinner, could we have some dessert?" She bit her lip. I knew what that meant. And oh yes, I was very interested.

I smirked at her. "Well of course baby. You know how I love dessert."

**A/N II: Yay for baseball! I'm a huge Mariners fan, and have been LONG before SM even thought of Twilight. PNW pride baby! Yeah, I love them even though they suck... hahaha. Also, I HATE Dodge Chargers, but I figured Rosalie would probably like it. :-P Let me know what you think!**


	13. Alfredo

**A/N: Life got busy again... seeing my girl was the best busy possible. :-) Now I'm sick as a dog... you may understand parts of it from the end of my chapter. Haha. **

**I've been fail at replying to reviews, and updating on time, and I'm really sorry! Please bear with me, I plan on seeing this fic through. :-) I love and appreciate all of your reviews, it truly does keep me writing and posting. :-)**

**Disclaimer: As you well may know, I make no money off of it.**

"I don't know how you stand this heat!" Bella was fanning herself as she drove (much more "sensibly" than I did, at least according to her). "I hated coming here in the summer, and this is only the end of March! I'm burning up!" Phoenix apparently didn't always agree with my girlfriend.

"Babe, I grew up in Texas, someday I'll take you there in the dead middle of the summer and you'll be begging for this weather!" I grinned.

"Oh hush," she snapped, her mouth twisted in a firm frown. Little beads of sweat were gathering on her upper lip and forehead, and her cheeks were flushed red, from heat and sun. OK, so the heat _definitely _did not agree with my girlfriend.

"Need me to pull over and get you something?" I asked. We were just passing by a grocery store as I said it.

"Yes, please," she said, adding, "we could pick up something for dinner too, in the hotel."

A night in. That sounded most excellent. We parked and walked briskly into the store. Bella looked relieved at the air conditioning, and made a beeline to the frozen foods section to pick out dinner, while I wandered, looking for a pack of batteries. Those were for... well, you can probably figure that one out for yourself. It had been two days since we'd used our little buddy, but he was slowing down from consistent use, and he needed a refresher for what I had planned for tonight.

"Babe, do you want beef stroganoff or lasagne?" Bella asked as I joined her in the frozen foods. I noted with a bit of satisfaction that her nipples were ready to greet me as I stood beside her.

"I was actually hoping I'd find something a little spicier," I said, poking through the selections.

"No, no, no. If you want to go down on me tonight, there's no way I'm letting you eat spicy food! Not again!" Bella exclaimed, and snapped her mouth shut immediately, flushing instantly. A woman with a cart full of groceries and a toddler in the basket walked by just then, shooting us a look of something mixed between amusement and disdain. "Shit," Bella whispered, and bit her lip as she looked into the freezer again.

"So fettucini alfredo then?" I teased quietly, and she nodded, biting the inside of her cheek now. I could tell she was now trying to hold back the laughter, and I was right there with her.

We quickly made our purchases, and headed back for the hotel. We used the complimentary microwave in our room, and dug in. I hadn't realized how famished I'd been until I was twirling my plastic fork into the noodles and white sauce. "Fuck, I'm starving," I moaned. "This is amazing."

She giggled, taking another bite of her lasagne. "It has been a long day, huh?"

"I don't want to go back," I frowned. This week had been perfect; Bella paying homage to her dad, making his pilgrimage, spending evenings driving through the desert, our afternoons in the air-conditioned hotel room, making love and watching movies, other times just exploring the area. I never thought going to a museum in Phoenix could be as exciting as volleyball and booze in Cancun, but somehow, magically, it was ten times better.

Bella scraped the last of her sauce from the bottom of the black microwave tray, just as I slurped the last noodle down. She licked her lips slowly, and I nearly moaned with the suggestiveness of the act. She was so beautiful, even when she wasn't intending to be. Sexier than anyone had the right to be... except maybe myself. I smirked.

"Are you ready for... dessert?"

"More than," she winked, and waltzed into the bathroom without another word. I could hear her running the sink, flushing the toilet... the tell-tale signs she was getting ready for sex. It was a routine now, unless I jumped her. Usually she emerged wearing something silky, or lacy, but she hadn't brought anything in with her. Which meant...

"Ahem," Bella cleared her throat. I looked up, startled from my erotic thoughts, to see the vision I'd just been imagining. Bella was naked, completely bare for me, and grinning like a fool. "All you can eat buffet?" she joked, stepping towards me. God, I loved it when she teased me like this.

"I always like a cream pie," I smirked, and she flushed brilliantly, from her chest up. Her nipples were tight and hardened, and I yearned to slip one between my lips. She sat next to me on the bed, on her knees, and looked at me expectantly.

"What, you show up naked and then expect me to seduce you?" I asked, my lips twitching. Other parts of me were twitching too, and quivering as well. I wanted to be seduced.

Her eyes were dark and smouldering now, her fingertip grazing my bare knee. "I was just thinking, maybe I could tease you, ya know, since you're so good at teasing me." She bit her lip, and I loved where she was going with this.

Her fingers pushed past where my shorts stopped, stroking my inner thigh. "Mmm, you're so soft," she whispered.

A ragged breath left my body, sapping me of all thoughts but her, and the way both hands were now working slowly on my flesh, massaging, stroking, caressing. I felt like purring, the way she laid me back and touched me, her fingertips never going quite high enough to where I needed them. I was extremely wet, and still fully dressed. She was good, very good.

Finally, finally, she unbuttoned my pants, and had me lift my hips to get the fabric down my legs.

"You're so amazing," she whispered, fingering the wet patch on my underwear. I jumped, just from the sheer arousal and sensation of it all. A sound like a whimper escaped me, and I moved with her touch. She was driving me crazy, moving her hands where I needed them, then massaging my thighs further away, kissing up and down my neck, my shoulders, my lips, but all too briefly. When her lips wrapped around my clothed nipples, my eyes rolled up into the back of my head, grasping at her shoulders, trying to clutch her to me. It was too much and not enough, and I was overwhelmed by what she was making me feel. Above all else, it was love, not lust, that was moving through us now. She was making love to me and I was accepting it all.

Then she was pushing my underwear aside, and her tongue was diving in my pussy, and the world went black. "Fuuuuck yes Bella!" I whimpered as she went to town working my clit with her tongue and teeth. I was going to cum, and fast. My legs were lifting upwards, trying to lock her head in place, and she pulled back for breath, grinning up at me, her face wet with my juices. So fucking sexy. I watched as she kept her gaze locked on mine and leaned down to dart her pink tongue inside of me. I gripped her hair, and screamed with pleasure. Too much... I was going to cum any second...

"BELLA!" My walls clenched fast and hard around her tongue, and I know I was making obscene noises but they couldn't be helped. I felt so good it was insane. And now it was my turn to make her feel just as good...

* MD *

Things got back to normal once we got home. Spring Break had been amazing, but classes were as hectic as ever- in just a few months, we'd be graduating and then... Well, I wasn't quite sure what would happen next.

It was the kind of thing that had to be discussed with Bella, but I wasn't sure how to start. Would we stay here? Move to Texas? Had she found a job, an internship somewhere? I had no prospects yet, and no real idea of what I wanted to do. I had good grades, but the economy sucked. I wasn't sure what I wanted, so how could I expect to have any answers?

"I'm going to a study group at Starbucks now," Bella said, interrupting my thoughts as she hitched her book bag over her shoulder. It looked heavier than mine ever was at any given time.

"Geez, got enough to do?" I teased, looking up from my own book.

"This isn't that bad..." she said hesitantly, though she grimaced as she shifted her bag. "I shouldn't be gone too long, I'm just meeting with Mike and Mary for our final senior project. I hate group projects." She made another adorably frustrated face, and waved goodbye.

I got my homework done pretty quickly. If I had learned one thing from living with Bella, it was that you had a ton more time to do other things if you didn't procrastinate. Like have hot sex with your girlfriend for hours at a time. Or do your nails. Either way.

Just as I was giving the final touch on my simple, deep purple manicure, Bella came back, her face redder than usual, and a deep wrinkle in between her eyebrows.

"Couldn't you have opened a window before doing that?" she snapped, and walked into our bedroom without another word.

"Wha-?" I knew she didn't like group projects, but really, no need to take it out on me. Before I could venture after her to find out what was wrong, she flung herself back into the living room, and plopped into the armchair across from the couch.

"You want to know what that asshole Mike said to me today?" she asked without preamble. "He said he thought it'd be hot if he could join us, since he knows you also like cock."

I nearly choked on my tongue. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"I wish I were, or my knuckle wouldn't be so freaking sore from punching him in the jaw." She rubbed her hand like they do in movies, and my frown deepened. I crossed the room quickly to kneel beside her, and brushed my lips across her knuckles.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered. "This is all my fault."

"How is this your fault? You didn't raise him to be a sexist, disgusting pig."

"Baby, I've told you how I used to use my sexuality to get what I wanted from people," I sighed. "If I hadn't done that, they probably wouldn't blink twice. But they don't realize we're in a serious, committed relationship. They probably think I'm with you so I can get homework help or some shit."

"Ugh, morons," she growled. "I'm going to talk to my prof in the morning and see if I can just do this project alone, I don't need any help anyways. And I'm certainly not going to talk to Mike ever again. I hope his jaw hurts so much he can't talk for a week!" God, I loved a fiery Bella.

"We'll get past the bullshit," I promised. "Not everyone is a close minded or brain damaged as people like my uncle, James, or Mike. Or even Becca."

"God, I hope not," she said, lacing her fingers with mine. I squeezed gently, carefully. "They sure seem to be everywhere we look."

I snorted. "Yeah, that's true. But there are lots of people who will support us, who already have. This is a new age, thank God, I think we should be OK."

She smiled and held me close, tucking her chin into my neck. I could feel her warm breath across my body, and I wrapped my arms around her. Her skin was warm and soft right where her shirt rode up, and I placed light kisses on top her head. Almonds. That's what she smelled like, that new lotion she was using. Subtle and sweet, just like she was. I held her and once again was reminded of how perfect she was for me. These days were challenging, but I was gaining confidence in us. I could tell she was too, in the way she looked at me, and in the way she socked Mike Newton in the fucking jaw. I was proud of my girl. Considering this was her first relationship period, it was amazing she was sticking through it all with me. I could only hope and pray she would never stop.

* MD *

Just two days later, I got a cold. A bad cold. So bad I could only leave the bed to use the bathroom. My throat had swelled, aching and sharp pain shooting through me when I swallowed even grape juice. My eyes were practically glued shut with sleep, because that's all I could seem to do; even TV couldn't interest me. My lips were cracked, as was the skin under my nose, and I hadn't had the energy to shower in days so I knew there was a bad BO issue going on right about now. I shivered in bed for hours only to strip and pant while sweat poured out of me. Even my hair hurt. Influenza was the rough diagnosis, but I couldn't even manage to get to the doctor so I had no real idea. If this was the flu, I believed it. I felt like I'd been hit by a truck and then dragged through fire.

The entire week I was laid up in bed, Bella was my nursemaid. She kept the juice, tea, and hot soup coming, and threw out my garbage can if it got too full of Kleenex or other... fluids... She'd go to class, and I'd sleep, she'd do her homework, and I'd sleep, and later on she'd curl up in bed with me, hugging my overheated body and whispering to me.

In my fevered dreams, she left me, and tears would stream down my scorching face. Later on, I would dream of us making love, making forever vows. All my dreams were of Bella, even in roundabout, odd ways. And when I woke up, she was there, even if not physically. Her presence was everywhere and I couldn't picture life without her in it.

Fevers give you bizarre thoughts, but I knew it wasn't the fever talking. She... she was it.

**A/N II: Dawww... I love your reviews, please keep them coming! :-D**


	14. London Calling

**A/N: I'm sorry it's taken so long! I've been having medical issues, and the last thing that's been on my mind is writing, but now that I'm having some recovery time I also have some writing time, so I cooked this up. Unbeta'ed as always, so forgive me for that! Happy Holidays to everyone! And thank you so much for getting us over 200 reviews, you guys rock!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own much except hospital bills and student loans.**

"Babe... wake up... You're dreaming." Bella shook me gently, rousing me from the nightmare I'd been having, in which Alice and Jasper were getting married, and she was making me wear a bright pink bridesmaid dress, escorted by a drunken PeeWee Herman. Damn fever.

"S-sorry," I gasped. "Bad dream."

"Yeah, you kept mumbling something about a Playhouse and keeping their hands off."

"Eww," I shuddered, remembering all too graphically what she was talking about. My mouth was parched, and I leaned up on my elbow to get a sip of water from my bedside table. Or juice. Or whiskey, so long as it whetted my throat. "What time is it?"

"About seven," she said, rolling over to flick on the lamp on her side of the bed. "You've been sleeping for awhile now, I didn't want to wake you, but you didn't sound like you were enjoying yourself there." She looked amused, and less worried than she had in the past, so maybe I was looking better. I felt clammy in the sheets, but I supposed that could mean my fever had finally broken.

"I slept all day, huh?" It was darkening outside, and I'd fallen asleep at around noon, after the random History Channel show I'd been watching had changed.

"Do you feel any better?" Her face was closer to mine now, and if I weren't so completely sick, I'd have kissed her. I doubted she wanted a crusty-nosed kiss now. She felt my forehead and neck. "You feel cool."

"Yeah, I think so," I said, sitting up fully. I hated, purely loathed being sick. I hated feeling weak and vulnerable. Besides my family, no one but Bella had seen me this way, and I was grateful to her for not only accepting me in my lesser state, but for sticking to me through it. "I'm hungry."

"I can make you something," she said, sitting up too. "What do you feel like?"

"No, I want to make it," I said, slightly stubbornly. "Just toast, that's it."

"OK then baby," she said, walking with me to the kitchen. "I have to do some homework tonight, but later we could watch a movie, if you're feeling up to it." She was watching me carefully, but for some reason it didn't make me feel uncomfortable, just cared for. Like she was making sure I wasn't lying to her, but accepting that I wanted to do this for myself. I loved her for it. I hated to admit it, but I did feel wobbly on my feet, and woozy whenever I turned.

A deep cough rattled from my chest as I nodded. "Maybe we could watch Bridesmaids or something."

"Or something quicker," she suggested. "Like Arrested Development or something. Short but if you wanted to watch more, we could."

We'd been watching a lot of movies together lately, trying to catch up on shows we'd missed over the hectic semester, or things we thought the other should see. It was fun to catch up on Brat Pack movies, or awful rom-coms, or horror and sci-fi movies that were so bad they were good. And right now it sounded like the perfect thing. My nose was still running and my throat was raw, but I was awake enough to enjoy a few quirky episodes of my new favorite show. "That sounds perfect."

The toaster flipped up some hot pieces of golden bread, and a scouted out some peanut butter and a plate before spreading it on the toast, and taking a bite. It felt nice, like my appetite might just be coming back.

"What did you do today?" I asked. I figured Bella hadn't been hanging out in the apartment watching me sleep all day. That'd be a little weird... OK, that would creep me out.

"Well, went to class, of course. Saw Mike." She made a face that almost made me laugh. I coughed instead.

"What'd he say?"

"Nothing, in fact he almost ran from me, it was hilarious," she chuckled. She started in on her own piece of bread, slathering it in peanut butter untoasted. "I think I made my point with my fist."

"That's my girl," I toasted her, with, what else, toast. Asshats needed a reminder of their douche-y-ness from time to time if you asked me.

"Um..." Bella paused, taking another bite of her bread. "And I talked to my professor today."

"Which one?" I tried to think of a conversation we'd had recently about her classes and profs, but the meds I'd been taking weren't letting me absorb much lately. "Banner?"

"No, Cope." Oh yeah, her advisor. I remembered now that she was going to have a meeting today with her, about upcoming grad plans, which we had yet to discuss fully. "She asked me if I wanted an internship."

"That's great!" I beamed at her as best I could, instantly proud. "I knew you'd get something." OK, my knees were getting shaky now... I sat on the barstool we had in the corner, still munching tiny bites of my toast, which was getting cold quick. "Where at?"

"Well, it's for after graduation, of course," she started. She seemed nervous, paler than usual, which was odd. "And it's paid too, which makes it even better."

Again, I was incredibly impressed. I'd been working my butt off to get a paid internship pretty much anywhere, with little luck. More people than ever were scrambling for them after graduation, because it was hard enough to find a regular job. I wasn't top of my class, so I had to work that much harder for it.

"Baby, I'm so proud of you!"

"Thanks... Will... I mean, I need you to understand something first, before I tell you the rest." She was serious.

Well shit. That did not sound good, and I was not excited about it at all... I sat my toast down, bare on the counter. "What is it?"

"I want us to be together," she blurted out. "I want us to be _us _still. This is too important to me to give up."

Oh God. Something was wrong, very wrong. My heart started to pound, and my hands got cold. My hands only got cold when something was off-kilter or incredibly fucked up; I was freaking out and then I got a coughing jag.

"Shit." Bella raced to me with a box of Kleenex, rubbing my back as I hacked into the paper. It hurt worse, the way my heart was pounding and mixing with the grossness of my lungs.

When I was finally finished, I looked up at her with tearing eyes. "Tell me."

"It's for a year in England," she said, biting her lip. "I'd... well, hopefully we'd... be in England, starting this October. I... want to go, Rosalie. But I want you to come with me."

Oh. The pounding lessened, but my eyes still widened at her words. England. As in, Ye Olde? I'd never once thought of visiting there; who likes rain and fog and crooked teeth? And the food, I hear is just awful, as is the lukewarm beer. And driving on the wrong side of the road... Who the hell wants to live there?

Bella did. I could see it. It would be the perfect thing for her, the best place and the best opportunity. But was there room for me, could I do this?

"Wow," was all I could manage.

Bella knelt before me, fear in her eyes. "I know it's a lot to ask," she said, her hands firm on my arm. "But I just want to think about it, I mean it's something I need us both to be OK with before we make any decisions."

I hated making quick choices. But the decision had to be made, and I wasn't going to give her up just because I was scared. That wasn't something Rosalie fucking Hale did, not now, not ever. "I'll go."

"But... are you sure? I don't want to make a snap decision just because you think that's what I want to hear. I'm not going without you Rose, but I don't want you to resent me for it if we go and you hate it, and I really don't want to resent you because we didn't do it."

"I'm sure," I insisted. I was sure, but it was terrifying me. I'd always been the one to tell people to follow their hearts and been the very first to shout out Carpe Diem. I wasn't about to start changing my philosophy now, just because I was a little nervous about moving to an entirely new country. Still, I was breathing a little harder than usual.

"I'll let you really think about this," she said firmly. "You're sick. I want you to choose with a clear head."

* MD *

A week later, I was better, and we were still going to England. I was actually getting excited about it. Bella still wouldn't accept that I really wanted to go, so I was going to prove it to her. After all, I knew I wouldn't be giving her up, and a year and thousands of miles apart was simply unacceptable. I didn't have any job prospects here, and I was always game for an adventure. It's now or never, right?

"Babe, I need to go to the store real quick, need anything?" I poked my head around the corner, catching her looking up from a thick novel.

"I could come with you," she suggested, looking grateful for a break, but I put my hand up to stop her.

"You took care of me plenty last week when I was sick, I'm giving back now," I said, and she rolled her eyes. She hated when I tried to thank her for things, because she insisted she'd do it no matter what I said. Again, how much more could I love this woman? "Need anything?" I repeated.

"Nah, I'm good," she said, turning back to her book.

"Kay, I'll be back in a few," I said, grabbing my keys and purse, and ducking out of the apartment.

Once I got to the grocery store, I turned my thinking cap on. I really should have Googled English foods, the good kinds at least. What was it they ate? Bangers and mash? I figured mash had to be mashed potatoes, but what the hell was a banger? And I wasn't about to drink any room temperature beer, so I steered towards the refrigerated packs.

It was there where I ran into Emmett. "Hey!" he exclaimed, dimples and bright teeth on full display, and I grinned. It was so good to see him, and I felt good wrapped up in his giant arms when he went to hug me. "Whatcha doin', how's it goin'?"

"I'm moving to England!" I told him, doing a little 'ta-da' thing with my hands.

"What the fuck? Are you serious? That's fucking awesome dude!" And he gave me a high five, which I readily returned. "You're still graduating, right?"

I loved the guy, but he was being just plain silly now. "Of course, you moron," I laughed. "Bella got an internship, we leave in October. She wants me to make sure I'm sure I'll go with her, but I know..." I blushed as he looked at me knowingly. "It's the right choice. So I'm going to prove to her that I mean it, that I want to go."

"Stubborn as ever, my sweet little Rosie," he teased, and I socked him lightly on the arm. "I think that's great, really, I do."

"Thanks," I said, smiling at him. I hadn't realized just how much I'd missed him until just now. It had been months since I'd even ran into him, and I owed him a lot for his advice and friendship over the course of our friendship. "You know, we should hang out more."

"Totally. You and your girl are welcome any time at my place," he grinned. "My roomies miss you too Rosie. We need to plan something. Wii night or beer pong."

"Hell yeah!" Bella and I definitely needed a night like that, it had been far too long since we'd been to a party.

"So what are you getting?" He gestured to his own cart, which was full of PBR and Bud Lite.

"Um... something British," I concluded, looking at rows and rows of imported bottles. Shit, where to start? I usually just went for the hard stuff, I'd never been a huge fan of beer, though once wasted I daresay I usually will have a beer or three.

"Newcastle is good," Emmett supplied, reaching for a tall, brown bottle with a star in the middle. "Try that first."

"What about Guinness?"

"My God woman, that's Irish, not English, and they'd kill you for making the comparison," he laughed, shaking his head.

"Oops," I said with a laugh. "Good to know. I just know it looks like you could swim in it." I pinged the side of the bottle with my fingernails.

"Hey, it's a more like a meal than a drink," he said, to which I wrinkled my nose. What a visual. "So what else are you going to try?"

"I have no idea," I admitted, and so he helped me search out the perfect English items to make sure my girlfriend knew, without a doubt, that I was totally behind her with this.

* MD *

When I got home, I started preparing the meal. It was easy enough to do, Bella was distracted by her book, and she didn't seem to suspect anything, not that I was exactly hiding in our tiny apartment. As I pulled various boxes and bottles from my bags, I thought back to the conversation I'd had with my mom just two nights before. She was excited for me, but concerned I wouldn't find work in England.

"Mom, I won't find anything here either, I might as well try there," I'd said. "Besides, I don't want to just walk away, or take a break or whatever. There's no point in that."

"No, there isn't," she'd agreed, and that had surprised me a little. She was part of the reason I'd been so keen on fast and easy relationships in the past; she had always taught me to test things out first before making a choice. I think she didn't want me to get married fast like she had. Not that she regretted marrying my dad, I knew that, but I know she wished she'd gone to college, travelled a bit before she'd had me and Jasper. "I know you love Bella, honey, and this could be good for you. I just want to make sure you know that before you go."

"I do," I'd said. "I want her, and I want this."

"Then tell her."

An hour later, I was ready.

"Bells, dinner's ready... or shall I say tea?"

"You made tea for dinner?" Bella called from the living room, sounding confused. "I'm sure it tastes good but I'm kind of hungry..." She stepped out of the room, looking even more puzzled when her eyes rested on the dining room table. "What is this?"

"It's our getting-used-to-England-before-we-go dinner," I said, sitting down in front of my plate. It was full of sausages, half of a grilled tomato, some toast, potatoes, and a fried egg. "Traditional breakfast, I know it's dinnertime, but I figured we'd try this first. I might have missed out on some things, but I thought this was probably enough calories for the day!"

Bella's mouth opened and closed again, like she was going to say something but the words had died. She sat down slowly, taking it all in. I watched her carefully, trying to figure out her reaction. She looked... excited.

"I have some chocolate biscuits and Newcastle too," I added, still watching her.

"Are you sure?" she finally asked, her voice raspy.

"Positive."

A little sobbing sound escaped her throat, and she rushed into my arms, squeezing me tight. "Thank you... oh God, thank you! I know I could go without you, but I didn't want to, and fuck, I'm so happy!"

Tears were in my eyes as we hugged tightly. This was my girl. Her dreams weren't exactly my dreams, but I wanted this to work, and I could make my own dreams along with hers. If England was our path, I'd follow it with her. Besides, I liked cars... why not rent a hot Aston Martin and learn to drive it on the wrong side of the road? A new challenge.

"When we're done," I said when she finally pulled back, "we can watch some Pride & Prejudice."

Bella chuckled. "I thought you hated that movie."

"I don't hate it," I said. "I just think it's boring. But maybe we can, like, go there or something. Where they filmed it."

"You are the best girlfriend ever," Bella said, happy tears in her eyes. She leaned forward and kissed me then, deeply and slowly. We clung to each other, excited and lusty and burning for something new. "I can't wait to share this with you."

"Me either," I said. "Now, dig in. Don't let this fry-up go cold!"

**A/N II: I've lived in England myself, so needless to say, my attitudes towards England do not reflect my own opinions! I'm looking forward to having Bella show Rosalie the amazing things the UK has to offer! God I miss the beer... Reviews are love. 3**


	15. Across the Pond

**A/N: Let's just say this chapter is very ironic for my life right now. And I wrote this in like an hour because I desperately needed a distraction from life. So yeah... That's why I'm updating now. Unbeta'ed of course. **

**Again, just want to say, I LOVE England. I lived there for 4 months when I was a junior in college, at the University of Nottingham. I spent a bit of time in London while I was there, so I'm using my experiences to write this. I lived there 2007/08 so if my references are a bit old, that's why... Writing this is actually motivating me to save up to move there myself actually... My soul misses the UK!**

**Disclaimer: Naturally, I'm not SM. Nor am I making any money... at all at the moment, actually. Thank God for Short Term Disability...**

It wasn't raining or even foggy when we stepped off the plane at Heathrow, for which I was very grateful. It was four months since we'd graduated college, four months of hard planning and second-guessing and a little bit of fighting, with a lot of making up, and now here we were, ready to start our lives in London.

It was chilly in the airport, despite all of the warm bodies bustling from gate to gate, and I wrapped my grey sweater tighter around my body as we worked through the crowds, hoisting our carry-on luggage over our shoulders towards baggage claim.

Bella was beyond giddy the entire flight over, fidgeting and twitchy and restless in her tiny coach plane seat. She'd shifted through dozens of papers, trying to prepare herself for the work she'd be starting in a just a few days time. She was going to work as a research assistant for this important professor/scholar guy, something that was exactly up her alley. She loved books and spending hours pouring over pages, and I think that was exactly what she was going to be doing for the year.

I had found a job, working as a receptionist in this international hostel someplace in the city centre. I'd be working with hippies, lost yuppies, and odd souls for two months while I looked for work someplace else. I was hoping I could find work in a shop, get my hands on some foreign car parts, but at this point I was willing to do pretty much anything. I was ready for an adventure. London seemed like a pretty good place to start.

"I really hope we find the apartment," Bella gasped as we dodged one of those carts that take the elderly and people in wheelchairs from gate to gate. She was carrying the maximum of what the airline had allowed her to take, and we hadn't even gotten our luggage yet; we'd each packed four giant rolling bags with all of the basics; we'd get the rest here. Bella was adorable, all flushed and bright-eyed and beautiful, taking it all in. "I wonder what Boots is?" she asked as we passed what looked like a pharmacy mixed with a sandwich bar, the food in rows and rows of triangle-shaped boxes. "Babe, can you believe we're here?" She was a kid in Disneyland.

"No, I can't," I chuckled. "I think that's the way to baggage." We navigated the airport seamlessly, getting all of our bags in less than a half an hour, loading them onto carts, which took a lot of effort to steer. Bella had planned everything meticulously, from money exchange down to the van which would pick us up and drop us off in front of our new place. It was expensive, but worth it. There was no way I was getting on a train or bus with all of my shit, if it would have even fit to begin with.

The driver was nice, but drove way too fast, and I was too scared we were going to rear-end another car so much that I didn't really have a chance to take in where we were going. I just noticed a lot of houses made of brick, rows and rows that looked quite a lot alike, and a lot of places to get curry. I'd learned curry was like, the national food of England, so I supposed that was something I'd have to try. And pubs. As we pulled in front of our new place, my heart started pounding. I hadn't realized until just now how excited I was until now.

"Oh my God, it's amazing," Bella squealed as we stepped out. Truth be told, it looked exactly like the other streets we'd been driving through. I hoped I wouldn't get lost here. It was brick, with white window frames, a mossy walkway, and a narrow white door. There was an Indian place nextdoor, as was a video store and takeaway pizza. At least eating and entertaining wouldn't be a problem. There were also a lot of charity shops and something for stationary and books.

Bella fumbled with the keys in her hand; she was shaking with excitement. "Let's see!" she squealed.

The flat was tiny, but that was ok. It was cold, which might be a problem. The toilet was odd, the bedroom was tiny, and I didn't know how to operate a radiator. But it had potential. The bags we brought seemed tiny in the corner where we left them, and even though we'd been provided with furnature, it was still empty. I was no interior designer but I knew we'd be scouting shops soon for things to fill this place up with.

"It's amazing!" Bella twirled in the middle of what I suppose they call the sitting room, and I just watched her. I fell in love with her even more just then, seeing the pure joy on her face. I couldn't help but pull her to me and wrap her in my arms.

"You're amazing," I told her, and then I leaned down to kiss her. She melted completely into my arms, the euphoria on her lips as she kissed me back. Her tongue easily came to play with mine, deepening the kiss instantly. I moaned into her mouth, and we walked back slowly until my back was against the wall. Our legs intertwined as we stood there, making out like teenagers in a matter of seconds.

My shirt came off first, and her lips skated along my chest. She pulled down the cup of my bra, sucking my nipple into her mouth and biting down. "Shit baby!" I cried out. Apparently, the Old World made my baby frisky, and I could definitely deal with that. "Mmm, don't stop."

Ten minutes later, I was spread out on our new English bed, with her head between my legs. She was amazing at this now, the way her tongue would flick my clit slowly, teasingly, or the way she'd push her tongue deep inside my pussy, like she was trying to taste my gspot. "Shit, you taste so sweet," she moaned, pulling my thighs even further apart so she could push three fingers inside of me, curving them up inside. "Rosie baby, will you cum on my face?"

God, she was driving me crazy. "Yes," I moaned. "I'll cum anywhere you ask me to baby."

"Good, then I want you to straddle my face now," she said, biting her lip and giving me a look that nearly made me cum right on the spot. She sat up, pulling off her own shirt, and I realized suddenly that she had been fully dressed. That had to change, and fast.

We stripped her quickly, and when I reached down to feel her pussy, I could tell she was swollen and soaked; we'd be working on her soon enough. She laid down on the bare mattress, and I turned so I could ride her, with the potential of a 69. What a way to break in this new bed!

Spreading my folds, she dove right in, eating my pussy like there was no tomorrow, and I leaned back to give her better access. She was in such a good mood, she might even rim me, which I secretly loved, and she secretly loved to do, even if she'd never admit it. If I got lucky, maybe she'd fuck me in the ass with our toy...

About five minutes of pussy play later, and I was cumming hard. I pinched my nipples, tweaking them hard and fast, and I came again against her mouth, grinding down slightly. "Shit baby..." I whimpered, climbing off to let her breathe.

"Fuck me, please," she cried. "I need to be fucked Rose."

I crawled down between her legs and dove in, pounding my fingers into her pussy as hard and as fast as I dared. She was so ready that I didn't need to prepare her, she just took it all. "Fuck yes!" she cried as I worked her, using every trick in my arsenal, including a little anal play. She literally screamed my name when my tongue darted lightly into her puckered hole. "Don't fucking stop!" So I didn't.

I wished to God I had our toys out, but I couldn't pause this now, we were too far gone. I positioned myself between her thighs, grinding my pussy against hers, and we tribbed like our lives depended on it. The bed was banging hard against the wall, and it squeaked loudly in protest. "Goddamn," she sobbed, cumming hard against me. "Fuck meeee."

It was like we were in heat. I couldn't stop, and I was mindless with pleasure. I wanted her and nothing else in this world. It felt like the world would end if we stopped fucking. We were sweating and screaming; we were animals going at it. It felt like eternity before I came for the fourth or fifth time and it felt like enough. And even then, all I wanted was our strap on so we could take turns.

"Oh my holy fucking God," Bella gasped when we finally stopped. My pussy was throbbing and achy and still needy. "Why don't we do that everyday?"

"That'd be one hell of a workout," I giggled, pinching her nipple. She gasped again and I kissed her hungrily. OK, we weren't quite done yet. We had to do some quick unpacking for that toy. "I plan on working you out a little bit more before we pass out tonight."

"Oh fuck yes," she growled, and I bit her neck lightly. I think I fucking loved England now.

* MD *

The next morning, we were exhausted. The combination of sex-coma and jet-lag were taking a toll on our bodies, and we slept through most of the day after unpacking a few of our bags.

"Think we outta go explore?" I finally asked. The main reason behind my request was that I was fucking starving, and we'd run out of provisions from the plane. "Maybe eat some curry or something?"

"Oh, I thought you'd never ask," she said, rubbing her belly. "Besides, the neighbors need to know we do more than bang against the walls."

I smirked and slapped her ass. "Speak for yourself babe."

I don't know what I expected, walking about on London streets, but this part of town was certainly different than what you see in the movies. This was more Shawn of the Dead rather than Sherlock Holmes, and if I'm totally honest, way more diverse than I thought England would be, which was nice. The curry we got for dinner was phenominal, and I got the feeling that the owner was going to love us. He was a sweet Indian man named Raj, and he instantly took a liking to Bella. He loved the idea that we lived next door, and were he not seventy years old, I would have been fucking jealous and suspicious. As it was, we walked away with an amazing meal and a promise of free naan bread any time we wanted.

"I can't believe we've made a friend already," Bella squealed as we walked out with our bags. "I love London!"

"Hey, when do you start your stuff?" I asked as we walked back into our flat. "I want to go sight-seeing."

"We have a year to do that you know," she laughed. "But I don't start for another two days, so if you wanted, tomorrow we could do stuff."

"Tower of London, baby!" I laughed, and she rolled her eyes at me. Sure, she was rolling her eyes, but she was already planning the day out in her head, I could tell. From the moment we'd heard we were moving here, she'd becoming a walking guide book. She'd also made a list of the things she wanted to see, in numerical order, according to location, historical importance, and, one list for the best places to make out. The last list was made by me. The top of the London Eye was high on the list. Maybe we could do that tomorrow...

* MD *

Our sight-seeing plans were put off for a day, when we realized buying plates and silverware trumped visiting famous spots in the city. We had a lot of time to explore, but right now we needed to play house. And to be honest, I had just as good of a time walking around in little shops and grocery stores as I would have in a castle or landmark.

Everything seemed different here, even when it was familiar. Bella and I spent hours looking at labels, filling our carts with novel items like Marmite and genuine Cheddar cheese. She grabbed a bottle of Archer's peach schnapps with a wiggle of her eyebrows. "Thought we might party later," she giggled. She'd taste good with peach on her skin...

"I can't wait to make this place our own," Bella said as we brought our stuff into our place. It felt good to fill the cabinets with food, it made the place seem less cold. It also helped that I figured out how to use the radiator in a jiffy, and that the windows seemed to be draft-free, which I hear isn't necessarily common here.

"Me either baby," I said, grinning at her when I finished putting the groceries away. "I'm loving this so far."

"Well give it some time," she laughed, wrapping her arms around me. "But... thank you."

"For what?"

"For giving me this, for letting me bring you here with me. For supporting me."

"Always, baby. No need to thank me." I kissed her slowly, sealing my promise with her, that I would stay, that we would work on this, that this was going to be the most epic year of our lives.

**A/N II: Whatcha think? What sights would you want to see in England, or where is your favorite place there? :-)**


	16. Beer Goggles

**A/N: So yeah. Breaking up is hard to do. Therefore, writing this fic is hard to do. When the love is gone, I don't know what to write about. So you might not like me for this update... You'll have to trust/forgive me. Unbetaed as usual, but this fic has so few reviews now I figure no one minds... Thanks to everyone who sticks with me. I appreciate you more than you know.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously don't make a penny off of this. Money's tight. **

"Room nineteen was trashed again," Mary said dryly, tossing the room keys onto the desk next to me. "So guess who gets to clean that one up?"

I gritted my teeth and glared at her. We'd worked out a system where we traded off the worst rooms, and today was my day. I loved my job at the hostel, but I really hated it when stupid college kids with a backpack and Daddy's money decided to party it up with no regards for who was cleaning up after them.

I ignored the fact that I myself had done so at frat houses and sororities for years with even less regard. Karma, I suppose.

"Thanks a lot," I said, just as sarcastically. "How bad is it this time?"

"The Bulgarians just checked out," she said, as if it explained everything. I was quickly learning that Europeans liked to stereotype, a lot more than was PC in the United States. Things were "very French," or "so Greek," and not much more was said about it, as if that explained what you needed to know. Apparently Bulgarians were messy.

More than messy, as I found out as I unlocked the door with my cleaning cart behind me. "Oh hell no," I moaned. The scent of booze hit me like a brick wall, as did the strong smell of vomit. "Fuck my life," I said, gagging a little. This was going to be a treat...

"I want you to know I hate you," I announced when I was done disinfecting everything including myself. I felt gross, like there were still bits of pepperoni and shrimp-flavored crisps attached to my skin.

Mary giggled. "I love you too, Rosalie." It was hard to stay mad at her when she sounded so charming with her Welsh accent. She was from Cardiff, and staying in London for love just like I was. She was a few years younger, but always game for a drink after our shift. Her boyfriend Jason liked to join us, and sometimes he'd bring his rugby buddies, which always meant a good time. Bella joined us often, when she was done being buried under piles of folders and books.

We'd been here a month, and Bella was happier than I'd ever seen her. Luckily, so was I. This was working out amazingly. The only times I didn't like it here were well, times like these, when I was the vom-queen specialist.

"So are we going out tonight?" I asked. "After I shower, of course."

"Sure, Jason can ask the blokes round," she agreed, shuffling through the paperwork on the desk.

It was mid-afternoon, so the place was pretty dead. It was times like these when I scoured the internet and ads in the papers for a job. I'd hit the ground running, with several interviews in the very first week I was there, but nothing had panned out so far, and even though I had another month to look, I was starting to feel panicky. I hated not feeling secure- I'd always been secure back at home.

"Bella coming?" she asked, looking hopeful. Mary and Bella were becoming just as close as Mary and I, she thought we were an adorable couple.

"I hope so," I smiled. "It's Thursday, and usually her prof guy takes Friday off early, so he doesn't give her a ton to do."

"That must be nice," Mary laughed. We often worked weekends, which were our busiest times, and the most unpleasant to clean up after. I was becoming pro at cleaning toilets and making complementary breakfasts- not necessarily in that order. "Hey, you think you guys would want to take a weekend someplace?"

"Like where?" I asked.

"I dunno, even just the seaside would be nice."

"It's almost Halloween," I laughed. "A little cold, isn't it?"

"That doesn't matter," she said, waving her hand at me. "Anyway, it's just an idea. Jason and I are dying to get out of here for a few days."

"I'll talk to Bella about it," I smiled. I had to admit I loved the idea. Bella and I had been able to explore London a little, but only the main tourist spots; Tower of London was first, and of course Westminster Abbey and Parliament, Tate Modern (boring), Buckingham Palace, Picadilly Circus, Covent Garden, Oxford Street, Notting Hill (Bella insisted we watch the movie afterwards), and St. Paul's Cathedral. We still hadn't even made it to the British Museum yet, which killed Bella. Maybe I'd take her there this weekend. The point was, we had tons of stuff to see and do, we hadn't even gotten all of the essentials down yet. Thank God we had a year to get it all done! I wanted to do London justice.

When I finally got off work at six, I told Mary I'd text her with where to meet for drinks, and I walked to the bus stop.

London was everything I expected, yet nothing like I thought it would be. It was familiar and foreign at the same time, busy and slightly seedy and comfortable. I had never expected to like it, let alone want to stay, but yet here I was, embracing the changes. I loved the fashions, which was so entirely different than Seattle. I felt more grown up somehow, and it had nothing to do with the fact that I had a college degree now under my belt.

My entire life had changed since I met Bella, but in the best of ways.

She wasn't there when I got home, so I showered quickly, and tossed my clothes into a separate pile. No need to infect the rest of the dirty clothes with the contents of room nineteen.

Our flat was becoming our own now; we'd found posters and throw pillows and some awesome antiques to fill the place so it seemed less white, less cold, less boring. We had friends over, including people Bella had met at work. Leah was a tough-as-nails librarian who was sweeter than she'd like to admit. She was thirty, single, and an even bigger lush than I used to be, which made her incredibly fun to hang out with. We would go to plays and movies with her a lot; I think if she had her way she'd take us to beatnik poetry recitals, if those even exist in London. As it was, Leah brought plenty of culture to us. She also brought with her her boyfriend Simon, and her little brother Seth, who were epically awesome. Simon was into cars, so we instantly made a friendship. And Seth was one of those guys every girl wishes had been their first boyfriend; adorable, attentive, ridiculously polite, and more into making movies than making slick moves.

I wondered if I should text them and ask them along to the pub with Mary and the gang. They'd never met, and I wondered how they'd interact. Leah and Mary would probably hit it off instantly...

I was just about to text Leah when Bella got home. "Hey baby," she grinned, pulling me to her after she sat her bookbag down on the chair by the door. "How was your day?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" I laughed lightly, leaning down to give her a kiss. "You're the one that just got home."

"True," she said, and kissed me again. We stayed that way for awhile, just holding each other and kissing softly in the foyer, just reassuring each other of our love. "I missed you today."

"Did you?" I pulled her to the couch with me so I could hold her closer. She folded instantly into me, her legs crossing over in my lap.

"Yeah, I dunno, it's silly I guess, you're right here." She gave me a sweet smile, reaching over and tucking my hair over my ear. "You're so beautiful."

"So are you," I said honestly, looking into her eyes. "I love you baby."

"I love you too," she grinned. "I'm not sad or anything, I just missed being away from you today."

We caught each other up on our days, and she wrinkled her nose when I told her the vom story. "You showered, right?" she asked.

"Of course," I laughed. "I used a blow dryer."

"Good, cuz I wouldn't want to fool around with you if you were all pukey."

"Oh, you wanna fool around, huh?" I asked flirtatiously, cupping her face gently in my hand. I ran my thumb against her bottom lip, and she shivered, nodding. "Well in that case... we have a few hours before Mary wants to meet up..."

"Oh yeah?" Bella wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me in for a slow burning kiss that made me dizzy when she pulled back. "Well I think I have a few ideas of what to do in the meantime..."

* MD *

It was a stroke of pure luck that I found my dream job. Alistair was not the kind of man you'd expect to know anything about cars, and I was not exactly the kind of person he usually hired. The fact that I was twenty-something, blonde, pretty, and didn't have a penis seemed to make him hesitate at first, but once he saw the way I worked with cars, he was sold immediately.

The shop was nearly on the opposite side of London, which meant I had an hour plus commute most days, but it was worth it. Alistair showed me the ropes right away, and the other guys in the shop loved me right away. My rack probably helped, but they also recognized I knew what I was doing, and I was glad they seemed to respect my talents. Plus, I didn't put up with any of their bullshit, and put them in line, which seemed to shock them at first, but that they got used to it after the first two months or so.

Bella was also having success- she and her professor were making huge progress on the research- something about Shakespeare. Bella would talk for hours when she got home, about the old books she poured over, and the new computer system they were using to restore documents. Her face was so bright whenever she'd talk about it, as was mine when I mentioned work.

Insanely happy.

Our sex life was better than ever, our social lives were fantastic, taking weekend trips to the seaside, Scotland, Cardiff, the Peak District, Bath and Stonehenge... We'd been here 3 months and life was insanely perfect.

I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it hadn't yet, and I wasn't in a rush to make it fall. I was happy, genuinely happy, for the first time in my life, and things were looking fantastic. We'd even toyed with the idea of staying after Bella's internship was up. One step at a time, I supposed, but so far, this was working out fantastically.

* MD *

It was Mary's idea for us to take a trip to Ireland one dark winter weekend. The flight was super cheap, so we packed up and headed to Dublin for the weekend.

"No wonder they love whiskey here, it's fucking freezing!" I exclaimed as we got off the plane. Mary and Jason laughed, and Bella jabbed me hard in the side. She was always afraid I was going to piss somebody off with the remarks I often made. "What? It's true!"

Bella just rolled her eyes and we made our way to the busses into town. "What do we have in mind?" she asked, opening up her guide book.

"Guinness," Jason said instantly. "Or Magners. Either way." He was reminding me of Emmett big-time right now, and I realized just how the two guys would get along if they ever met. Heaven help us if they did.

"Jason, we're not going to be drunk the whole time we're here," Mary scolded him, though she sounded like she wouldn't mind much if we did drink a lot tonight. I was down as well, and Bella nodded with a smile.

"Excellent," Jason crowed when he realized he was probably going to get his way, at least tonight. I was in the mood to party. It was Christmas-time, and I was feeling a little homesick. Dublin was decorated beautifully for the holiday, but it just made me miss home all that much more. My mom had sent us a huge carepackage full of cookies, hot chocolate and marshmellows, and more gifts than I had gotten in the past five years combined.

We checked into our hotel, which thankfully was not a hostel, and set out to pub hop. It had to have been twenty degrees (fahrenheit, because I'm still shaky on the whole celsius thing), or colder, with the wind whipping through like sheets of ice. "Holy shit!" I shivered as we piled into our first pub of the night. It was warm, bright, loud, and exactly how I pictured an Irish pub. Bella and I squeezed around a tall, wooden table while Jason and Mary navigated towards the bar.

"I'm so glad we came," Bella said into my ear. She had to shout for me to hear, but her warm breath on my neck made me shiver as she leaned up into me. "I'm having a great time!" Her eyes were sparkling from the white Christmas lights hanging up in the window and across the pub.

"Me too," I replied with a grin, and linked my fingers under the table with hers. I wanted to kiss her, but Mary and Jason appeared with drinks, so we put our lips on that instead. "Let's make plans for tomorrow."

We decided there were a few musuems we wanted to hit, and Jason insisted we had to make a stop at the Guinness factory (not that he had to pull our legs to agree or anything), and that otherwise we'd play the weekend by ear. I suck at making concrete plans, and so we all did, except for Bella, who probably wouldn't have minded if we had the entire day scheduled by the hour. My little organizer.

We danced after that, and I held her close as we swayed to the slower music they played, the beautiful fiddle music of Ireland. "I love you," I whispered into her ear, kissing just under the ear where she liked it best. I was feeling tipsy and warm and good, and so was she. "I wanna take you back to our room and show you how much I want you."

She shivered in my arms, and nodded. "OK."

In that moment, there was a tapping on my shoulder. "Oi," a loud voice shouted. "You two lesbians? Gimme a little show, huh?"

I whirled around to glare at a huge guy, who easily had to be two-fifty, six foot six, sloppily drunk, and just from outside if his ruddy cheeks were any indication. He reeked of cigarettes, and despite his vernacular, clearly American. Probably some exchange student who found it necessary to drink the locals under the table, from the looks of him. His hand was pressing hard onto my shoulder, and I tried to shrug it off, but the guy was a tree, and he wasn't letting go. I saw red.

"Listen, jackass," I growled, gritting my teeth hard, but then he was being pulled away by his buddies.

"Dude, stop," said a blonde surfer looking guy, looking pleadingly at his friend. "Sorry," he muttered as he ushered the tree away.

"Fuckers," I snarled at their retreating backs.

"It's OK Rose," Bella whispered. "They're gone."

"I just fucking hate that shit," I sighed. My blood was boiling but Bella's arms around me calmed me just a little. "I'm not putting on a show... with you."

"I know love," she said, and kissed the corner of my mouth lightly. "Want to go? We can find a new place?"

I looked over her shoulder and saw the tree leering at us with his friends. He waggled his eyebrows at me and raised his fresh pint of beer up at me in a salute. I gave him the finger. "Yeah, let's get the hell out of there."

I didn't have time for douchebags. Not now, not ever. And definitely not when it came to my relationship with Bella.

"You guys wanna get out of here?" Mary asked, clearly oblivious to what had happened on the dance floor. She was drunker than I was used to seeing, which meant she was incredibly adorable and happy and handsy. Jason got lots and lots of lovin' when she drank up. "There might be other good places nearby." I noticed her hand had slipped under the table, and that Jason was grinning quite a lot.

"Yeah, let's go," Bella said, her eyes trained on the guys at the bar, and we made our way out. "Thank God, they were staring at us," she sighed as we stepped out into the freezing cold.

"Jackasses," I grumbled. We filled in Mary and Jason when they gave us questioning looks. "Why do men have to be such dicks about girls who love girls? Jesus, it's like they've never seen it before."

"Hey, I resent that," Jason said. "I'm cool with it. I don't expect you to put on a show for me."

"And I thank you for that, it's the only reason you still have balls," I joked.

"And I thank YOU for that," he smirked. Jason really was an awesome guy. He was one of those guys I'd probably have considered fucking around with back in my "wild days", but he was one of those guys who I'd have stayed friends with after, just like Emmett.

We pub crawled for several more hours, snacking on chips when we got hungry, and guzzling down pints like there was no tomorrow. We made new, brief friends, and I was so drunk I was getting silly. I tried to braid Bella's hair, but accidentally spilled my drink into her lap, and then when I tried to get her to have bathroom sex, she told me we were actually leaning up against the coat room door and in plain sight of half the pub.

Like I said, I was drunk.

So drunk, five hours into our drinking games, I kissed Jason.

Yeah.

That happened.

**A/N II: I'm already working on the next update so don't worry, you won't have to wait long. Happy 2012! Let's hope it's better than 2011.**


	17. The Bard

**A/N: Happy 2012! So far so good for me, I hope you're all doing just as well. :-) Thanks so much for the reviews for last chapter, you who stick with me make this all worth writing! I appreciate and love each and every one of you. **

**Disclaimer: As usual, I don't make money off of this. I did get my short-term-disability check the other day though, which was nice. Haha.**

It was just a peck. No tongue. I don't even know why I did it. We were dancing, he was looking cute, and the next thing I knew, I was laying one on him. And he wasn't pushing me back either. When we pulled back, less than five seconds later, I realized I needed to puke.

I ran to the bathroom of the pub, pushed back five girls standing in line, and ran into the girl coming out of the first stall. Most of the puke got into the bowl, but honestly there was a lot in my hair and on the floor too. I could hear the women moaning and groaning over the sound and smell, and honestly, I couldn't blame them. I hadn't been this trashed in, well, years, and I felt like it was the very first time again. My head was swimming by the time I last dry heaved into the bowl.

A few minutes later, Bella appeared, followed by Mary, and they both looked worried. I was slumped against the wall of the bathroom, and the staff was cleaning up my mess. All I could say was, "I'm sorry," over and over. I was really becoming British.

* MD *

I woke up, extremely hungover and hungry, about nine hours later in our hotel room. Bella was sitting next to me on the bed, like she had when I was so sick all those months ago in Seattle. She was frowning down at me, but I couldn't read her expression.

"Are you OK?" she asked quietly.

"I need a bucket of greasy food," I moaned. "And asprin."

"I can get you asprin now," she said, and got up to shuffle through her backpack. She produced the bottle, and got a cup of water from the bathroom, then brought them over to me on the bed. When I sat up, my head was swimming and I had to close my eyes.

"What happened?" I asked. The memories were extremely fuzzy and mostly involved some jackass early in the evening, and lots of booze afterwards. And I remembered vomming hard onto my new silk shirt.

"You drank a lot, and then you puked..." She was quiet for a long time. "You kissed Jason too."

"I WHAT?" I shouted so loud it split my own head. "Shit..."

"From what I could see, you guys were dancing, and then you kissed him." She was frowning, but she didn't look as upset as I felt, or how I would have expected her to look. "It wasn't a long kiss." She was analyzing now.

I collapsed back onto the bed and covered my face with my hands. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck... I'm so sorry baby. I don't know what else to say." I really didn't. I couldn't even remember doing it. "I am scum."

"No, you're not," she sighed. She'd sat back on the bed with me, but on the edge this time. "Mary didn't see," she added. "And I don't intend on telling her, it's not my place to. If you or Jason want to, that's up to you."

"Bella, what can I do? I'm so insanely sorry, I can't even remember doing it, and I swear to God, no matter what, it didn't mean a thing, and it will never happen again, and holy shit, I am the worst person ever and if you left me I swear I'd understand and-"

Bella's fingers pressed against my lips, stopping me. "Hey. Stop. I forgive you. I don't like it, and I'm not happy with you right now, and I'm seriously questioning a lot of shit right now, but I know... I know you didn't do it to hurt me. You were drunk."

I was stunned. My stomach was in knots, feeling more low and worthless than I ever had in my life, and here she was, forgiving me. She should be yelling, screaming, crying, pissed off as fuck at me. I would have more than understood, and would have probably preferred it, if I was honest. "Why are you forgiving me?" I asked. Tears were already falling down my face without me realizing it.

"Because, after all we've been through together, I've realized one thing. You're a good person, Rosalie. You make mistakes, you piss me off sometimes, and you are far from perfect. There are days where I feel like I'm not enough for you, no matter what you say, because you are so... you. I don't know how to explain it. But I love you," she sighed. I watched her, still crying, bewildered.

"I'm not a good person," I said hoarsely. "Clearly I'm not. And I don't deserve any forgiveness from you."

"No, maybe not," she said, but a smile played on her lips as she said it. A sad smile, but a smile nonetheless. "But I'm giving it to you. Just... don't do it again? Unless you meant it, I mean if you meant it, I can move on and just..."

"Baby, I may not remember what the hell I did last night, but I do know it meant nothing. Absolutely not a single thing. I love YOU, and I only want you. I don't even know what must have come over me-" My voice broke and I started crying anew, my head burrowing into my pillow.

"Rose, please," Bella sighed, and snuggled into my side. "I don't want to spend hours trying to convince you that I'm not mad at you. I'm upset, yes. I won't lie and pretend it didn't hurt to see. But I know you didn't mean it. And I love you. So this is... your free pass, OK? Would that make you feel better? You fucked up. I might fuck up someday too, and maybe that means you can forgive me when that happens."

I gave a watery laugh. "You won't fuck up. I don't think you're capable of it."

"Oh, but I am," she laughed. "Trust me."

"What can I do to prove that I love you? That I made a mistake and that I'm really truly sorry?" I asked, pleading with my heart and soul that she could see I meant every word.

"Just keep loving me, and never do that again," she said, and kissed me softly.

"That, I think I can do."

* MD *

It was a week before Bella and I had sex again, but when we did, it was sweet and passionate and genuine making love. I had screwed up big time, and I was determined not to fuck up again. It helped that Mary had been just as forgiving as Bella had been. Jason had apparently remembered more than I had, and Mary had been pissed, but forgave us quickly. "Oh hell, we've all been there," she said with a shrug. Apparently she had a habit of being too friendly when drinking as well, and she and Jason had been down this road several times before.

It was a relief, but I still felt bad. It was something I'd done hundreds of times in the past without a thought, naturally without consequence, except for maybe an angry girlfriend who I'd either ignored or bitched out. Hurting Bella in any way was the last thing on earth I wanted to do, and I know I had.

"Baby, I need to go to Stratford-upon-Avon for a week," Bella said one night in early January. "Professor Downes asked me to go, there's a specific library I need to visit, and plus it's just plain wrong I'm studying Shakespeare in England without visiting his hometown!" She laughed and plopped on the couch next to me. "Do you think you could come with me?"

"I'm not sure, I'd have to talk to Alistair," I said. "I might be able to get some days off, but I don't know about a whole week."

Bella tucked her leg under the other, and shifted close towards me. "That could work, I'd be busy on a few of those days anyways. And then we could have a few touristy days together, maybe see a show or something. Get a hotel..." She winked.

"Well in that case, I'll talk to Alistair today," I smirked, sliding my hand up her thigh.

* MD *

I got three days off, and met up with Bella in Stratford-upon-Avon when I got off work on Thursday night. I loved the bus systems in England- cheap, clean, and fast. Not that I'd spent a lot of time on Greyhounds in the US, but this was not the same kind of deal. Bella met me at the bus station, and practically dragged me back to our hotel.

"I've missed you," she breathed. I noticed then that she wasn't wearing a bra, and that the chilly air was really bringing out the best of her assets. "Like, really, really missed you..." She cupped my face in her hands and wrapped herself around me while we kissed.

"Damn baby," I groaned, pushing her back against the hotel room door, grabbing her ass hard in my hands. She mewled against my lips and kissed me harder. I loved it when she pounced on me like this, and it had been awhile since we'd really just gone for it. I was wet already. Our tongues met, over and over, and my hands slipped down into her pants, loving the smooth, plump feel of her ass beneath my palms.

"I'm going to fuck you now," she moaned, and fumbled for a few moments with the button of my pants before sinking her fingers into my pussy... I was more than ready for her. I hissed through my teeth as she plunged her fingers quickly into me. Her face was alight with determination and lust; she was a fucking goddess as she worked her fingers inside me. I'm already insanely in love with her, but in this moment, I'm more in love with her than I've ever been. She's my soulmate, my dream, the best thing ever in this fucking world. "God Rosie, you're so ready for me..."

"Always," I gaped, roughly grabbing the back of her head so I could smash my lips to hers. "Yes..." I could already feel my body start to tense with orgasm as the palm of her hand rubbed my clit hard. My body arched off the wall towards her, and then she curled her fingers inside my pussy and I saw stars when she hit just the right spot. "FUCK!" I fell apart, sooner than I expected to, gasping for air as my body pulsed around her.

Bella looked smug as she pulled back, slowly easing her fingers from me. I moaned as she lifted her fingers to her lips and licked them clean; they were dripping wet from my O. "Yummy," she said, and winked.

"Jesus fuck," I groaned, slumping against the wall. "Come here." She slid her arms around my waist and we kissed for a long time as I settled down. "God, I love you Bella."

Her brown eyes were glittering as we looked into each other's eyes. "I love you too Rosalie. With everything. God, you're so sexy." She kissed the side of my neck, just under my ear. I shivered.

"Mmm, so are you," I grinned. "I think it's your turn now..." I licked my lips involuntarily, anticipating the taste of her pussy. I was gonna eat her out until she screamed my name...

"I wish it could be, but we've gotta meet Professor Downes first for dinner," she said with a small frown. "I wish I hadn't agreed to it tonight. But he's bringing his wife and son, so I figured it'd be rude to say no."

"Well damn," I frowned. My little "dining" fantasy popped. Later... we'd do that later... "I thought he wasn't coming here." We got up from against the wall, and I zipped up my pants. I'd have to change if we were going out, as my panties were definitely destroyed by now.

"I guess he has a house here... as a renowned Shakespeare expert I suppose it makes sense," Bella laughed. "And his family is here. He wanted me to meet them, since I'm his best intern ever." She smirked as she said it, like it was a joke, but I knew she was speaking the truth. My girl was so smart.

"Well it had better be a short dinner, because I sure as hell don't want to be out late tonight," I said, heading towards the bathroom to mop up. "I have something to show you later."

Bella's expression was priceless and flushed as I shut the door behind me.

* MD *

Professor Downes was older than I expected, completely bald and wearing a tweed jacket with the suede patches on the elbows, which meant I was surprised his son was about our age and devastatingly handsome. We met in a pub in the city centre of Stratford-upon-Avon. It was full of dark wood and books and a fireplace and amazing beer on tap. An academic's perfect meeting spot for long conversations about art and philosophy and strong drinks. But I couldn't concentrate on my Yorkshire pudding and local brew. I did not like the way Jacob was looking at Bella.

As we made the pleasant conversations of the evening, Jacob Downes kept staring down Bella like she was a piece of meat, and he was a hungry dog set out to devour her. His whole body, no doubt bulked up from rowing or whatever sport people did around these parts, would lean into hers when he talked to her, and he didn't seem to notice she would back off each time. Seriously, the guy was leaning over her like he was trying to cover her body with his, and that made me think of all of these really nasty dark-alley thoughts.

For my part, I didn't say anything, didn't glare, I just watched. I was learning to reign in my jealousy when other people noticed Bella. She was smart and realized right away what was going on, and she wasn't letting him intimidate her, or whatever it was he was trying to do. _Good girl, _I thought to myself.

I was good, the entire night. I swear. I knew Bella wasn't interested in Jake, so I didn't say anything. But when the meal was finished, the last pint drunk up, and the intellectual small-talk over, and Jake tried to slip Bella his mobile number, I wanted to deck the fucker. "Really, Bella, I could show you around tomorrow if you'd like. I know the best..." He paused for dramatic effect, his British accent smooth and low and far more attractive than I wanted to admit, "secret spots around town, and I could show you them all."

"That won't be necessary," she said, ignoring his leer and shrugging on her coat. Seriously, the fucker's smooth smile was creeping me the fuck out. "Rose and I have plans for tomorrow, and your father has shown me many of the essential places I wanted to see in town. I like to explore towns on my own." She shot me a look of exasperation and I rolled my eyes. "We'll be going to Holy Trinity tomorrow first." God woman, don't tell him where we were going! "Shakespeare was buried there."

"Well of course," Jacob said arrogantly. "I've been there more times than I care to think about." Good. That means he's probably going to stay away. Fucker better not show up or I'll have to punch his junk in a church.

Mrs. Downes, a plump and lovely woman who had informed us she had a weakness for French wine and some show called Torchwood, came up to us now. "Come dear," she said to Jacob, tiny beside her son, "we'll be heading off now. Ladies, it was wonderful to meet you, I do hope you'll come visit us again while you stay here. My husband simply adores you, Bella." I loved how she added the slight "er" to the end of Bella's name, so it came out "Beller."

"He's wonderful to work with," Bella said genuinely, smiling at Mrs. Downes. Jacob just stood there, watching Bella with his mouth open like a moron. He had nice teeth though, I'll give him that. I was still mixed on that particular stereotype... some people had amazing teeth, others were scary.

We said goodnight, and Bella and I walked hand in gloved hand down the streets back to our hotel. "You know what's funny?" she asked after we walked past Shakespeare's house. It was dark but starry outside, and freezing cold. "When we first got together, all I could think of was how hot you are, and how everyone wanted you. And I'm sure that's still true... but it seems lately everyone wants me."

I burst out laughing. "You're so right baby. But I can't exactly blame them... have you seen you?"

She blushed, as usual. "Guess I'm just a late bloomer. No one really noticed me before you did."

"I bring out the best in you," I teased, bumping her lightly with my elbow.

"Yes," she said seriously. "You do."

**A/N II: I love Shakespeare, and I loved visiting Stratford-upon-Avon with my parents in 2008. What is your favorite Shakespeare play? Mine's a tie between Macbeth and Romeo & Juliet... definitely leaning towards Macbeth! **


	18. Impact

**A/N: I didn't realize how hard this fic was going to be to write after my breakup... But I'm keeping it up, I want to finish this for my amazing readers who keep sticking with me. I appreciate each and every one of you, and every review just bolsters my resolve to finish! **

**FYI, I'm no doctor. I did some quick googling for this chapter and that's it, so don't expect any Grey's Anatomy kind of thing, because honestly, I've only ever seen like 3 episodes. Haha. And naturally, no beta-ing, just me. **

**Disclaimer: I only make money by selling bras. Not by selling stories (someday, maybe though!) ;-)**

"Professor Downes asked me if we wanted to have dinner with him again," Bella announced, about two months after our trip to Stratford-upon-Avon. It was the start of spring, and things were warming up in our tiny flat, which was a godsend.

"Will his son be there?" I asked dryly. I was putting the finishing touches on our dinner- spaghetti and meatballs. The garlic bread was fresh out of the oven and was smelling amazing.

"I doubt it, he's still at uni," Bella said, sliding into the dining room table and watching me work. "He's a Cambridge man."

"Naturally," I said in my best, airy British accent. I sounded very posh, I had to admit, when I put my mind to it. Or at least, Mary said I sounded posh. I wasn't sure if that was a compliment coming from her or not. I was pretty good at imitating accents now. Mary did a stunning Texan accent now, it was hilarious. "Hey, if Jake the Snake isn't there, I'm up for it. Mrs. Downes seems awesome, and maybe she'll have lots of wine around."

"Great," Bella grinned. "I really think Downes likes me. Like maybe he'll ask me to stay after the internship is done with." Her eyes were glittering with exitement, just as they always did when she spoke of her new job. I smiled just as broadly. I was in love with England, and I was happier here than I ever thought possible. Who'd have thought it? Not me. Staying here was definitely a great plan, if we could work out the long-term hassles of being an ex-pat.

My work was going fantastically too. Alistair was giving me more hours as time passed, and he had once pulled me into his office and asked me if I had management experience, and if so, would I like to move up in his buisness? My answer, naturally, had been hell yes, even though it wasn't exactly true, and he'd started me on working the books once a week. It was simple work, but it made me feel good to do more, and hey, if I get paid more, all the better. I had my eye on a trip to Venice to surprise Bella on our anniversary, but my budget was tight.

"Baby, I'm so proud of you," I said, stirring the tomato sauce once more before shutting the heat off and pouring the red stuff over the drained noodles. "He'd be a fucking moron not to keep you."

Bella sighed happily. "I can't help but think this is the best thing that ever happened to me. This job I mean. It's like my dream come true. And I have you on top of everything else... Ro-" Her cell phone rang. "Hello?"

I plated her spaghetti. I knew she liked to put on her own cheese, so I sat the plate in front of her next to the parmesan and grater.

"Yeah, she's right here," she said, sounding confused. She passed the phone to me. "It's your mom."

"Huh? Mom? Why'd she call you?" I took the phone and answered. "What's up?"

"Why didn't you answer your phone? I've been calling you for twenty minutes! Fuck, Rosalie, you have to answer the damn phone when I call!" It took me a second to realize she'd just yelled the word "fuck" into the phone, and I was stunned. I started to say I'd left it on silent in my purse, but then she said, "Baby, you have to come home. NOW."

"What? What do you mean?" My guard was instantly up; my mom sounded like she'd been crying, and something was definitely not right.

"It's Jasper... he... he..." She made a choking sound in the back of her throat. There was some muffled sounds, and then what sounded like the phone being passed. A lead stone formed in my stomach and my heart leapt painfully. What the fuck was going on? Bella was watching me, her brow furrowed with worry.

"Rose, it's Dad," came the familiar voice. It was nearly as hysterical as my mom's. "Jasper's had an accident honey, and it's not looking good." The feeling of warmth left my hands, making them instantly stone cold. "You need to get on the next flight to San Antonio, now."

"OK... OK I will... What... what...?" I could barely spit the words out to ask what had happened.

"They were hiking, he went off the marked path, there was a cliff..." Dad said. My breath took a sharp intake. I probably knew exactly where he was, if it was in the same area I was thinking of. Fucking idiot... "Use my credit card, just get here as soon as possible," Dad said. "I have to go, your mom and I need to talk to the doctor now."

"I'll be there," I whispered, but he had already gone. "I have to go home," I said dully. I think I was in shock. It felt like all the blood had gone from my extremities. My twin was in the hospital, and it wasn't looking good. How far had he fallen? What had happened? Why in the hell had he gone off the trail? None of it made any sense. Twenty seconds ago everything was perfect and now nothing was. "Jasper."

"I'll help you pack," Bella said instantly. She was already opening up my suitcase onto our bed before I could even step through the bedroom door. Each breath was difficult, each step seemed like a mile. How could I ever get there in time? What if it was too late? "Baby, I need you to focus." Her voice seemed so far away, so distant, like there was a roaring in my ears that blocked out all sound. _Jasper. Twin. _Those were the only words that made sense. Why didn't I tell him I loved him more? Why hadn't I spent more time with him? What if it was too late?

Somehow I managed to get my bag packed and papers in order. Bella must have done it, with lightning hands, and it was just another reason why I couldn't live without her. Just right now, in this moment, there was no one else but Jasper, and the reality hit me hard. Bella called me a taxi and it pulled me into Gatwick less than an hour after my dad had called Bella's phone.

"I love you, and call me when you get there," Bella said, kissing me softly and quickly. "Everything is going to be OK."

I wanted to tell her there was no way she could know that, that I didn't know that could be true or not, but the words just wouldn't come out. I nodded, and with my small carry on, I bolted for the ticket counter. It cost my dad a small fortune, but I got a flight out that was leaving in under three hours. I'd have a short layover in Chicago, then to Houston and finally San Antonio. It was going to take forever, and I was freaking out. A million things were going through my head at once and I felt like I might start having a panic attack.

I texted my dad as I waited. He wasn't giving me a lot of answers, but it was sounding like Jasper had suffered a nasty blow to the head, and they were worried about internal bleeding not only in his head, but in his stomach. He'd also broken his left arm, six ribs, dislocated his knee and shoulder, and fractured his ankle. Those things could all be fixed... it was his brain they were most worried for.

When I finally boarded the plane, I decided it was best to take something to make me sleep. Benedryl was the best option, so I popped two before we took off. I just couldn't stop thinking, thinking, thinking, and worrying to the point of severe nausea. Blessidly, they seemed to work, and I spent most of my flight passed the fuck out. Any waking moment was spent staring blankly out the window. No headphones. No books. No magazines. Nothing but the image of my brother's face going through my mind, memories I was going to cherish now more than ever.

The other two flights were spent the same way, and the second I landed in SA, I grabbed a taxi and threw a hundred bucks at the driver to get to the hospital as fast as possible. I checked my phone as he made it through the traffic, and Bella had left me six texts, all assuring me she loved me and that things were going to work out. I still wasn't sure, but I wanted so badly to believe she was right.

_I'm almost there, I love you Bella. _

Her response came quicker than I expected, given it was 3 am in England. _I love you too. Tell your family I love them, and especially Jasper. _

It wasn't hard to find where Jasper's room was. Alice was in the waiting room, pacing. She looked like she hadn't slept in days, and it occurred to me she was in hiking gear. Obviously she hadn't left the hospital since they got there. "Rose!" she exclaimed when she noticed I was there. In a blur, she was hurling herself into my arms and squeezing me tightly. "I'm so glad you're here." Though we'd never exactly been what you'd call friends, I held her back just as close.

"Can I see him?" I asked when she finally pulled back.

She shook her head. "Not yet, they're doing an exam on him right now. They'll only let your parents in when they do that."

"What happened Alice?"

She pulled me by the hand to the couch and we sat facing each other. "We went on this hike. He wanted to show me something, I dunno what, but he was really excited. He said it was something most people never got to see."

I knew it. I fucking knew it. The bastard was going to take her to that fucking rock. The one right on the edge of that fucking cliff. Dad had shown it to us when we were kids, and we swore we'd never go there without him. It wasn't a famous or spectacular thing. No wonder of nature. It was the place he'd proposed to Mom at. And then I knew why he'd gone there. He was going to propose to Alice there, and something had gone wrong. I groaned.

"What?" she asked, looking puzzled.

"Nothing, keep going," I said, even though I was getting a headache. He'd almost gotten killed trying to propose to her.

"Well anyways, he must have slipped on something, I honestly don't know, I was climbing up after him," she continued. "It wasn't muddy but maybe the ground was loose. I don't know how far he fell, but when he did, he landed hard on a rock, and then rolled down about twenty more feet. I- I couldn't help..." Her voice broke off and her wide eyes filled with tears. "Oh Rose," she cried. She was in my arms again in an instant, and I held her tight, rocking her.

I cried with her. It was the first time I'd let myself cry.

* MD *

He was criss-crossed with wires and monitors and you could hear his heart beat when you came into the room, just like on all those medical drama shows and shit. The sound of his heart was slow but steady. I took a small bit of comfort in that. I'd never seen my brother look so pale. So helpless. It scared the shit out of me.

I'm not good with emotions. I never have been. Bella was the one person who got me to open up, and our relationship was the one thing I generally got emotional over. My family sometimes saw the side of me that wasn't tough or strong, but even then, I had a hard time expressing myself with them.

So when I started crying in Alice's arms, I never stopped. The dam burst and I couldn't stop. I was scared out of my fucking mind, and the answers, or lack thereof, about my brother's well-being were not helping. The doctors were still debating if he needed surgery; how badly was his brain swelling? More tests, they kept saying, and constant monitering. He was in a medically induced coma until they had more answers; they had to protect his brain. My brother was a fucking vegetable, for all intents and purposes.

Mom took me home a few hours after I'd arrived. I'd passed out almost immediately. Seemed my brain needed time to heal itself too. When I'd awoken, I found Alice beside me, fast asleep in one of Jasper's tshirts. I was glad she'd come here. She needed rest, clearly, and the hospital was no place to do it. We couldn't be of any help there now anyway. Even if he woke up, or even if they did a surgery, we'd still be helpless in the waiting room. The situation was ridiculously stressful and I had no idea what was going to happen.

I'd been home for two days before it even occurred to me that I hadn't even called in to work to tell them what was happening. Fuck. Now I'd be unemployed when I went back to England. I made a call to Alistair from the waiting room of the hospital. "Alistair, I'm so fucking sorry, I-"

"Darling Rosalie, don't worry, I know exactly where you are, and you're not to worry one bit about work until you've come home, alright?" he said in his warm, genteel way.

"How-?"

"Bella, of course," he said with a smile in his voice. "She called me the moment you left. I'm terribly sorry about your brother, I do hope he recovers quickly. Take your time with your family. We'll still be here and we'll still need you when you get home. Er, when you return."

"Thank you so much for understanding," I sighed. "This has been hell."

"I can only imagine. I'll let you go now, just have Bella call me when you're ready to come back."

"Alistair, you're the best," I said, and hung up a minute later. I quickly texted Bella. _You're an angel, you know that? _I knew she was at work and couldn't respond for awhile, but it felt good to send her something. Like it was a normal day and I'd be seeing her in just a few hours. I missed her. Times like these reminded me of why I was happier with her. Just knowing someone was there for you in a bad time... that meant everything. I wished I could hold her, just have her close by.

I must have fallen asleep in my chair, because what felt like minutes later, I was being shaken awake by my mom. "Rosalie, wake up! Jasper, they've decided to take him out of the coma!"

**A/N II: Dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnn... Review? Please? :-)**


	19. Healing

**A/N: This is short, and I apologize... I've had a really bad cold and worked 8 days solid on top of it. And now I'm going to Seattle for the weekend (my friends from college and I are going to party it up downtown, woo hoo!). This is kind of a transitional chapter, and kind of leading towards what will be the end of this fic... I predict 5 or so chapters left, though I can't say for certain. (One of these days I'll simply have to start outlining my stories, haha.) **

**As always, not beta-ed. Also, I'm not a doctor. Shocking, I know. Haha**

**Disclaimer: I make zero dollars and zero cents off of this story. Seriously, you'd know if you saw my bank account.**

His eyes weren't open when I rushed into the room, but I could already tell he was waking up. "Jasper!" my mom shouted, rushing over to his side. The nurses tried to bat her away, but they couldn't stop her from hurling herself across his chest in a desperate hug. I was right behind her, choking out little happy sobs as I kissed my brother's forehead.

"Where is he?" came a panicked Alice's shriek, and seconds later she was there too, a blur beside me, touching every inch of Jasper that was available to her.

"Ladies! Step. Back. Now." The nurses were pissed. The sternest looking one with a severe bun on top of her head glared at us as we stepped back sheepishly. "What is the matter with you? He's still coming out of it and you are not helping one bit. Now get back," she growled. Though she was almost a foot shorter than me, I nodded and bowed my head. She was right, of course, but after several days of pure stress and fear, it was hard to feel rational. Jasper was waking up!

Jasper made a soft moaning sound, and all of us turned towards him, eyes on his face, watching for any sign of change. At first, nothing but his eyelids fluttered. Then his lips twitched. And a few moments later, a sliver of blue became visible. He was awake.

* MD *

The next two weeks weren't easy, but Jasper slowly recovered from his fall. The doctors were able to stop the bleeding and it seemed that Jasper would recover with minimal brain damage, if any. His memory seemed to be as sharp as ever, and while there were times he seemed to have time focusing, it would be a matter of time before we knew if that were permanent or not. Hopefully not, naturally.

The relief we all felt was immense. I stayed to help my mom and dad, and just because it felt good to be with them at this time. We all needed each other, as a family. The only thing that made me feel bad was that Bella was so far away. I missed her desperately, but I knew she was busy with work, and was spending time with Leah and Mary, so she wasn't alone. She also mentioned making friends with another work collegue, an intern for another professor in the same department.

"I miss you," she sighed as we chatted on the phone. "But I'm glad you got to go home."

"Me too. I think I'll be home next Monday," I said. It was mid-morning in Texas, and early evening in England. Bella had just gotten home, and I was still laying in bed, hoping everyone else was still asleep. Jasper was home now, and we were all catching up on our rest. "Promise me you're not just like, working your ass off all day."

"I'm not," she laughed lightly. "I mean I'm working like I usually do. There's so much to do, and he has deadlines for his book and everything. But I mean, I sleep. I eat. I see people."

"You're doing better than me," I laughed quietly. "Food, sleep, and family. That's me these days." And lots and lots of the History Channel. Jasper couldn't get enough of the stuff. I was constantly on the verge of reminding him that people searching dirty old barns for antiques was not "history."

"And that's a wonderful thing," Bella said softly. "I wish I could be there with you. I hope you know that. I think about you guys all the time. And it..." She broke off.

"What?" I prodded. I pulled my pillow closer to me, like I would if it were Bella instead. I needed the contact. I missed her so much it ached inside. Two weeks wasn't a huge amount of time, but when you're away from the one you love... Yeah. It's far too long.

I'm a sap now. Seriously. It's getting a little ridiculous. If only Tanya could see me now, I thought, only semi-bitterly.

"I just miss being with you," Bella said, like it was a secret. "In _every_ way." Her voice dropped then, huskier than usual, and I knew exactly what she was talking about.

God, in every way. Yes. Fuck yes. Me too. Sure, I was in my childhood bed, with my parents under the same roof, with a recovering brother and his near-fiancee across the hallway, but it was hard being away from her. The physical... I definitely needed that. "I miss you too," I said, matching her tone. I couldn't help but rub my legs together slightly. I mean, it had been several weeks since she and I were together, and most nights I collapsed into bed exhausted without so much as a quick rubdown. I was used to regular release these days.

"Rosalie?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

My breath hitched. That was my girl. "Yeah, I think I am baby." My pussy clenched a little just thinking about it. "I have to be quiet though."

"I suck at dirty talk anyways," she giggled.

"I beg to differ," I moaned. My fingers were already in my panties, finding the sticky dampness there. Not only was this long distance and therefore expensive, but my mom would be up soon and I didn't need her bursting in on me mid-O. Not again. Four times was embarrassing enough.

On the other end, Bella's breathing was picking up, so I knew she was doing the same thing as I was. A quick, mutual release is what we needed. "Mmm," she sighed after a few moments. "Rose." Just hearing her breathing and panting was exactly what I needed. I was becoming slicker by the second. "Oh God baby," Bella sighed. I could hear her turn on our toy now, which only spurred me on. My fingers were flying around my clit, and then plunging inside myself, spreading the juices, swelling my folds. "Almost..." she whimpered.

"Same," I panted. "Ohh... Bella..." My back arched off the bed as the wave hit me hard, my pussy clenching hard, over and over, wishing I were cumming on her mouth or pussy instead of around my own fingers. But fuck, it still felt so damn good... "Shit, love."

She laughed quietly. "Mmm, Rosie baby, that was exactly what I needed."

"You came baby?" She was so quiet sometimes when she orgasmed, I felt like I'd missed it. I was always the most vocal of the two of us.

"Fuck yeah," she said, and the pang in my heart hit hard. I wanted to be kissing her so badly right now; well, kissing and more. I didn't feel whole without her, and it sucked majorly knowing there was an entire ocean between us. "Come home soon to me," she said, echoing my thoughts perfectly. As usual.

"I will, I promise," I said. "I need to be with you. Not that I didn't need to be here, but my place is with you."

"I know you had to, and I'm glad you did," she said. "But I agree. I just don't feel right when you're not here with me."

"Give me another week or so," I said. I was ready to be back in England with my love.

* MD *

"I really don't remember what exactly happened," Jasper said. We had just finished watching a movie, and now Alice and I were grilling him about the accident. I was trying to prod his honesty out of him, and Alice was just plain inquisitive. She kept touching his face, his arm, his chest. And his arm was wrapped tightly around her like he didn't want to let her go, ever. They were actually kind of adorable to watch together. I could tell how much they truly loved each other, and how this had only brought them closer together. Alice was the one for my brother, and though I'd initally been shocked that he was ready to propose to her, I could understand totally now. And I was happy for them, if and when happened.

"Why were you even taking me there, Jazzy?" Alice asked, frowning and playing with his hair. I hated the nickname but ignored it and waited for his answer.

"Well, I wanted to show you something," he said carefully. He looked up at me, and I crossed my arms and gave him the look that said, _Yeah, I fucking know, you idiot. _He nodded once, and gulped.

"Well whatever it was, it wasn't worth you nearly dying for," Alice admonished. She kissed his temple, right beside one of the large bruises that appeared there. "We're not going there again."

Jasper positively wilted. Apparently he'd been planning on taking her there again, maybe to try again. "Yeah, alright," he mumbled. He looked at me again with a pained expression on his face, and I just raised my eyebrows at him. _We'll talk later, _was my silent reply. He nodded once again and we continued on our conversation.

It wasn't until after Alice went into the bedroom to change into her PJs that we said anything more about _The Incident. _

"Seriously? You were going to... ya know?" I stage whispered to him. "Really Jasper? You almost _died. _Dad always told you how dangerous that place is. And do you really think she's the kind of girl that wants a proposal by some damn rock?" I mean honestly, the girl has a walk-in closet the size of most people's kitchens. She wasn't a fairy princess, but she also wasn't any Annie Oakley either.

"I- I just wanted to make it special," he shrugged. He looked miserable. "And I fucked it all up."

"She'll say yes no matter where you do it," I assured him. It was totally obvious, they were head over heels for each other and a girl like Alice didn't say no to much. _Wow, that didn't make her sound like a whore at all. _"Just make it simple." He gave me a look that said simple wasn't going to cut it, so I added, "You know, with candles and a nice dinner and like, Kenny G in the background."

"Kenny G? Fucking A, Rose," Jasper chuckled, shaking his head. Well, at least I made him smile, right? It was nice to see, especially considering how pale he'd been looking lately. I shrugged and grinned at him. He'd figure something out. Clearly the boy liked to plan things, even if they didn't exactly pan out like he wanted them to. Soon enough, Alice would have a ring on her finger and we'd all be picking out napkin colors and dancing to _We are Family _and _Let's Get It On._ Not at the same time.

Alice appeared in the room just a few minutes later so we zipped up our conversation and said good night. Alice helped Jasper to his room, her tiny arms wrapped around his waist to support him. He was able to get around, though his entire leg was encased in a walking boot, brace, bandages, and so on. The doctors thought he'd heal up quickly, but it was still going to take longer than desired. His limp was pronounced tonight, and I watched as Alice and Jasper's backs retreated until they disappeared into the dark bedroom.

I longed to be with Bella, the way Jasper and Alice were together now. Not injured, of course, but just the closeness. The contact. Once again, I felt a pang. I couldn't wait to get back to England and be with my girl. More than ever, I could see what she meant to me, and how much being apart from her truly sucked.

I had some real thinking to do, just like Jasper. He'd found his forever love, and I was pretty sure I'd found mine. Now to do something about it.

* MD *

"Thank you for flying with us, and welcome to London," the flight attendant said at the end of her little speech, and shockingly, tears sprung up in my eyes. It was raining, of course, as I looked out the little round window, waiting for the front of the plane to get their bags. I turned on my phone and saw that Bella had texted me, saying she was waiting at arrivals, and that she couldn't wait to see me. I was back in England now, and jittery. I wanted to be in her arms, right this second.

It was hard to leave San Antonio. I'd missed the warmth, I'd missed the sun, I'd missed my family. Though it was horrible circumstances, it had been amazing to be home. But it had only served to prove a point. I wanted to be with Bella, in every single way, and hopefully, if she'd let me, for the rest of my life. The almost-month I'd been away from her had been bittersweet. We'd emailed, called, and texted almost constantly, so I never felt like I was truly separated from her, but it was clear to me, now more than ever, that that could never be enough. I had to be with her.

The parting words of my father echoed in my head as I finally disembarked from the plane. _If nothing else, this whole thing taught us what means the most. I guess we can be thankful for that. _I'd hugged him, and cried just like I cried while hugging Jasper, my mom, and even Alice, and waved goodbye to them at security. What my dad said wasn't amazingly profound or unusual, but it struck a very strong chord with me. I knew what meant most to me, and I was walking straight towards her.

My future.

**A/N II: Oooh la laaaa, any predictions for me? ;-) **


	20. Plans

**A/N: So life has been taking lots of twists and turns for me lately, health-wise. The medications I'm on have made writing and concentrating is making writing difficult, so I'm sorry this is once again short and probably scattered. I'm trying to get this done! I just realized it's been 2 years since I posted the first chapter, and a lot has happened between then and now! But I also want to get this sucker done. Thank you for your reviews and for sticking with my slow ass! Love ya. Thanks also to sererah for looking this over for me!**

**Disclaimer: I don't make money for this, naturally. I did get a good tax return though. LOL**

Bella didn't go to work the day after I got home from Texas. We spent the majority of the day in bed, making love most of the day and catching up for the rest of it. After weeks away from her, and weeks of endless medical issues and worry and just plain stress, it felt like a miracle to touch her and be beside her again. It solidified everything I was feeling about her, everything I'd planned out in my head as I flew home to London.

Yes, London was home now. Anyplace with Bella was home.

"Will you be able to take a few days off near your birthday?" I asked, rolling onto my side and propping my head up on my hand. Bella was laying on her back, eyes closed and panting to catch her breath. I watched with a smirk on my face, licking my lips in satisfaction. She tasted so damn good, I'd nearly forgotten just how delicious she was, especially when she was so fucking wet for me to begin with. She'd missed me just as much as I'd missed her.

"What?" she asked, clearly still trying to catch her focus after what I'd just done to her. I loved when I blew her mind and made her senseless. She did it to me frequently.

"Do you think you could take off a few days to go on a trip with me?" I asked again. "Near your birthday?"

"Yeah, I think so," she said, opening her eyes to look at me. She looked completely blissed out, which made my pride swell. It also made me horny, which could be remedied soon, if she were in a reciprocating mood... "Why?"

"Um..." I started, momentarily distracted. "Oh. Yeah. I was wondering if you wanted to maybe... go to Venice?"

"Venice?" Bella squealed, sitting bolt upright in bed with a huge grin plastered over her face. "Venice, are you kidding me? Of course I want to go! Oh my God!"

I did an inner fist pump. It was awhile before her birthday, several months away still, but this was how I wanted to do it. Stage One of my plan had begun...

* MD *

Alistair had never been happier to see me. Apparently the garage just didn't know how to function without me anymore, so in the weeks that followed from my return, I mostly just worked on paperwork and reorganizing the chaos that had ensued with my quick departure. "I didn't realize how much of an asset you were until you were gone Rosalie," he said one morning when I was shuffling through the cardboard box he'd used as a makeshift papertray.

"I can tell," I laughed, gesturing to the box. "It wasn't this big of a mess when I got here, what happened?"

"Fuck if I know," he said, shaking his head. I noticed he was looking more tired than I'd ever seen him. I'd also noticed that he was handing off more and more assignments to others in the shop. I was doing paperwork, orders, billing, and the actual jobs themselves, which I didn't mind, especially because he was paying me well, but I couldn't help but worry. Maybe his health wasn't as good as normal. I frowned and took a good long look at him. He didn't seem to look sick, just tired.

"Is there anything else I could do to help?" I offered.

Alistair just shook his head and smiled. "Darling, you're doing more for me than you realize. Thank you."

"You're welcome," I smiled back, still shuffling through the paperwork. Tons and tons to do; I'd be doing nothing else today, except maybe the work on the '07 Vauxhall. "I can stay later tonight too, if you need." Bella was working overtime with Professor Downes. His book deadline was in a week and they were editing the crap out of it. So I'd just be going home to a dark apartment anyways. Plus, overtime meant more money for Italy, which meant a better trip overall.

"Yes, that would be wonderful," Alistair said as he left the office. "Just don't work too hard Rosalie, I don't want to keep you from things."

"Don't worry about me," I shrugged. "I like having things do to, feeling useful."

"You're more than that," he said, and saluted briefly before he left the room. I frowned. Something wasn't right with him, and it worried me. Maybe his heart? I wasn't sure about those kinds of things, and honestly, with all the medical stuff we dealt with with Jasper, it could just be that I was looking for problems where none existed. Hopefully that was the case.

* MD *

I threw myself into my work over the next few days, as did Bella. We were busy and exhausted and it was just about time to blow off some steam. We called up all of our friends, who called up some of their friends, and before we knew it, we had a giant party planned for the weekend. We were going to pre-funk at our place before heading out into the city. I wanted to dance and love on my girlfriend and drink until I felt dizzy.

"I can't wait!" Bella grinned as we got ready. My mouth was already watering when I saw the outfit Bella had planned out to wear. Fitted dark jeans, a see-through gauzy top that showed off her curves and plenty of bra, and heels that made her stand nearly as tall as I am barefoot. "My head is so full of Shakespeare I'm not sure how I'm not spouting off sentences that use "thine" and "nunnery" in them all the time."

I laughed. "You should try, that'd be amusing."

"Nope, tonight I want to get drunk and make out with you like we're strangers."

"Oooh, now that's intriguing," I smirked. I liked that idea somehow... like we'd be seducing each other, playing a little game. "We could pretend we've never met before and like... sneak off into a dark corner." I was picturing it and loving it the more I thought about it. Not that being monogamous wasn't amazing, because it honestly was, but it was nice to mix it up a little. Add a little mystery.

Bella came up and wound her arms around my waist, nipping at my neck. "I saw you from across the room, and I couldn't help but come over here and say hello..." I shivered, a literal chill going up and down my spine as she kissed from my ear to my shoulder. She chuckled against my skin as she felt my body twitch in her arms. "Hello," she said in a deep, husky voice that I associated with sex now.

It would be so easy to turn around in her arms, cancel our plans, and just have her here, and I was tempted to, but then the doorbell was ringing, and I was groaning in disappointment. "Damn," I sighed. "It's probably Mary."

It was. She had booze and about ten people with her, some of whom I had never seen before. There were swirls of names, most of which I didn't catch, and the rest I didn't remember, and then someone had thrown on the iHome and was blasting The Fratellis throughout the flat. The pre-funk was officially on. Minutes later, Bella came out in her clubbing outfit, and I grinned at her. She winked back, and then she was bombarded with the new faces and a bottle of Stella.

God, I loved parties.

* MD *

We'd had a perfect night. Friends, booze, dancing, hot sex, and falling asleep in the right bed with the right person. Bella and I played the stranger game, and it was hotter than hell. It felt forbidden and exciting and I lost track of how many times I came, both at the club and in our flat. Good times.

"Where are you going?" she mumbled, eyes still closed, as I tried to shimmy out of bed to use the bathroom the next morning. "Don't go."

"I'll be right back baby," I promised, kissing her on the forehead. "Sleep more." If she was feeling anything like me she was a little hungover and could use a Saturday morning in bed.

"Mmmkay," she sighed, and curled into the pillow I'd been using. I rushed to use the bathroom and brush my teeth; it felt like a shoe had sat inside my mouth the whole night and I didn't want to be kissing my girl with breath like that. I had a special night planned for us, that is if we even felt like leaving the bed. I wouldn't mind either way.

I checked my phone, which I had left, uncharged, and noticed I had several texts from the night before. Mainly they were from Alice, who was insisting I call her as soon as I read this, because otherwise she was going to hunt me down and make me watch Project Runway marathons with her. That was incentive enough to text her back immediately.

The rest of the texts were from Mary, Leah, and a few of the others from last night, including this fantastically flaming guy named Paul that we'd met in the club. He promised good shopping, excellent places to eat sushi, and apparently the best neck massages you've ever had. He'd texted to see if Bella and I wanted to have some dinner one evening this week. I was all for it.

As I brushed my teeth, I waited for Alice's reply. It was nine in the morning here, which meant it was late in Texas, but I figured if Alice really wanted to tell me something, she'd be up. I got my answer moments later... in the form of a photo. I spat into the sink and rinsed as it loaded.

"Oh my God!" I shrieked when I finally saw it.

"What?" I could see from the open door that Bella had sat bolt upright in bed, pausing to groan and squeeze her eyes shut for a moment before adding, "What is it Rose?"

"Alice... Jasper... He gave her a giant ass fucking ring! How the hell did he afford that?" I mused as Bella shuffled to me and took the phone from my hand.

"Holy crow!" she exclaimed as she saw the ring, her eyes opening wide. "That's impressive." She handed me back the phone and I stared at the photo of Alice's tiny hand, seemingly dwarfed by the size of the rock on her ring finger.

I couldn't afford half the size of that ring... I hoped that Bella didn't want or expect something like that, not that she didn't deserve it. It's just, we had to buy groceries and pay rent.

"I mean it would seem to work for someone like Alice, but I'd never want anything that big," Bella said, as if reading my mind, alieviating all of my fears. Bella wasn't flashy or gaudy, so I shouldn't have worried, but I wanted to make it perfect when I finally asked, so knowing her preferences really helped.

"I can't believe my mom hasn't called me about it," I said, wondering if I should call her. Probably would be best to wait seeing as how it was stupid o'clock in the morning in San Antonio. "I'm sure she's over the moon, she's wanted Alice to be a part of our family officially for years and years."

"She'll call," Bella yawned, wrapping her arms around my waist. "In the meantime, I think we need to go back to bed baby. I'm still a little drunk, I think."

* MD *

My mom did call, hours later while Bella and I were shopping at the local Sainsbury's. "Hey Mama!" I exclaimed. "I saw, yes, I saw the picture... no... yes... Well I'm sure Alice will want to plan something huge, I mean we were all there for her sweet sixteen bash... Nahh... Yup... Yeah I hope he calls me too." My mom was a blur of words, so excited I could barely keep up with her chatter. She was already planning grandbabies, it was kind of adorable.

There was a beep on the end of the line indicating there was another call coming in, and it was listed as Jasper when I checked, so I told my mom I was going to take the call, and hung up with her.

I made sure I was out of the way on the milk and butter aisle before I answered Jasper's call. "Hey Twin," I grinned. "Hooooow's it gooooin'?"

"You know exactly how it's going, you little butthead," he laughed. "So, are you going to congratulate me or what?"

"Well I assume you didn't nearly get killed this time around," I said with no small amount of sarcasm in my voice, though I said it lightly, teasingly. "So I guess I can congratulate you for that."

"You're hilarious, you know that? I'm never going to live that down, am I?"

"It'll be another one of our twin secrets," I said. "But really Jasper, I'm so happy for you."

"So am I," he sighed happily. "Wanna talk to her? She's bouncing up and down."

"Oh God, sure," I said. A shuffling sound later, and Alice was on the phone with me.

"You're going to be my maid of honor, and Bella is going to be one of my bridesmaids," Alice babbled immediately. "Oh Rose, we're really going to be sisters now, after so long!" My heart warmed. I had started out hating the kid, she was so... peppy all the time. But over the years I'd really become fond of her, and she really did make my brother happy. I knew after his accident that she was really the one for him, so their engagement really was something to be celebrated. "I just wish you weren't in England, so we could plan everything," Alice pouted a few minutes later. She had described, in fully detail, about how Jasper had proposed to her. There had been a five-course dinner and a room full of peonies involved.

"Well you should come here then," I teased. "I could help you then."

"Oh my God, I should!" she squealed, and suddenly she was yelling to Jasper that they were going to London.

"Wait, are you serious?" I exclaimed. People were starting to stare at me. Stupid blonde American making noise in a public place, blocking the whole milk. "Sorry," I mouthed. I was starting to pick up on the habit of apologizing for everything, even if I didn't actually do anything.

"Well Rosie, you're not leaving us much of a choice, and I really think it'd be fun," Alice explained. "Of course we'll have to get permission from the doctor first, you know, for Jasper, but I'm sure they'll say yes, and you can play tour guide, and..."

Overwhelmed, I told Alice we'd talk about it later, and congratulated her for the millionth time, and hung up after a few more minutes of gushing. Bella had rejoined me, our cart full of necessities.

"Apparently we're going to have some house guests," I told her.

**A/N II: Yay for engagements! How do you think Rose should ask Bella? ;-)**


	21. Nerves

**A/N: This is the final chapter you guys. More than two years, two exes (that I based a lot of this off of), and jumping the shark more times than I care to think about, I'm ready for this story to be over. But I wanted to finish it for those of you who have stuck with me, and I thank you so much for it. I appreciate every review, encouragement, and ounce of know, I just realized, of all the places they have traveled in this story (Forks, Seattle, San Antonio, London, Dublin, Stratford-upon-Avon, Venice) I've been to all of them. Sweet deal! Hahaha. I miss travel... Anyways... totally off the subject.  
**

**Thanks so much to emmettsmate for looking this over for me. Love ya bday gal! :-)  
**

**Disclaimer: Trust me, I'm feeling poor lately, and in no way was any of the money in my bank account made off of this story. This all belongs to other people, and my imagination.**

Alice brought a surprisingly small amount of luggage with her to London. This surprised me, until I realized she was planning on buying a set here and filling them up with all the shopping trips she'd planned. This made a lot more sense to me. The woman was an enigma of shopping. It's not like she spent all her money that way either; she was a bargain hunter through and through.

Jasper was supposed to come with her, but between work and doctor's orders to relax and recover, he wasn't able to come. I was sad to not see my brother, but I was actually kind of glad to have this time to get to know Alice. Bella was also excited, because she'd really bonded to Alice over our Christmas vacation in San Antonio.

"Girl's Weekend!" Alice exclaimed as we took a bus back to our apartment. "Hey, why aren't we on the top?" She pouted and watched as others climbed up the stairs on the double-decker bus.

"Because you brought half your closet with you," I smirked.

"I could have been much worse," she sighed, but then she brightened. "We'll be leaving with much more, I'm sure."

"Oh boy!" I quipped dryly. Bella snickered into her sleeve. She hated shopping even more than I did. She was just lucky she had the excuse of work to keep her away from most of it. When Alistair found out my future sister-in-law was visiting from the States, he insisted I take the entire time off work.

"You've been working so hard for me," he said when I told him Alice was coming. "Please, enjoy yourself. It's the least I can do to thank you for all you've been doing. This place is amazing."

I hated to brag... OK, I loved to brag. The shop was fucking awesome now that I'd gotten my hands on it. I'd never even taken a single business class before, but I had the shop running like a well-oiled machine and we were getting more customers by the week. Alistair's business hadn't been doing badly before, but he was doing amazing now. Thank you very much.

When we reached our flat, Alice began a torrent of "oohs" and "Oh my God, how cute's!" She loved everything, or at least seemed to. It was nice having her around. She was so vibrant and excited about everything, it made me realize just how awesome everything really was.

That's how the next week was. Falling back in love with London, not that I'd ever falled out of love. I just appreciated it more. We took her all over the city, to tourist spots and local places, and of course, we shopped until we dropped. Alice adored all of the charity shops we scrounged through, and she about cried with happiness when we introduced her to Primark. I'd personally never really loved the place, but she kept saying "score!" whenever she'd find a bargain.

"Think Jasper would like this on me?" Alice asked, holding up the skimpiest little bra I'd ever seen. Alice was an A cup at best, but this thing looked like it was made for an 9 year old. A slutty 9 year old. Gross.

"Good Lord, that's my brother," I shuddered. I didn't need to know if he liked purple lace or not.

"Oh yeah, I forgot," she giggled. "Sorry!" She dropped the bra into her basket anyways, and I forced my brain to ignore it. "So, you and Bella... how's that going?"

"Awesome," I said, looking through the panties with Alice now. I could definitely use a few new sexy panties. And this sheer scrap of fabric would look great over Bella's ass... We hadn't had sex since Alice had gotten there, for obvious reasons, but I was definitely getting horny.

"Have you guys gotten super serious now?"

"Well yeah," I said. "She's it for me."

"Aww, I thought so," Alice beamed. "Are you gonna ask her to like... well, I mean can you ask her to marry you?" Her brow furrowed in confusion. It was hard to deny that in Texas, this wasn't necessarily a topic that came up often in casual conversation. Even though San Antonio is a pretty progressive city, I still hadn't grown up knowing many gay couples, let alone ones that talked about marriage. I didn't blame Alice for being confused about terms.

"Yes, and I'm going to," I admitted. The shriek that followed next could only be described as unholy.

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!" Alice launched herself into my arms, dropping her basket of questionable panties and making the entire store stare at us. Awesome. "Rosalie I'm so happy for you! When? Where? Do you have a ring yet? Do you want to have a double wedding? Oh my God, your mom is just going to die! Can you imagine? This is the best thing ever!"

"My ears, Alice, my ears!" I winced dramatically. She giggled and released me.

"I'm sorry, this is just so amazing! Bella is the best, and I'm just so happy you found her. We have so much to plan!"

Uh oh.

* MD *

Alice spent the remaining time in London with me both planning her own wedding and secretly planning mine.

"Now I know you're not romantic in particular," she said after Bella'd gone to bed on the last night Alice was staying, "but this needs to be really romantic for her. Make this the one romantic night she'll ever have."

"Hey I can be romantic," I grumbled. "I fixed her car for her after her dad died."

"Well sure, that was a nice gesture, but you need to do something to sweep her off her feet. I know you're a woman, but I feel like I need to remind you that women love romanctic gestures."

"I was planning on asking her in Venice," I said hopefully. Suddenly I was feeling a little panicky. I'd just planned on taking her to like, San Marco's Square and asking her, but now I wasn't sure if that was enough. Would that be too public for my painfully shy girl? She had opened up to me, and to the friends that she made, but she still blushed when I held her hand in public, and rarely opened up to anyone. There were still glimpses of that awkward and quiet girl I'd first fallen for, and I didn't want to upset her in my quest for our future happiness.

"That's perfect!" Alice was beside herself with glee, and we plotted throughout the night. She was the perfect person to talk to about this, and I found myself getting more and more excited as we planned. I wanted Bella to be mine forever... With what I had planned, I hoped there'd be no way she could refuse.

* MD *

The weeks flew by as we planned for Bella's birthday trip to Venice. We were both busy with our jobs and lives together, and we couldn't wait for the break.

"So where are we staying?" Bella asked. She was always trying to weasel details out of me, because I was keeping my mouth shut on my plans. This trip was all about her, and I wanted it to be a surprise.

"Nope, you're not going to get it out of me," I said, and she scowled at me.

"Rose, I hate surprises, you know that!" she protested.

"It's your birthday baby, I just want it to be nice for you," I said, pulling her into my arms and kissing the tip of her nose. She sighed and held me close. I closed my eyes and just held her, swaying gently as we stood beside the refrigerator. It was a simple moment that reminded me of just how good she was for me, and how much I wanted her in my life always.

"I just..." she finally said into my neck. "What if I pack the wrong things?"

I laughed. "Since when do you care about what you wear?"

"Well I don't want to freeze if we're staying in a hostel or something," she shrugged, pulling back.

"Oh fuck that, we're not staying in a damn hostel!" I scoffed. We were staying in a damn nice place, thank you very much. It was right off the of the Grand Canal, and cost an arm and a leg per night, but according to the reviews online, it was worth every penny. I hoped it would set the tone for our trip; that she was beautiful and worthy and how much I wanted to take care of her. She took care of me every single day, and I wanted to show her how much I appreciated it.

If someone who knew me before I'd met Bella were to see me now, I doubt they'd recognize me. And I'm more than OK with it. That was the past, she is my future, and I'm pretty fucking happy about my present too, which is saying a lot.

* MD *

The plane landed at Marco Polo airport two days before Bella's twenty-fourth birthday. We grabbed our bags on the Roulette-decorated baggage carousel, and made it through the mad tangle of people in the airport. We were going to get into Venice the way most people do- water taxi. Bella and I shared a giddy look as we boarded the Vaporetto. It was mid-day, and warm for mid-September. I gripped her hand tightly as we approached the city.

"God, it's even more beautiful than I expected, and I expected a lot," Bella admitted as the taxi wound through the canals. We hadn't even reached the Grand Canal yet and my jaw was dropping. This was... ten billion times better than I ever could have expected. I was excited beyond belief, partly because we were finally here, and partly for what was to come. The little black velvet box was burning a hole in my backpack. I could practically feel it vibrating, begging for attention. Begging to be given. Begging to be accepted.

When we got off on our stop, Bella immediately got lost in the crowd. I chased after her, and grabbed her hand as we explored the street just outside of our hotel.

"Wanna check in and drop off our stuff?" I asked, and she nodded vigorously. Her eyes widened when we stepped into the lobby.

"Rose, this is too much," she hissed. "Really! This has to be so expensive..." Bella bit her lip, which made me just want to kiss her, she was too damn cute.

"Stop worrying about it, my parents are footing the bill," I lied. "They want us to have a nice vacation. We both know we deserve it."

Bella's internship was almost over, and she'd worked her ass off for it. Pretty soon it would be time to think about where we were going to go, or if we'd even stay in England or not. Personally I was hoping we would, though maybe we'd fall in love with Italy. Who knew? At this point I'd go anywhere and do anything for her, and I hoped that'd never change.

"Fine," she sighed, and we checked in with little language difficulty. They probably saw tons of tourists here daily, and I appreciated it. I was nervous enough as is without adding travel snafus into our days here.

The room was gorgeous. It was small, but opulent. There was deep red wallpaper and matching velvet curtains, a lots of gold and white on the queen sized bed. There was a dark carved desk beneath the window that faced out onto the canal, and I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw they'd put the vase of soft pink peonies on the desk as I'd asked- they were Bella's favorites. The entire room was rich looking, and even the bathroom was shiny.

"Holy crap, this is incredible!" Bella exclaimed. "Rose, this place..." She flopped onto the bed, sinking into the luxurious feather bed. She looked good all surrounded by white. Happy and content with life. I jumped on the bed with her, wanting to share in the moment. "Thank you for bringing me here," she said, rolling over to face me in the bed. She was so beautiful, all propped up on one elbow and looking at me like I was everything in her entire universe. I almost asked her right then and there... But no, I had a plan, and I was going to stick to it.

"I think I want to shower real quick," I said, before leaning over to give her a kiss. "Then it's time to see Venezia!" I did my best Italian impression but Bella's giggle let me know I sucked.

"I think I'll join you," she purred, and slid off the bed with a wicked smirk on her face. Oh, I liked where she was going with this...

* MD *

Venice is easy to get lost in, especially when you have my sense of direction. So Bella and I did what most people do, and stuck with the main veins and arteries of the streets and bridges that connected one tourist spot to another. We stopped in touristy shops filled with Murano glass (I thought maybe one of the days we'd take the Vaporetto out to the other island and see it being blown and shaped in person), and tried on a million Carnival masks. We stopped in Saint Mark's Basilica and saw the bronze horses, and I spent the entire afternoon trying to convince Bella that she wouldn't fall out of a gondola if we took a ride.

If I'm honest, that's where I was thinking I'd propose to her. When it was getting dark, and the gondolier could serenade us- OK probably not the serenading. Alice wanted me to cheese it up but I doubted very highly that Bella would want some random guy singing to us. Besides, she was so private, I knew she'd probably hate it if I did something in front of even one person.

"I'm super starved," I sighed as we exited St Mark's into the bustling square. There were too many goddamned pigeons everywhere, and I growled at Bella when she suggested we buy some feed. Hell to the no. Those fucking rats with wings were getting nowhere near me if I could help it.

"There's one more place we need to see first," Bella said, which surprised me because all day long she'd been making googly eyes at all the restaurants we passed. We'd been exploring all day with not much more than a sandwich from the airport in our bellies.

"Fine, is it far?" I slipped her hand into mine as we walked towards a long row of gondolas and one of the most stunning sights I'd seen yet in the city. The open water before me was sparkling with the sun low in the sky, just ready to start into sunset. "Wow, that's beautiful."

"I think it's just around this corner," Bella muttered, tugging my hand and leading me back around what I believed to be the Doge's Palace. We'd come back for a tour of that later on tomorrow. "Yes! Here it is!"

The Bridge of Sighs is a lot smaller than one would expect it to be. Our hotel was near the Rialto, which was equally as famous, but a lot bigger. And a lot less depressing. "I'd sigh if that," I gestured towards the view I'd been so captivated with moments before, "was the last thing I'd see besides four walls."

"Mm hmm," Bella said. She was looking around, like she was looking for something, or maybe waiting for something to happen.

"Hey." I squeezed her hand, and she startled. I studied her face, which was redder than usual, and quirked my eyebrow at her. "You OK?"

"Yes... yes. More than OK." She nodded fervently, much too enthusiastically for her normal behavior. "This may sound odd... and I just realized how unromantic this place is." She hit herself on the forehead, in a _Stupid Bella _move she did every once in awhile. "I thought it was such a great place but it's a prison-"

"Bella, what's going on? You're acting really weird," I said, but I was starting to cotton on. And I couldn't fucking believe it.

"Rosalie-" She licked her lips and looked down at her feet. "Rosalie." She looked up again and there were tears in her eyes, but something else too. Determination. And right then and there my knees got weak, because I knew what was happening. "I have never been good at expressing myself. When we first met, I was scared to even be attracted to you, because well, you're you. You're amazing and beautiful, and I had no idea why you wanted me. And somehow you got to me, I don't know how, but you became perfect for me, or maybe I became perfect for you, or maybe we're just perfect for each other, but in any case-" She gulped and got down on one knee in front of me. In front of everyone. Groups of Japanese tourists, and loud Americans, and subtle French people, and every single damn person walking by at that moment. I was gasping, mainly because I was already in tears. "Will you marry me, Rosalie? Be perfect for me for the rest of our lives?"

"Yes!" The words were out of my mouth before I could even think, and I was pulling her up on her feet so I could kiss the breath out of her. "Yes, yes, yes," I said between kisses. "God, yes. You took the words right out of my mouth."

"Huh?" She was half laughing, half crying with me, beaming like she'd won the lottery. Or something better.

"I was gonna ask you too," I giggled. Me, giggling. I pulled the box out of my pocket at the same time as she held out one for me.

"I love you, Rosalie," Bella sighed, pulling me into her arms for a kiss. It's slow, it's tender, it's full of promise. There will be many more kisses, many more declarations of love. This is just the beginning. And I can't wait.

I'm Rosalie fucking Hale, and I'm in love.

**A/N II: Epilogue to follow, it's already written, so it will be up shortly. :-) Whatcha think? Bit of a surprise there...**


	22. Epilogue

**A/N: This is it ladies, the epilogue. I know I have a lot of loose ends I never really tied up... but just assume it all went well for them. Haha. I just wanted to make sure these two had a good ending together, that's all that matters in the end! A HUGE THANK YOU to everyone who read, reviewed, and supported me throughout this little story. I hope I got the most important theme across here: That love can transform. **

**Thanks to emmettsmate for looking this over for me! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or make money off of any of this. You already knew that.**

**Epilogue**

"Claire, if you don't get your tiny little butt down here right now, so help me-"

"I'm here Mom! I'm here! I'm ready!" Claire skidded in from the kitchen, already wearing her brand new red backpack.

"Good, I don't want you to miss your very first day of school!" I grinned. On the outside, I was firm, I was calm, I was the outward appearance of Cool Mom. On the inside, I was sobbing and shaking and begging them not to let my baby go.

Bella and I had officially adopted Claire less than three years ago, when she was two years old. The process wasn't easy, thanks to all the legal mumbo-jumbo they make you go through (gay, straight, whatever, it's never easy), but all of the hassle and stress was worth it. Claire was our gift, and we loved her from head to toe. And now she was off and ready to go to school for the very first time.

"What if they don't like me?" she asked as I buckled her in the backseat of the family van. Yes, I drove a mini-van now. Between Claire, the deliveries I had to make to the shop, and our giant St Bernard named Darth Vader, I didn't have much of a choice.

"Baby, there is no way they're not going to love you," I promised. "How could they not? You're a rockstar." She beamed at me, and when I got into the driver's seat, I flipped on Claire's favorite CD. The lamenting of Mick Jagger getting no satisfaction blasted through the speakers.

Bella and I spent three years in England after her internship ended, but when we decided to adopt, it made more sense to be closer to family, so we headed back to the States. Austin seemed perfect, so we didn't have to be suffocated by my mom and Alice's enthusiasm, but close enough that they could come babysit if we needed them to.

Like in just a few days when I was going to take Bella to a bed and breakfast for her birthday, just the two of us. I couldn't wait to get her alone. It had been... well, awhile for us. Between her new job as associate professor in the English department at the University of Texas at Austin, and the opening of my new car repair shop, we didn't have time to spend alone. Any and all free time was spent with Claire and passing out during episodes of cooking shows.

Life was exciting, ever-changing, and sexually frustrating.

"Mom, are we there yet?" Claire asked from the backseat.

"Almost Hunny Bunny," I promised. She sighed and played with her jet black ponytail which I'd fixed up with a cute little scrunchie. She looked nothing like me or Bella, with her dark olive skin and almost alarmingly green eyes- she was gorgeous already, even at age five. My Claire Bear was going to be a little heartbreaker, I could just tell. More than likely she'd come home with some new story about the boy who kept following her on the playground, or someone who left her love notes in her cubby. It had happened on playdates before. Like mother, like daughter...

The school wasn't too far from our house, so we got there in record time. I wished, with a pang deep in my chest, that Bella could be here to see this. Our little girl was growing up and going off to school. Sure, this was the first time in hundreds, if not thousands of mornings when she'd head off to school, but this was it. From now on she was going to be a little grown-up, becoming independent from Bella and I. Getting her own identity. Making it through all the crap childhood brings. And all I could do is wait, watch, love, and kick ass if necessary.

My God, I was finally a grown up. It only took me thirty some-odd years to get here, but I made it. The tears were falling down my cheeks before I even realized it. "Are you ready kiddo?" I dried my tears quickly before spinning in my seat to look at her. She looked petrified.

"No," she whispered.

"It'll be just like going to visit your cousins," I offered.

"Hailey and Jonah aren't here though," she pouted. "It won't be the same."

"No, but you'll make friends, I promise. Friends you'll get to see almost every day."

"Well..." That seemed to cheer her up a bit, and she was actually smiling a little when I helped her out of the van.

"Come on, let's go meet your teacher."

She gulped, but put on a brave face. "OK, let's go."

* MD *

"How was your first day Claire?" Bella exclaimed. She'd managed to get off work early and get home before I went to pick up Claire, and I was so glad she had.

"Mama, it was amazing!" Claire squealed, running into Bella's arms in a fashion not unlike how'd she'd greeted me when I picked her up. "I met Kenny Rogers."

"Umm..." Bella lifted up her eyebrows in question while I stifled a laugh.

"He's a turtle," Claire explained, and Bella made the "ahh" face. Claire went on to describe her day in full detail, from table assignments to recess to story time and the picture she'd colored for us, which she produced from her backpack with pride. "We were supposed to draw our families, so I drew Mom and Mama and me, and Uncle Jasper and Auntie Alice and Hailey and Jonah, and Grandma and Grandpa, and Grandpa Charlie in Heaven..." She pointed out each person as she listed them, and I had to admit her skills were pretty decent for a five year old. I wasn't much past stick figures at her age. Hell, I wasn't much better than that now.

"Claire, who is that?" Bella asked, pointing at the smallest figure on the page.

"That's my future brother or sister," Claire explained, as if we'd asked her if the sky was blue.

"Oh." Well that surprised me. She'd never shown interest in a sibling before, in fact it seemed that she loved being an only child. She always hated the noise that Hailey and Jonah could make. I was the loudest one in this family most days.

"Yeah, I hope I get one soon," she said, and continued on her chattering. It never ended, not even when we tucked her into bed.

"Claire, you gotta sleep now, or you'll be too tired to go to school in the morning," I told her, and that got her to shut up pretty quickly. "I love you baby girl."

"I love you too Mom," she said, and curled up into her covers. "Night."

I shut the door quietly behind me, and walked into the bedroom to change into my PJs. I was exhausted, emotionally and physically, and all I wanted was to curl into bed with my wife and sleep a million years.

"Is she asleep yet?" Bella asked when I joined her in the living room. She was surrounded by books, as usual, but she was also in her PJs and looking as worn as I felt. I sat on the couch beside her and collapsed into the throw pillows.

"I have no idea, she was so wired today," I said. "I can't believe she's in school already."

"I know," Bella sighed, setting her paperwork and books aside. She leaned over and curled herself up against me. After all these years, she still felt so damn good. Even better than in the beginning. Now I knew every curve, every freckle, every place that would make her sigh, and I cherished that about her. She knew me just as well.

We were quiet, each reflecting on the fact that our baby was growing up, and then she spoke. "I didn't know she wanted a sibling."

"Me either, she's never talked about it before," I said. "Neither have we."

"I guess I just figured we were so lucky to get Claire, and I never really allowed myself to wonder if we could have another," she said. "But maybe we should... at least talk about it."

"Is that what you want?" I asked. "Another baby?"

"I hated being an only child," Bella admitted. "And even though you guys still torture each other," she rolled her eyes at me, "I envy what you have with Jasper."

"Are you saying you want to look into another adoption?"

"If you do..."

"I do." Bella sat up and grinned widely at me. "I know life is crazy right now, but when won't it be? And Claire deserves someone to grow up with. And somewhere there is a baby who deserves to be loved, and I know we can give him or her that."

"We can," I echoed, and leaned in to give Bella a lingering kiss. "I'm ready if you are."

"For anything," she grinned.

I took Bella upstairs to our room where we made love quietly before falling asleep in each others arms. The love of my life. The angel sent to me to save me, change me, heal me. Make me the better person that I am today. My wife, Bella.

**A/N II: Thank you all so much! Leave the girls love one more time? Please and thank you. :-)**


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